"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Interaction: Did I act AFC?

chell

Don Juan
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Hey,

so today I had this interaction with a chick at school and I'm unsure whether or not the way I acted was AFC. I'm not really all that attracted to said chick but I'm trying to improve so I'm using the interactions I have to learn. The girl I'm talking about is in my year at school so I know her name but we don't hang out or anything. So this is how it went.

She [hits me on my back with something to get my attention]: Hey, so am I gonna see you on Friday, we gonna dance on the box? (I think she meant one of the speakers there, as in sexy girls dancing etc etc. I've never been to a club so I'm not sure(There's a party on Friday that's organised by my year at school. It's kind of like a tradition over here. Its at a club, lots of drinking involved etc.)?!

Code:
Me: Yeah, sure... So you're taking your hobby from your home to the club now? 

She: Haha. You don't know my hobbies. 

Me: Maybe I don't wanna know. (I tried to be a bit c&f here)

She: Well, I'm not going to tell you anyway. 

Me: Okay, well I probably don't want to know anyway.

She: Okay.
The way I feel about the interaction is that at the beginning I started off okay, being c&f talking about her taking that hobby of hers to the club (maybe too negative? could I have come off as sarcastic or douche?) but the "Maybe I don't want to know" could have been to negative?! I was trying to be ****y. Maybe she thinks I'm just not interested in her hobbies?

So what do you guys have to say about this? Any feedback? I know this was a rather meaningless interaction (maybe 1 min) but I'm really trying to learn from my mistakes. By the way: This chick touches me quite a bit, playfully hitting, kicking etc. I don't think she's attracted to me though, she seems to be quite social in general.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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You're thinking about it too much. You were a little too insistent on not wanting to know what she does, and to her that probably came off like she was annoying you. But really this little incident isn't really going to massively affect a relationship.
 

eaglez1177

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War Against Betaism said:
You're thinking about it too much. You were a little too insistent on not wanting to know what she does, and to her that probably came off like she was annoying you. But really this little incident isn't really going to massively affect a relationship.
Took the words right outta my mouth, your def over analyzing this whole thing man lol
 

S.Y.L

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You sounded weird. I dunno what to describe it as, but it aint good.
 

chell

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Today I saw her on my way to school. She said hello, I said hello. I didn't really keep eye contact while doing so. I know that must have come off as either weird (shy, beta). I'm trying to get a grip on my social skills or lack thereof. I even have a hard time looking my guy friends in the eyes while talking to them. I think this is rooted in my "belief" that I'm not good looking enough to get chicks.

I'll definitely have to get over it. I do have some flaws in my appearance that can and will eventually be fixed (like my teeth, I need braces and will get them but it's expensive and it's not an extreme case anyway just one or two teeth that need adjusting as far as I can tell) and my face is somewhat asymmetrical. When I was a child I got teased once for being "ugly" by some younger girls. It's not that incidents like that repeated but I really feel like that one incident (being called ugly by a less than average looking kid girl) has left an emotional scar on me that's making me not love myself and thus not be confident enough.

Looks like in addition to fixing some physical flaws the main problem is my "inner game" - the way I look at myself / my attitude.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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LesaneCrooks

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Stop analyzing your conversations. Seriously. I did this for years, never gained a thing, all the girls I hooked up with I never did this with, and all the relationships I did this with failed horribly. Its just really bad news, and you need to stop doing it. Trust me.
 
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