jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/how-to-get-rid-of-your-insecurities-forever.172968/
Genuine question to ask yourself: What are my insecurities?
This question has significantly helped me identify why I haven't been behaving like a man, and I am now making a concerted effort to address it. Even if you find it difficult, it's essential to work on these insecurities; otherwise, you will focus on the effects rather than the cause. That was what I was and still do. Through introspection, I have discovered my primary insecurity: my height.
At 164 cm, it's challenging to explain my feelings to someone who is of "normal" height or has only a slight deviation from the average. This perspective is something you only gain through personal experience in this body and scenario. From my viewpoint, grappling with this insecurity feels significant. My feelings about my height are not merely aesthetic; it's not just that I'm short and dislike my appearance. In fact, I appreciate my looks; I have a good face, a solid physique, and favorable proportions. However, it's my height that makes me feel less like a man and influences my behavior.
The predominant feelings I experience daily include a sense of inferiority, particularly towards taller men. My mind tricks me into believing that I am incapable of standing my ground.
To combat this, I have consistently trained in boxing and martial arts.
The real downside is that I struggle to feel secure in my body. Despite having the skills to deliver a punch or execute impressive MMA techniques, my raw strength is insufficient to overpower a larger person. It feels akin to a wolf facing a hippopotamus; nature seems to suggest that I should avoid confrontation.
This limitation is deeply ingrained in my psyche. I understand that in modern society, physical fights are rare, yet the instinctual need to feel "stronger" than the average person persists. This feeling is what makes you secure in your ability to protect your loved ones.
Now I understand why I act a certain way: this deep-seated insecurity manifests in my social interactions. It often reflects in subtle behavioral cues such as weak body language, fear of confrontation, and excessive deference to others. It feels as if I need to behave like a submissive dog, fearing that if I were aggressive, someone could easily overpower me.
To make my behavior more masculine—such as adopting strong body language, being assertive, controlling my emotions, and embodying a more manly demeanor—I am essentially changing my behavior due to this deep-rooted insecurity. However, I am not addressing the cause but rather the effect. This can "mask" my feelings and make me feel more masculine, while, in reality, I am not.
It's challenging to work on the cause because it's fixed:
1) A physical attribute I cannot change (though I can change my perspective) — Limited
2) A deeply rooted societal bias towards men (though I can change my perspective) — Limited
So, what can be done about it?
ps: For years, I thought my insecurity was based on the belief that "women like taller men," or that "short men are disgusting," or something similar. Even if this is true to a certain extent, for mainstream society, it doesn't affect me as much now that I've come to understand the real issue with being short. It’s not just about not being "attractive" to some women (external validation); it’s about not feeling manly, strong, and safe (internal validation), like I've explained above.
Genuine question to ask yourself: What are my insecurities?
This question has significantly helped me identify why I haven't been behaving like a man, and I am now making a concerted effort to address it. Even if you find it difficult, it's essential to work on these insecurities; otherwise, you will focus on the effects rather than the cause. That was what I was and still do. Through introspection, I have discovered my primary insecurity: my height.
At 164 cm, it's challenging to explain my feelings to someone who is of "normal" height or has only a slight deviation from the average. This perspective is something you only gain through personal experience in this body and scenario. From my viewpoint, grappling with this insecurity feels significant. My feelings about my height are not merely aesthetic; it's not just that I'm short and dislike my appearance. In fact, I appreciate my looks; I have a good face, a solid physique, and favorable proportions. However, it's my height that makes me feel less like a man and influences my behavior.
The predominant feelings I experience daily include a sense of inferiority, particularly towards taller men. My mind tricks me into believing that I am incapable of standing my ground.
To combat this, I have consistently trained in boxing and martial arts.
The real downside is that I struggle to feel secure in my body. Despite having the skills to deliver a punch or execute impressive MMA techniques, my raw strength is insufficient to overpower a larger person. It feels akin to a wolf facing a hippopotamus; nature seems to suggest that I should avoid confrontation.
This limitation is deeply ingrained in my psyche. I understand that in modern society, physical fights are rare, yet the instinctual need to feel "stronger" than the average person persists. This feeling is what makes you secure in your ability to protect your loved ones.
Now I understand why I act a certain way: this deep-seated insecurity manifests in my social interactions. It often reflects in subtle behavioral cues such as weak body language, fear of confrontation, and excessive deference to others. It feels as if I need to behave like a submissive dog, fearing that if I were aggressive, someone could easily overpower me.
To make my behavior more masculine—such as adopting strong body language, being assertive, controlling my emotions, and embodying a more manly demeanor—I am essentially changing my behavior due to this deep-rooted insecurity. However, I am not addressing the cause but rather the effect. This can "mask" my feelings and make me feel more masculine, while, in reality, I am not.
It's challenging to work on the cause because it's fixed:
1) A physical attribute I cannot change (though I can change my perspective) — Limited
2) A deeply rooted societal bias towards men (though I can change my perspective) — Limited
So, what can be done about it?
ps: For years, I thought my insecurity was based on the belief that "women like taller men," or that "short men are disgusting," or something similar. Even if this is true to a certain extent, for mainstream society, it doesn't affect me as much now that I've come to understand the real issue with being short. It’s not just about not being "attractive" to some women (external validation); it’s about not feeling manly, strong, and safe (internal validation), like I've explained above.
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