Insights into How Women Decide What Messages to Respond to on Dating Sites

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey guys:

I haven't been on here in a few days, mostly 'cause... well, I have some money-making things in the works that are about to pop off this week, so... as they always say, "M.O.B.," maaaaaaan!

Anyway... somehow, in the course of surfing the net this evening I came across a bodybuilding website. Just out of curiosity, I typed in the word "dating" to see if anyone at these sites actually posts up articles about the subject. One of the ones that came up talked about women in dating, specifically as it dealt with online dating.

The main responding girl on there was talking about some of the various guys she either went out with and/or got messages from on POF. At one point, a poster asked her how she went about deciding what messages to respond to vs. deleting with no response. After looking at her answer... well, I know how this site preaches not to listen to any advice women give (I am of the same mindset in general); however, this isn't so much advice given as it is her actual procedures of determining what she'll say yes to vs. rejecting. This may not be every woman's thought process, but between this article and various girl friends of mine who seem to base their online dating response choices on similar things, I figured it would be worth posting here what her answer was.

Enjoy, and post your thoughts below!
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"If a guy is contacting me, I prefer to know that a guy has bothered to look at my profile, so if he mentions something about my profile/about me I am more likely to respond. A compliment is cool, but acknowledgement is better.
‘Spam’ I consider messages like ‘hey’ or ‘how are you?’ because so many people write that.

I have had guys write a page of information, and they instantly get deleted. I'm not saying this about just me, or meaning to sound like a big head, but girls get A LOT of messages, especially when they first register, so I can't be arsed reading through an essay of that guy's life, birth to present day. Basically I like a brief, witty message that shows you've read up on me.
also guys who write something like, 'sorry if I'm not what you're looking for but I had to message you, blah, blah...'WTF??? do you want to spend the rest of your life being walked over? don't apologise for who you are in your first message, be proud of yourself. Us girls are looking for a man, not a mouse.

My favourite message off a guy was, ‘I feel like it! So I’m expecting a reply. Don’t disappoint!’ In reference to my profile, I just wrote ’message me if you feel like it.’ Made me smile, and definitely came across as quite masculine- which I personally like, I had to message him back, after I looked at his profile.

So after the initial great first message I will check out the profile if the message has taken my interest. If the profile isn't filled in, I delete.
Myself and my girlfriends don't like one picture profiles.... especially not self taken pictures done on webcam, just because lots of time can be spent getting 'a good' picture which is much kinder than the reality. So we all like more than one picture, preferably a full length pic in there due to advice and horror stories I hear off my friends I don’t reply to one photo/ no photo profiles. . (but I should also say that topless pictures, come across as being smutty, to some of my friends)

I don’t respond to anyone I know has dated/screwed any of my friends…. Far too awkward and weird, plus some of my girlfriends are extremely territorial over past dates so it’s just easier to ignore these guys from the outset..."

 

[MartyMcFly]

Would not read a woman's profile.
Nothing interesting. Just sling some copypasta.
Done.

 

[firelord]

Women are allergic to awkwardness

 

[incognito42]

In general I don't care what women SAY they want out of a guy. In online dating I really don't care. I never read profiles. There is no bigger time waster for a man in online dating then reading a chicks profile. Here's my procedure...1) at first glance are her pics hot enough that Id put my D in her V...2) spam.....3) if they respond ThEN examine their pics a lil closer and possibly chek out there profile

In the time it would take to read 3-4 profiles I could've spammed 20 chicks. Plus let's say you read all these chicks profiles and craft the "perfect" first message including bits about her profile, etc. You STILL don't know if she's ever gonna respond. So you just wasted valuable time on a chick that had Bo interest

 

[goundra]

uh, if you want to DATE her, dontcha gotta check to see if she lives close enough to you? Personally, I regard all US women as a waste of time and CERTAINLY very hazardous to your bank account and your peace of mind.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

In general I don't care what women SAY they want out of a guy. In online dating I really don't care. I never read profiles. There is no bigger time waster for a man in online dating then reading a chicks profile. Here's my procedure...1) at first glance are her pics hot enough that Id put my D in her V...2) spam.....3) if they respond ThEN examine their pics a lil closer and possibly chek out there profile

In the time it would take to read 3-4 profiles I could've spammed 20 chicks. Plus let's say you read all these chicks profiles and craft the "perfect" first message including bits about her profile, etc. You STILL don't know if she's ever gonna respond. So you just wasted valuable time on a chick that had Bo interest

^^^This^^^

Chicks online will tell you what they like because it suits them and they can use what they tell dudes to do to disqualify them while they do the same crap they don't like dudes doing. Special angles, BSing in their profiles etc. 90% don't contact first. IF they do it's the same BS they claim to hate. Like sending messages that just say "Hi I loved your profile and would like to chat with you soon! =)"

Who has time to read profiles and craft messages based off of them to hope for a reply and meet a red flagged up chick to take seriously for a "Wifey"? ONLINE? LMAO.

Anyone in their right mind knows no one unless they are one of those End of The World nutjobs carries a profile sign on them in real life.

IRL you like the way the person looks and say a normal hello. Only difference is you like the way they look online and send or get responded to based off looks and being a little more creative than just saying hello or hi that becomes spam online when shown 345 times in a chicks inbox.

T1ts, waist, azz, pretty face = spam. Then discuss "profiles" over drinks and cuddling at her or your place.

 

[corrector]

That has to be pure BS.

A woman just looks at the pic of the guy that's responding to her. If a guy is one of the top 5% or 1% that every woman is chasing on there then it's not going to matter what he writes to her, in fact, she'll probably write him first.

That means if you are not in the top 5% category then you have to find a needle in a haystack. Unless you find a woman who also likes you then it's a waste of time on there so you have to spam like crazy and deal with who takes you on.

 

[yyc12]

In general I don't care what women SAY they want out of a guy. In online dating I really don't care. I never read profiles. There is no bigger time waster for a man in online dating then reading a chicks profile. Here's my procedure...1) at first glance are her pics hot enough that Id put my D in her V...2) spam.....3) if they respond ThEN examine their pics a lil closer and possibly chek out there profile

In the time it would take to read 3-4 profiles I could've spammed 20 chicks. Plus let's say you read all these chicks profiles and craft the "perfect" first message including bits about her profile, etc. You STILL don't know if she's ever gonna respond. So you just wasted valuable time on a chick that had Bo interest

^^ and women do this too. Doesn't matter how witty you are or whatever, if they don't like what you look like, it's over. Ain't nobody have time to be reading women's profiles; so much better things to be doing with your time and as others have said, they all sound the same anyway.

 

[nismo-4]

A man's online dating profile is only as strong as his worst picture. I agree with Ninja, Incognito42, and Corrector here.

Case closed. Clear the courtroom.