.. Instant Table Turn!

[European-DJ]

I have been dating this girl exclusively for 5 months now.

At start, she would be the one waiting for my textes; she would bend over for me; she would be calling me 5-10 times if i didn't answer right away.... And so on (she was "additec to me").

What happened, all of the sudden, i realised how the tables have turned.
It is no longer her waiting for the texts, it is me. It is no longer her who is doing everything, buying dinners and stuff.. it is me.

Anyone have an explanation on this/articles on this?

I am not so sure about it is because she is seeing somebody else (which i know will be the answer from 90% af you guys).

 

[st_99]

looks to me like she is tired of you. somewhere along the line your game
went to sh!t.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Either way you look at it, you should probably move on. You're 19, the perfect time to experience different women, and what they can offer. don't get too stuck on one, especially if things aren't going the way you expect.

Unfortunately though, this happens with most relationships. Women fall in love very quick, but when the relationship begins to feel "stale" after some months to a year, or they know they've won you over, they mentally move on, put less effort into the relationship, or wait for a better man.

Sometimes it's better to let go, cut ties, and try someone else. Honestly, I don't believe any women is irreplaceable. Just let go because she likely has released her grip on you

 

[exile663dfx]

You answered your own question OP. You're the one doing "everything" buying dinners, texting etc. Somehow, sometime she turned you into the pleaser. Attraction lost my friend. Do you love this girl? Do you kiss the ground she walks on? Do you have your own "life" outside of this relationship? Sit down and re-evaluate what lead to this sort of behavior, then take appropriate action. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for oneitis.

Good luck,
Matt

 

[European-DJ]

Thanks Guys, the answers are very constructive.

I guess i lost touch of my self and my life, my life started to orbit around her insted of my interests. My intensions of starting a web-site have been put away too, since i fell too bussy with her too.

Perhaps i should try to shake off the feelings i have for her, and use her as a FB, while pursuing other women - or should i just leave her for good?

 

[exile663dfx]

Don't burn bridges with women. If she didn't disrespect you in any way that is. Go on and f that once in a while. I'm sure she has hot friends. Heh..

Matt

 

[Diaforetikos]

Leave for good.

And lemme just say this. Your skills with women will get better when you stop living the grey-area lifestyle, and you DECIDE to start living the black-white lifestyle.

Grey-area living means you're not only indecisive, but you don't have many standards and morals. People kinda live your life for you. Stop living that.

When you start saying, "I'm going to do THIS", only then will you see your life going in the direction you want it to. Plus you will see your skills with women improve. This is called living the black-white lifestyle. Your decisions become either THIS or THAT. Not, "maybe I'll try this, and then if not, I'll do this or maybe both." That kind of thinking won't get you anywhere.

SO, in saying all of that, I hope you understand why I say drop her altogether. Either you're with her or you're not. When you see yourself becoming grey area, do some serious thinking and get yourself to one side as quick as possible. Notice the SERIOUS THINKING part.

Good luck.

 

[European-DJ]

Don't burn bridges with women. If she didn't disrespect you in any way that is. Go on and f that once in a while. I'm sure she has hot friends. Heh..

Matt

Yeah, i guess i will keep F'ing her (Since the only reason i still wanna be with her, is the amazing Sexlife we have).

- On the other hand, if i start getting depressed/oneitis'ish, i will dump her without further notice.

As Anti-Dump used to say:
Protect your heart

 

[SamTheHobit]

Lol don't listen to these guys. Carry on the relationship if you wan't. All you have to do is flip the table on her.

 

[European-DJ]

Leave for good.

And lemme just say this. Your skills with women will get better when you stop living the grey-area lifestyle, and you DECIDE to start living the black-white lifestyle.

Grey-area living means you're not only indecisive, but you don't have many standards and morals. People kinda live your life for you. Stop living that.

When you start saying, "I'm going to do THIS", only then will you see your life going in the direction you want it to. Plus you will see your skills with women improve. This is called living the black-white lifestyle. Your decisions become either THIS or THAT. Not, "maybe I'll try this, and then if not, I'll do this or maybe both." That kind of thinking won't get you anywhere.

SO, in saying all of that, I hope you understand why I say drop her altogether. Either you're with her or you're not. When you see yourself becoming grey area, do some serious thinking and get yourself to one side as quick as possible. Notice the SERIOUS THINKING part.

Good luck.

I see what you are trying to say, and i must honestly admit you are right.

Why?

Because i am an ambitious and very intelligent, and could without doubt start and run the website i desire.
The only thing holding me back is this girl, and before her my other GF, and before her my last Gf.

It seems like i am unpleasant while staying alone, i love having someone next to me - a bit of a comfort addict.

I guess the first step to changing, and the first state to getting over this kind of thinking is to dump the girl and move on.
Stay alone for a while, and realise, that you could be fully funcitioning without a girl.


The best thing about this site is, no matter how lost i seem to be, the answers from this board is always eye-opening.

 

[European-DJ]

Lol don't listen to these guys. Carry on the relationship if you wan't. All you have to do is flip the table on her.

The only thing is, i have no clue how.

If i knew, it would be so much easier.

But since i haven't got a clue about this, nexting her would probably be the only right thing to do.

- Am i wrong?

 

[exile663dfx]

The only thing is, i have no clue how.

If i knew, it would be so much easier.

But since i haven't got a clue about this, nexting her would probably be the only right thing to do.

- Am i wrong?

No you ARENT wrong. She changed for a reason don't play her game trying to flip anything. I was in this situation a while back. You're 19 years old, put your best foot forward continue f'in her brains out. Trying to figure out why she's changed puts you in the first stages on oneitis. Keep moving forward ---> not backward. Stop stressin bud.

Matt

 

[SamTheHobit]

The only thing is, i have no clue how.

If i knew, it would be so much easier.

But since i haven't got a clue about this, nexting her would probably be the only right thing to do.

- Am i wrong?

Ok I don't know you so I'm just going to asume here.

First off stop being insecure and jealous this is attraction killer. Next off start showing more confidence and leadership this is like cocain for women. Now I can imagin shes getting bored with you because all you do when together is watch tv.

I'd suggest doing something fun like paintball or rockclimbing get the adrenalin going.

At othertimes shes just not for you lol