"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Insecure women

becker

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You would think that insecure women would be more prone to be receptive to AFC men, but it doesn't seem to work that way. Has anyone ever experienced otherwise?

To me, an insecure girl who is actually HOT is not really as insecure as she might say she is, whereas if it is a fat, ugly insecure girl, there is likely to be genuine insecurity there.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Lifeforce

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Why can't a hot chick be insecure?

This only proves that attraction is not based on confidence.
 

becker

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A hot girl can be insecure, but I think in general, most know they are hot because they are approached by guys all the time. I mean, that's enough validation. Imagine if you are the type of guy who has women swarming you all the time. Despite whatever negative self-image you may have of yourself, it is balanced by the fact that you're getting positive reinforcement by society. True, that you may be self-conscious still, but that's not always the same as insecurity since deep down, you know that you're not some troll, because if you were, you'd be getting no attention whatsoever. Imagine the pencil-necked geek who gets no attention no matter how charming he may be.
 

Lifeforce

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Insecurity does not have to be based on looks you know. People can have insecurities about their looks even with validation like that. Maybe you feel all the people are tricked into liking you or something. Hot girls can be insecure and lack confidence.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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becker

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Sure, but I think it's a large part of it. It's such a social thing. If you've been successful with women all your life, you'll probably pretty secure, whereas if you haven't been, it's more difficult to be. Good looking guys will have girls fawning over them, that's the way it works, especially when you're young. The boys are on one side of the room, and the girls on the other, none of them are brave enough to talk to the other, so looks play a big role, at least image if not looks.

Anyways, I'd say that in general good looks = more successful past = less insecurity. Of course, that's sort of an overgeneralization, but an observation nevertheless. The less good looking guys who seem to be confident probably are the ones that need alcohol in their systems to achieve that, and even then, they have the danger of bouncing to AFC mode at any second.

From a guy who doesn't drink but talks to a ton of women randomly, I can tell you right now, that most of my friends who are good looking aren't genuinely confident, but they can sure put up a pretty good act when they have alcohol in their systems. Problem is that they are deep-seated AFCs at heart and it comes out often.
 
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