integrity- what does it matter

[iqqi]

i am just wondering what you all think about integrity. it seems like so many men lack it, and are better without it. is it shallowness? is it fraudulence?

and it seems that noone gets ahead because of it. that you aren't respected truely, anymore for it. is it true all is fair in love and war?

my vision is a little hazy right now. what is the truth about integrity!?

 

[Walk this Way]

Integrity is at the heart of becoming a Don Juan.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Integrity is more important for landing that LTR, and keeping that person.

Even though many people get ahead with little to no integrity, those that do have it are going to end up alot happier with what they do have in the end, and are also going to be more respected for it.

It is a rare virtue though.

 

[Best friends? NAY]

Integrity, is not about other people it's about you. YOU will be more happy if you have Integrity and realize YOU are doing good and being good, no matter how OTHER people are, and how they treat you, YOU are the good one. Have it, use it, live it.

 

[Jean Paul]

I agree with WtW.

People who give up on what they believe in, do so out of their own insecurity: they are afraid that they will not be accepted for their beliefs. They are afraid to be alone.

Lot's of people on this board pretend to be someone they are not: they focus all their actions on how to get girls, on creating an image of themselves.

Sure, I will not deny that these people actually do manage to get girls. Even stronger, most of them probably will get more girls than I ever will. But they are still AFC's, because they are trying to get these girls for the wrong reasons.

Scoring chicks today has more to do with gaining social status than with sincere interest in each other. On the other hand, there are girls I know who cannot bear to be without a relationship for longer than 3 weeks.

This is why it is so important to love yourself. If you cannot live with yourself and who you are, how can you expect somebody else to do so? Even more important, how can you ever live with yourself if you do not stand for what you believe in?

This is why being secure about yourself is the essence of being a DJ. If you are secure about yourself, you will be able to stand for you beliefs, and if you stand for your beliefs, you will finally truly be happy with yourself and who you are.

Just my 2 cents,


JP

 

[macknetikcharm]

Once you start giving up your values to impress women you might as well just burn your Player's Card right then & there.

 

[macknetikcharm]

Once you start giving up your values to impress women you might as well just burn your Player's Card right then & there.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Originally posted by iqqi
i am just wondering what you all think about integrity. it seems like so many men lack it, and are better without it. is it shallowness? is it fraudulence?

and it seems that noone gets ahead because of it. that you aren't respected truely, anymore for it. is it true all is fair in love and war?

my vision is a little hazy right now. what is the truth about integrity!?

Who says guys are better without integrity?

Dammit iqqi, quit being so friggin melodramatic. Shallowness! Fraudulence! Infamy! Depravity!

Integrity is its own currency, and its the only type of wealth which cannot be taken from you.

Leave it at that and quit being that little girl always feeling so worthless that she goes out of her way to prove her worth. Quit talking above your head, you ain't gotta try to kick it.

-Cyrano

 

[Walldorf]

Hi Iqqi,

and it seems that noone gets ahead because of it. that you aren't respected truely, anymore for it. is it true all is fair in love and war?

I think you should have a slighty different angle here. Integrity is something you do not to be respected by others, but by yourself.

Nathaniel Branden made a good quote about integrity:

In today's world, many people find the word incongruously old-fashioned. It does not sound "scientific." And yet, we do need principles to guide our lives, and the principles we accept must be reasonable, because if we betray them , our self-esteem will suffer. Integrity is one of the guardians of mental health.

In the end is integrity is about self esteem. And having a healthy self esteem is the best foundation to have a happy life. Additionally the old saying is still valid, that the world is a mirror of yourself, so the respect you give to yourself will be given to you by others. It might be a hard way to go, but there is no no way around it IMHO. And finally people will enter you life, who have the good qualities you might miss now.

One of my reasons for being here is, because there are is a good number of people who try to have a lifestyle of integrity on this board (definitely not all, but still enough to have good and healthy discussinons about it), so saying that a lot of man lack it, is in my view just half the truth, especiallly when a number of people come here and try to do something about it.

Good luck,

wal

 

[Nine Breaker]

Intergrity can be described as containing three qualities:

1/ Being true to yourself
2/ Never deceiving yourself
3/ Never betraying yourself

When we say "yourself" in those 3 points, we refer to what it is about you that defines your personality, your actions, and your individuality.

When we look at integrity in this manner, it becomes quite obvious that it plays a significant role in determining a person's worth in their own eyes and in the eyes of others.

It is so much easier to betray our own integrity these days than to maintain it. As such, those who are able to facilitate their integrity are often perceived in a higher senes by others. Not all others, mind you, just others that put even a slight value upon integrity.

Integrity is often found in inspiring leaders, those who seem to command the respect as well as the actions of those under their command. This can apply to all leaders, and those with leadership potential, because one who has the inner strength to persevere with their own integrity gives a sense of hope to other people who struggle with such things.

One problem with people's sense of integrity today is that they see integrity as "standing firmly for what you believe". In a sense, this is a true characteristic of integrity, but the statement is an incomplete one. Many who follow this sense of integrity's meaning often develop an arrogant nature and are unbending in their views, even when faced with the truth that they are wrong. A person of integrity stands firmly for what they believe is the right thing to do. By changing our actions in light of new evidence is not a compromise of integrity - it is an affirmation of it.

Integrity is also involved to becoming a Don Juan. With all the views on what exactly a Don Jaun actually is here, be it player or real man or just a ****y guy who gets frequent action, it all involves doing what you believe is the best for you.

It is true that people of integrity can be placed in a position of weakness against those who would sacrifice their integrity to get ahead. In the end, however, those who are without integrity are giving away more than they can gain back. Those with integrity are both inspiring to those around them in times of prosperity, as well as recipients of sympathy and compassion by those around them in times of recession.

Respect is a direct result from integrity. Giving away your integrity for other benefits (be it financial, sexual or other) might get you something you've wanted greatly, but can cost you the respect and compassion that others would give you.

 

[legolas]

Integrity is very important in life. A guy once said "The richest people in the world seemed to all have two things in common: 1. They all had integrity. They were true to their word.
2. They parked their money, or made it in real estate."

So integrity matters more than simply in relationships.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Nine Breaker
Intergrity can be described as containing three qualities:

1/ Being true to yourself
2/ Never deceiving yourself
3/ Never betraying yourself

When we say "yourself" in those 3 points, we refer to what it is about you that defines your personality, your actions, and your individuality.

interesting view. but are you saying integrity is all about YOU and the way you treat yourself, and not the way you treat others?

are you saying integrity does not play into the way you are to other people?

can one be true to oneself, while betraying another? and still be called a man of integrity?

 

[Nine Breaker]

Originally posted by iqqi
interesting view. but are you saying integrity is all about YOU and the way you treat yourself, and not the way you treat others?

are you saying integrity does not play into the way you are to other people?

can one be true to oneself, while betraying another? and still be called a man of integrity?

Take a look at what I said underneath the 3 points I gave:
"When we say "yourself" in those 3 points, we refer to what it is about you that defines your personality, your actions, and your individuality"

This is something that is often confusing to many. Do not see yourself as nothing more than a mind within a physical body. The skin of your body may be the boundary of your physical form, but it is not the boundary of your whole self.

The people we let into our lives become a part of our lives, hence become a part of what defines who we are. In essence, they are as much a part of "yourself" as you are.

A betrayal of someone we hold important is the same as a betrayal of ourselves. On the other hand, a betrayal of someone we have a valid reason to hate is a confirmation of our integrity. Look at the example of an undercover agent busting a crime syndicate. The agent gains trust, and ultimately betrays that trust in the name of his ideals of justice and peace. There is a betrayal, but the agent has remained true to his own ideals - integrity is maintained.

Integrity is defined by the self. The self is not only defined by you internally, but from the perspectives of you by other people. Indeed, how could you describe yourself as anything at all if there were not others to compare to, and be compared by them. The image of "self" is a matter of perspective. There is the self as seen by you, and the self as seen by each and every person you have contact with. In a way, it is fair to say that there are many different versions of you existing at the same time. However, the collective, totalled view of who you are is where you can find the true extent of your integrity.

Take it easy.

 

[Pulsar]

Great posts Nine Breaker, I've never thought about it quite like that. It does make sense though.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Nine Breaker

The people we let into our lives become a part of our lives, hence become a part of what defines who we are. In essence, they are as much a part of "yourself" as you are.

A betrayal of someone we hold important is the same as a betrayal of ourselves.

this is how i have always felt about it. it seems though like it is rare to find people these days with integrity and respect for others or themselves. maybe they are still growing as a person. i will wish them well!

thanks ninebreaker, very enlightening, and great explanation.