Innuendo Issues

[Leopold]

Being very motivated by Nismo's latest thread I decided to improve on escalating specially with innuendos.

I must say that English is not my native language even tho I'm a fluently speaker (I do lack some knowledge in synonyms and such). I do however have a great imagination but my innuendos come to my mind like... 5 minutes later after the conversation is done or topic has changed.

Ex: I work on grocery store on produce section. This HB6.5 comes at me with low interest asking me. "... Where are the Italian Sausages?" I started teasing her but in a very disinterested tone ... *waving with my hands to the surrounding veggies and fruits* " Does it look like we sell meat here? ". This kind of gave her a little spark but I just directed her to someone from the meat department.

After analyzing this briefly after I was done talking with her... It came to my mind that I should had replied in this way.

HB6.5: Where are the Italian sausages?
Leo: I'm sorry I'm not Italian ( GREAT INNUENDO!!!)

:/ I feel hopeless since I cant think in the moment for these great innuendos. Is there any references or anything to help me out there? I have the attitude and confidence but I'm failing at escalating. How can I fix this?

 

[Mike32ct]

I use this one...

"Its not the SIZE of the <blank>, it's the <blank>.

Examples

HB: That's a big tv screen.

Mike: Yeah but it's not the size <pause> of the screen, but the resolution <smirk>.


HB: Those are small oranges.

Mike: It's not the SIZE of the oranges, but how sweet they taste.

But anyway, it's just practice. More innuendos will come (no pun intended lol) to you as you use them more and your brain gets trained to look for them.

 

[TheMale]

mike i didnt get these innuendos ... can you explain it please !

to answer your question, like mike said, the more you practice the more you get it.
you can start right away by imagine some situations and try to find some innuendos.

 

[Mike32ct]

It's a p@nis reference. It's a parody of the saying "It's not the size of your d@ck, it's what you do with it.

It doesn't come across well in text. But verbally, chicks get it and will giggle if you pause in the middle (or stress the word size) and deliver it playfully.

Plus it can be used when you hear two commonly used words: big or small.

It works best on some hottie that probably IS hung up on size (ie most of them). Remember the best humor is based on truth.

It's not the best example, but the first to come to mind. I've used it here and there.