Inner Game

[steve_erkle]

Well fellas, the members on this forum stress that inner game is MUCH more important than outer game, yet I see so many posts about outer game and only a few on inner.

I just want to know how you built inner game . Somedays my inner game is good, sometimes not.. How did you do it?

 

[Jokerlsk]

Happiness, man. You have to be happy with yourself, and content with what you have. You have to love what you are. If you love who you are then you have confidence. Inner game isn't just applied with girls. It's a mind set. You have it, or you don't. You can attain it by becoming content with yourself.

 

[EnriTT]

^2nd.

I'm following DD's inner game program. when I'm done i will have gotten rid of all my
insicurities and negative spycocholical preconditioning i've been subject for the
past few years that really fvcked up my head.

it's really a state of mind with little regards on dataing. it's your whole foundation.

 

[mfd1830]

I spent a long time just reading every article and ebook possible; and while I understood and believed in most of the concepts, it wasn't until I started to push my own comfort levels, in all aspects of my life, that things started to click. I believe now that if I had read none of this stuff but had been pushing myself to do everything that made me nervous or scared, that I would have reached the same inner-state.

I don't believe you can be confident just by understanding and believing in why you should be; it only starts to work when you work on yourself in practical ways in your every day life.

What I did was right down every single thing I could think of that I could never see myself doing and even though it was scary as **** at first, as long as I forced myself to do it, anything started to seem possible. Then I started to embody all the DJ principles without even realizing it.

 

[alnite]

Inner game does not mean you meditate everyday and telling yourself you are a DJ. It's about being a happy, well-rounded, and energetic person that everybody wants to be with. You know that guy who seems to be able to do everything? He plays piano, draws, manages his coworkers, sporty, surfs, boxes, has great sense of style, and social? Yeah, that person is the inner you.

1. Step outside of your comfort zone. Whatever it is that you haven't done before, do it. A lot of people are afraid of failures, you shouldn't.
2. Fix your insecurities. Are you fat and it affects your confidence? Exercise!
3. Learn from your past, strive to get better everyday.
4. Have fun. Laugh at your success and failure.

 

[steve_erkle]

I spent a long time just reading every article and ebook possible; and while I understood and believed in most of the concepts, it wasn't until I started to push my own comfort levels, in all aspects of my life, that things started to click. I believe now that if I had read none of this stuff but had been pushing myself to do everything that made me nervous or scared, that I would have reached the same inner-state.

I don't believe you can be confident just by understanding and believing in why you should be; it only starts to work when you work on yourself in practical ways in your every day life.

What I did was right down every single thing I could think of that I could never see myself doing and even though it was scary as **** at first, as long as I forced myself to do it, anything started to seem possible. Then I started to embody all the DJ principles without even realizing it.

What do you mean by things you could never see yourself doing? Like in social situations?

 

[mfd1830]

Not just social situations, but everything in my life. I let my fear accumulate over the years until I was backed in a corner and didn't do anything that had any risk. I never went to bars or clubs, but then I forced myself to go alone. I always wanted to play guitar but I was too nervous to take lessons; but I just forced myself and now I'm actually good. I just did everything I could think of that I wanted to do but my brain stopped me from doing.

My goal with all that had nothing to do with girls and everything to do with making myself happy. Now I'm a total natural with girls. I don't have any techniques or strategies. It's still scary to approach them but I force my body to go and everything from that point on just comes out right. Doing things for myself turned me into a totally sincere and honest person. I have nothing to hide and have no fear of screwing up because I know I can learn from mistakes and improve.

Girls love that kind of attitude because it's a never-ending challenge to them. They can't knock me off my game because I'm not gaming them. By constantly getting out of my comfort zone I've become fearless. I say and do all the right things without even trying or realizing it.

 

[steve_erkle]

Not just social situations, but everything in my life. I let my fear accumulate over the years until I was backed in a corner and didn't do anything that had any risk. I never went to bars or clubs, but then I forced myself to go alone. I always wanted to play guitar but I was too nervous to take lessons; but I just forced myself and now I'm actually good. I just did everything I could think of that I wanted to do but my brain stopped me from doing.

My goal with all that had nothing to do with girls and everything to do with making myself happy. Now I'm a total natural with girls. I don't have any techniques or strategies. It's still scary to approach them but I force my body to go and everything from that point on just comes out right. Doing things for myself turned me into a totally sincere and honest person. I have nothing to hide and have no fear of screwing up because I know I can learn from mistakes and improve.

Girls love that kind of attitude because it's a never-ending challenge to them. They can't knock me off my game because I'm not gaming them. By constantly getting out of my comfort zone I've become fearless. I say and do all the right things without even trying or realizing it.

yeah man, i think i'm a step ahead of many people on this site, with the fact that i'm doing this for myself and not to get girls.

I'm also like you in the sense that I don't use any techniques or the rest of that b.s. I'm just myself, which is natural and smooth when my inner game is tight, but other times i just dont feel right- I don't feel like myself.

I know that i've got to do exactly what you said- do the things i want to do... I just have to find out what those things are. I have started practicing guitar a lot which is good, and I think i want to take some sort of MMA or related training. Also, i've started running a lot which i've been wanting to do for some time... I guess I've got to do some deep thinking and find out what else I want to do..

 

[War Against Betaism]

A common misconception about Inner Game is that it can be developed in an instant. This couldn't be anymore wrong, like how it takes a body builder years to build his body, it takes years to build a really fortified and strong Inner game. I haven't read the entire thread but I saw the word comfort level being thrown out there a couple times. Going out of your comfort zone is like developing your Inner game like how weights builds muscle. I've came a long way from being probably the epitome definition of AFC. I had a bestfriend who was so down for me, he would put me over girls all the time and I would try to get at the girls HE was getting at. I was socially awkward, very rude, and defended myself in a way that escalated into fights. One of my friends that I met during a period when I started transforming told me straight up "hey War, I swear it is like watching my kid grow up, I'm proud of you!" he said it in a joking manner but I could tell he was serious.

 

[mfd1830]

You can't be your best self all the time, but as long as you push through and keep doing what got you there, the amount of times you're not "on your game" will be more few and far between.

My old reaction to things not going well was to get depressed and pity myself but now I've developed to the point where my first reaction is to assess what happened, what "I" did wrong and how I can correct that and be better in the future. It takes alot patience but the reward is so worth it.

 

[Young Juan]

Be comfortable in your own skin. Everybody has flaws. The serenity prayer says it best, (Abridged) "Change things I can, accept what I can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference." I know its a cliche, but its true.

The specifics of Inner game are different to each indivual, but I'll use another cliche, "if you build it, they will come."

Personally, my inner game lies in the fact that no matter what girl turns me down/flakes on me/plays/disses me, whatever etc. In my mind, I'm still one of the dopest lyricist of all time, I'm one of the youngest executives in a Fortune 100 company, I'm a shoe-in for MBA school once I do my GMATs, and I continue to accomplish the majority of the goals I've set for myself, almost on a subconscious level. I set goals, I know the goals, but I don't think about them and next thing I know I'm like, "Damn, I've always wanted to do that! Check that one off the list."

It takes time, but I knew I was there when I would could turn down pvssy, not come ons, but women who actually said to me "What would you say if I told you I wanted to Fvck you?" and "You have no idea what I'd do to you." I knew I was there when I started not going to the club on Saturday nights, had no pvssy lined up, but would rather prepare myself for the studio time I had set up on Sunday morning.

It was at that point, that I was truly comfortable in my own skin, win, lose, or draw I was going to "do me."

 

[steve_erkle]

Hmm.. I tryed going into deep thought and writing down some things that scare me that I want to... and nothing obvious came to mind :yawn:

There was a few, like dancing in front of a lot of people, and making the move on a girl when the moment's right.. but thats about it. :crazy:

What am I missing here guys?

My guitar playing is kind of helping my confidence rise.. as i get better i feel better about myself.. but i don't want to rely on that to feel good about myself. I just feel like there's something I'm missing.

 

[mfd1830]

For me, the list of "major fears" was just a starting point. It didn't take long for me to do or start to do everything on my list. After that I turned to the little things; all the little errands and mini-projects that I kept putting off because "I can do them any time I want". Well, if not now then when? Doing all that stuff everyday helped to create within myself both an active, anti-lazy attitude as well as a propensity to live in the moment.

It's hard to really get into this kind of stuff, it's so unique to each person, but for me I began to see all the qualities that I wanted to possess (assertiveness, spontanaeity, etc.) and how doing little things consistently every day (always finishing errands, doing what needed to be done right when I thought of it) would help mold this part of me.

For me it only works when it's indirect and practical. So when I realized that I wanted to be spontaneous. My first thought was to do something drastic, like run down the street naked or something and while that might be interesting, it's not going to shape me. It's just something crazy I did. You need to almost brainwash yourself. Repitition of the actions of a spontaneous person is what I needed. I realized that spontaneous people live in the moment. Why? Because they've got their day to day life under-control and can truly look at the world as it's happening, instead of being in a constant state of reflection due to having too much on their mind.

So I guess my advice now is for you to list all of the qualities that you want to possess and then observe people that are like this. You have to observe really closely because every action of their's is a reflection of their personality. Then just copy them. As you start to do the things they do, you'll see how you'll need to alter certain things slightly to fit the uniqueness of you and/or come up with new things. After doing that for a long ass time it became really easy for me to come up with practical, repeatable actions without having to observe anybody.

 

[Idkmyname]

You have to be...content with what you have.

Although I agree with your happiness statement I completely disagree with this quote. If you're content with what you already have why bother trying for anything else?

I Don't know it might just be me, but I'm always trying to have more things may it be knowledge or just random useless items like cars or fancy clothes. I guess I'm materialistic and I know not everyone is.

Edit: I forgot to mention that even though I'm not content with what I have I still have game. It's pretty bad when you forget to include the whole point of your post.

 

[steve_erkle]

For me, the list of "major fears" was just a starting point. It didn't take long for me to do or start to do everything on my list. After that I turned to the little things; all the little errands and mini-projects that I kept putting off because "I can do them any time I want". Well, if not now then when? Doing all that stuff everyday helped to create within myself both an active, anti-lazy attitude as well as a propensity to live in the moment.

It's hard to really get into this kind of stuff, it's so unique to each person, but for me I began to see all the qualities that I wanted to possess (assertiveness, spontanaeity, etc.) and how doing little things consistently every day (always finishing errands, doing what needed to be done right when I thought of it) would help mold this part of me.

For me it only works when it's indirect and practical. So when I realized that I wanted to be spontaneous. My first thought was to do something drastic, like run down the street naked or something and while that might be interesting, it's not going to shape me. It's just something crazy I did. You need to almost brainwash yourself. Repitition of the actions of a spontaneous person is what I needed. I realized that spontaneous people live in the moment. Why? Because they've got their day to day life under-control and can truly look at the world as it's happening, instead of being in a constant state of reflection due to having too much on their mind.

So I guess my advice now is for you to list all of the qualities that you want to possess and then observe people that are like this. You have to observe really closely because every action of their's is a reflection of their personality. Then just copy them. As you start to do the things they do, you'll see how you'll need to alter certain things slightly to fit the uniqueness of you and/or come up with new things. After doing that for a long ass time it became really easy for me to come up with practical, repeatable actions without having to observe anybody.

Hahah, funny you should mention running down the street naked, because i did that recently to "push my comfort zone"
Like you said, I didn't experience any change.

 

[jacob]

Inner game= gratitude=contentment=antidote to depression=confidence=inner game.

http://zenit.org/article-24371?l=english

 

[steve_erkle]

Inner game= gratitude=contentment=antidote to depression=confidence=inner game.

http://zenit.org/article-24371?l=english

Dude, I'll admit that I didn't read that whole thing but what I'm getting from it is that inner game comes from other people doing nice things for you? Thats relying on other people to determine your happiness... I don't believe in that. What if nobody did anything good for you?

 

[jacob]

Dude, I'll admit that I didn't read that whole thing but what I'm getting from it is that inner game comes from other people doing nice things for you? Thats relying on other people to determine your happiness... I don't believe in that. What if nobody did anything good for you?

Nah it's not just what a human person does for you, but also what the Person of God Almighty provides to you daily for sustenance. If nobody did anything good for you then think about the things you have like your five senses, food, housing, and even if you strike out on a date be grateful you had one. Article probably wasn't the best in explaining it.

 

[steve_erkle]

Nah it's not just what a human person does for you, but also what the Person of God Almighty provides to you daily for sustenance. If nobody did anything good for you then think about the things you have like your five senses, food, housing, and even if you strike out on a date be grateful you had one. Article probably wasn't the best in explaining it.

Eh, I'm not really into religion so that wouldn't really work for me.