Insecurity issues

[JohnElDonJuan]

Hi everyone

I have a question what do you do when people intentionally try to make you look bad by using an insecurity(that i may or may not be insecure about) as a weapon against you I'll give some examples

There was this one girl HB-8 mixed girl at my job, you can say she is a member there. Her friend, a (warpig)WP -5, kept smiling at me the whole time while I was working, I smiled back out of politeness. The hb-8 noticed and whispered something in here ear about me but in a way the warpig couldn't see me so while she was whispering I gave the HB deep eye contact and that intrigued her so we talked for like 3 min. Then she says something about my height(im 5'6" but built like a mutha-****a, weighing in an impressive 150 pounds 9% bodyfat) I'm not insecure about my height but the comment came so unexpected I had no reply-thus appearing insecure.

The problem I have when people give a classic one like this is if I try to go on and act like it was nothing they still think it got to me when it really didn't but if I try to play them they won and I lost to her little mind game

Another one: people use my virginity as a severe insecurity. I think they are guys that see me as a potential threat when it comes to women(I used to not be insecure about it but now that people repeatedly talk about it & bring it up to put me down it eventually became one over a period of a year)

I think the best thing for me to do is to lie and set them straight about who I am to get alittle respect...

Sorry for the long story but I just wanted to help yall out by showing my scenario with alittle background info so yall can understand where I'm comin from. I want answers out of experience if possible I don't want that ignore kids like that because I heard enough of that bs in the 1st grade and it never worked, EVER.

 

[Julian]

Why do you care so much what this dumb ass b1tch you talked to for 3 min thinks? She can accept you for your stature or she cant, its up to her.

Dont worry about it man, if your confident with yourself other people will be too.

 

[JohnElDonJuan]

yeah true that man thanks for the short, simple and effective wake up call. After thinking about it I still have a long ways to go when it comes to this self improvement part of the DJ system. Too bad having confidence is not like riding a bike because I had it a while ago but it faded away.

 

[GropeDope]

I've been in multiple situations similar to what John wrote above about *****es and *******s who use a common insecurity to make you look bad. I usually try to ignore them and don't respond, but it comes back hours later and bothers the **** out of me as well.

Since we're on the whole height issue, I think I'll take this time to point something out. Maybe I just suck at using this forum's search engine, but it seems like there aren't enough threads on here that thoroughly exmaine DJing vs being short.

When I say short, I'm not talking about you bitc*y bastards who complain about being 5'8" instead of six feet. I'm the one that is short. I'm an incredible 5'5" tall, though pretty built (145 lbs and like 15 - 17% body fat), but I can honestly say that even if I put on 25 more pounds of lean muscle all over my body, my height would still be bothering the **** out of me. Yet why do I feel the need to bulk up when taller guys who look like weak little chumps are getting plenty of action? My height is a major ****ing insecurity for me..I'm not gonna lie about that. I often let this "weakness" restrict who I approach (along with when).

Speaking of approaching, out of the small number of HBs I've approached, to the even smaller amount I've actually managed to hook up with, majority have been 5'3" and under, with the exception of only one who was the same height as me. She was an HB 7 and I wanted to have an LTR with her so ****ing badly, but upon officially asking her, she admitted that she couldn't find herself feeling "secure enough" with me. I took that as a nicer way of her saying, "you'd have to be a lot taller to be my BF, but it's okay for us to ****." It wasn't a total loss though because I got to bang her a couple times. Enough rambling though.

I can sit here and give you guys a whole list of misconceptions and problems I have with height that keep me locked at an AFC level and far from becoming a DJ, but I'm sure you guys have heard a lot of them before. If I have to, I will. Some of the things I've read in the DJ bible and other posts in general on here have been somewhat motivational, but when it comes down to macking on the girls I really want a chance with (they're usually my same height or 2-3 inches taller), I fall flat on my damn face.

I did a search for threads dealing with height, and I found this 2 month old one http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?threadid=31211&perpage=20 but all it does is validates the assumptions I've always had about women and height.

Judging by the responses I read on there, I don't think there are enough members on the forum who can truly understand where I'm coming from/relate to the problems that guys as short as me have with females and confidence in general.

I know my attitude sounds like complete ****, but you've got to take into consideration the amount of bull**** people think they can get away with on me, and the sense of dominance they have cause they're taller.

There's got to be some solution to this **** though. Now that I'm living in a dorm as a freshman in college, I need the answers now more than ever. My goal before this year is up is not only to feel confident enough to approach an HB (at least a 7) that is several inches taller than me, but to lay her as well.

 

[JohnElDonJuan]

Yo whatsup grope dope I feel your pain. I never really looked at height before as an insecurity but as I realize it has been working against me all this time without me noticing but still there are a few people that I know that are our height and get plenty of women. What do they do that (we?) don't? first of all they have a GREAT reputation, second they are ****ier(extremely) than a mug and third one of them had a killer sense of humor. I don't know about you but I'm none of these maybe I should wisen up and try to be more like these people in my own way but I can't act ****y since I ain't funny and this is my last year of HS so practically no time to improve my reputation. The only way I can do that is if I make some bold lies and back them up 100% then lay on the ****iness gradually while working on my humor.(watching comic view seem to work pretty well by itself)