Inner Struggles: Confusion of Lust

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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1 - Introduction

I hope you are all used to the upbeat, encouraging and motivating tone that I adopt in my posts.
You have no idea of how much it has gotten better! :cool:

But this time, I'm going to be harsh, because the subject it's harsh, and it comes to us filled with pain and delusion.

The Confusion of Lust, is the reason why many of us, and I dare say that 75% of people came to this site.
Because they were infatuated with a certain girl. And wanted to know how to get her.

Confusion of Lust is the reason why we feel sad, depressed, lonely and needy, desperate, the motivation for us to abandon our own dignity for a "love".

If you guys are familiar with my "Chase the Sun" post, that is a snapshot of a guy suffering from Confusion of Lust.

2 - Definition

As we reach our adolescence, most of us aren't blessed with open-minded, caring parents, and are most normally living in a repressed, societal-conforming family environment.
So, we are not taught by our parents nor our teachers, the changes we are suffering psichologically.
They stick to the physical changes hoping that that is enough.

But, they don't care to clarify, maybe because they can't clarify too, the basic difference between love and lust.

When you love someone, when you care for someone, it is an emotion.
It is spiritual, it's a warm feeling that we have for people who are important to us... we love our parents, we love our brothers and sisters, we love our friends.
And sometimes, we love a special girl.

But, this love, is one who's a sincere and kind display of affection, trust and care for an individual.
We love the trees, the Mother Nature. Some people love dogs, other cats.

Love, as it says in the dictionary, is a "predisposition to wish good things for someone or something".

I don't want to get into an argument about the nature of love, because that is far beyond my literacy.

But, many people agree with me... love, doesn't not NECESSARILY,
involve SEX.

A priest loves God, a monk loves Budda, my friend loves dogs, Junior loves the color orange, Mary loves chocolate, I love my sister, she loves my father, and there it goes on and on, a lot of Love, but nothing SEXUAL.

So, I love my friends... I love my female friends... heck, sometimes you can even love your friends' girlfriends...

Because the love I'm trying to explain is not sexual... and that is what we have to learn.
There are many religions who do not allow sex before marriage, and the couples love each other... they don't need to have a sexual intercourse to validate their love... love is greater than any human action.

So, as long as you don't f*cking understand it, as long as you don't f*cking see it with your own eyes, this concept of love, you're doomed to be a moron, AFC geek, who'll always feel sh!tty about himself and live depressed, sad and lonely !!

3 - Lust

Lust, a.k.a. sexual or physical attraction, it's more of an instinct.
When we see a potential female, things go crazy inside of us, because we feel the need to mate and to f*ck, so our species can survive.
Perpetuate the species.
Lust, is printed on our DNA's. Love probably isn't.

When I see Gisele Bundchen, I lust. Well, when everybody see her, everydoy lusts.
When Joe sees Pamela Anderson, he lusts.
When you see Jessica's boobs, you lust, the same way Bob lusts over Cindy's round a$$.

Us, as males, lust over any hot,beautiful females that are presented to us in a determined environment.

But, maybe because of society, maybe because of evolution, we do not lust over the women of our family... that's why incest is so bizarre... You don't get a hard on from seeing your mom taking a shower, that's sick.

And, for matters of respect, you don't lust over your friends's mothers, or other close relatives, even though there are some exceptions to that rule.

Lust indicates that you desire to f*ck a certain female.

4 - Love x Lust

Let me use some examples to express the differences:

a-) You can, and you probably do, really really love your mother. She's the woman who gave you life and cleaned your butt when you couldn't stand up.
But, it is a very gross, sick and disturbing thing if you actually lust for your old woman. If you want to f*ck her. That's very very sick and sad.

I guess there are no incest-maniacs around here.. for god's sake.

b-) We all have that too fat, or too thin, or too weird looking female friend, which we wouldn't f*ck even if we the fate of the world depended on it, even if you were drunk, smoked, stoned
and about to die.
We never have and never will lust for them. Your d!ck just don't feel anything for her... but, you can love her to the bones... she can be sweet, nice, cook you, listen to you, and introduce you to all of her hot friends... you love her, she's your best friend, she's like a sister for you... but NO D!CK FOR HER !!

5 - Conclusion

So, what seems so obvious, is generally forgotten...
When we see a hot chick, that we lust for, we think we're enloved...
But we're not !!

True Love is reciprocal !!
You love your family, your friends, the trees, chiuauas and chocolate truffles because they love you too, or they have given you good feelings.

Lust, does not imply any emotional envolvment... you can f*ck a babe and still hate her personality...

So, whenever you find yourself "in love" with some girl, ask yourself some questions:

How much emotional investment has she put in you?
Do you all have a history together? Does she know your parent's name? Or even your full name??
Is she really there for you? If your family is out of town, and you suddenly start to feel ill, can you call her? Will she rush to your house and take you to a doctor?

Think about it...

Lust is instantenous. When you see a girl, you know if you'd f*ck her or not.
Love, takes time, time with the person and time alone.

Love is blind. Because if you are blind, you can't know if the girl is hot or not... but your relationship can determine if you love her or if you don't... it's a sad but true metaphor...

And there's more !!

Love is always growing, always becoming prettier and stronger... love is bigger than distance and time !!

You don't stop loving your family and your friends when you go away from them... if you meet 50 new people, you still stop and think about how you love your real friends and your family.

With lust, there isn't such attachment. You lust for every hot babes in sight. If you can trade HB1 for HB2, because HB2 is willing to f*ck with you right now, you will !!

6 - The Curse of the Nice Guy

Yeah, Confusion of Lust is the curse of the nice guy. Because a nice guy confuses the lust he feels, with a love that is too small and underdeveloped.

So, he takes "his" love, and use it as an excuse for the girl to feel sorry for him and hand him her pu$$y.
But that sh!t will never happen. Probably, because she never lusted for him... she only saw him as a nice, caring FRIEND.

And there it goes, another depression, feeling sad, unable to eat or sleep correctly, punching the walls and overdosing with 80's hard rock ballads.

And, not enough becoming a piece of human sh!t with no dignity himself, he's more than happy to pour that bad,sad and depressed vibe on his friends, and specially on the girl he loves.

And this is sick! It's a shame, a man who abandons his self-worth and dignity and becomes and animal, a miserable creature.

Why?

Because he can't separate love from lust.

7 - The Lesson

When you lust over a girl, you want to f*ck her. There's no reason for denying that.
But, you must have the following things in your mind:

- If she's not attracted to you, that's over. No pu$$y from her to you. Yeah, it's bad, her boobs look delicious, but you'll never nail. It's life. Get over it.

- If she is, you'll eventually get her.
Sometimes, you'll have to make an emotional investment. Sometimes she will make an emotional investment.
But please, PLEASE, do not mistake this for LOVE.
It is liking. It is caring. But never LOVE.

Some women will create a bond with you because they don't feel safe handing their pu$$y to a stranger... but, keep that in my mind, that hardly ever she'll love you, even if she tells you, she probably doesn't know better.

So, you might even like her and enjoy her pu$$y, but PLEASE, do not think you're in love.

8 - The Afterwards

When you know the difference, you no longer feel desperate.
You feel free. Free.
Because you're now in charge of your heart. You know that, if it really is LOVE that you want, you'll have to find an attractive female, and start to create a bond with her... through a relationship, with time !!

Yes, it will take you longer to accomplish that, but, when you do, it will be true. You won't be mistaken, because you know better.

And when you see a HB, and you lust for her, you'll know better too. You'll that if she goes away, or if she does not find you attractive, you'll just next her and search another hottie.
Because you too have no bond. It's just sexual desire.

9 - The Lies

Well, it is often said to me, that love is something above everything, and the roads of love and lust are always crossing each other. It couldn't be much more truth. So, maybe, in the long road, you'll find it that everything I said here are lies, or too inaccurate... but if you do, it will be a delightful surprise... and, you'll know better, before feeling bad about some girl. Knowing what I just said, you'll hardly ever be disapointed, because you'll be more prepared for things.
 

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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10 - The Beggining

Well, now, I hope I shed the light on you. It's hard to see, to admit, to accept and to try to change it.
But, when you do, it will be a new begging.
It will give you an easiness and a new confidence with women which will bring you a lot of success.

Because you see the bigger picture. You know that things are just roads you have to take, to eventually reach your goal.

So, success won't be a matter of possibility.
It will be a matter of time.

Feel free to argue with me, ask questions and clarify things. I admit this is kinda confused, but I did my best to spark the changes in your minds

Much love and joy

BBB
 

Boricua_33015

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awesome post man! I really love your posts. They are always set with the right tone that fits perfectly.

I have to admit, back when I was a lost AFC (now im just an AFC) the first thing I had to realize that I don't LOVE my one-itis, I just want to f*ck her so bad and me not being able to just makes me want it even worse. Thanks to this site and posters like you I am now FREE!

lol, keep em coming! Im lovin it!
 

TeflonDon

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that was fvckin great...really got me thinking...
 

Smooth as Anything

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I liked it, well done.
 

kevbo

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how can you put your thoughts down this well? i try, but it comes out sounding stupid to me. i suppose i'll just have to keep trying 'till i get it right. excellent job, as expected!
 

Boono11

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Awsome post. BBB, you know what, I love you man. What can i say? I'm gonna shut up now.:D
 

Drow

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BBB, right on! This post hits it on the nail. I needed this clarification.. Love and lust should be seperate. When I lust for a girl (for her body), I will often mix that up with a form of love.. and if I get to know her and I don't like her personality or whatever I disqualify her. Not to say thats bad.. but I just had some wierd misconception in my head. Hard to detail it in words.. :)

Anyways.. great post as usual, and this really helped me alot.

Take care.

Drow
 

Wont Stop Mackin

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Yes even i liked it =).

You seem to understand a lot about..... A lot.

Your thoughts have helped me gather mine, seeing as how yours are written and mine are still in my head.

Thank you for strengthening my beliefs, and thoughts as well.

Couldnt agree with you more...

And another thing i liked it is that you did acknowledge love, and there can be actualy love, without the sex...

And your questions made me think about my girlfriend, at first it was lust as we grow it balances out between lust and love, she does know my parents names, but i dont know if she would be there for me at all times.
 

Mikelo2k

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Indeed a very nice post, I often thought that I was 'in love' when i see a really hot chick, but then i know it CANT BE love, since i dont even know her, i just want a piece of that ass :D And even if she was a b!tch or a slut, i'd still fvck her hard and then leave lol.
 

Hot Ice

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Good post my man.
Really good analyzation.

Every newbie should read this piece!
 

aBAzLLnA

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ah, clarification for the ones out there that judge by appearance...thankyou for taking the time to post this for the help of others :)


sorry, its kinda late too, could u just pump out ur main points?
 

Brazilian_Blues_Boy

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Originally posted by aBAzLLnA
ah, clarification for the ones out there that judge by appearance...thankyou for taking the time to post this for the help of others :)


sorry, its kinda late too, could u just pump out ur main points?
Altough I'm still struggling to understand your first sentence, I'll clear my main point:

Love is love.
Lust is lust.
When we think we love, and we actually lust,
We suffer. Badly.

I couldn't be any more laconian than this.

BBB
 

The Antichrist_Star

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I mean come on... do I really have to say how great you are BBB.

;)

The Matrix: Revolution™
 

El Campeon 56

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Excellent work on this post. I think many of us need to focus on putting together a post of this caliber about a topic that pertains to being a Don Juan. Some might say so much is areadyl in the bible, but the issues that BBB refers to are there as well, he simply took a different look at them and gave us better insight.
 

aBAzLLnA

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haha, yeah rereading my first sentence, i have no ****in clue what im trying to say.

anyway, good points, people tend to mix up lust and love...
and hell its hard as hell to figure out if u actually love heror if ur just physically attracted to her.

and

figuring out if its her personality that intrugues you or ur sexual thoughts and her physical appearance that intrigues you.

truly hard to differentiate.

~ivan
 
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