inner game issues... its hard seeing myself as a man!

[RU18QT?]

Well honestly a girl who i've been friends with for along time i hag out with quiet a bit, i see her as a great friend and honestly at this time is all i feel for her. Anyway she comes out with me bowling with some friends.... i invited one of her friends too who is recently broken up from a LTR. We go out bowling had a wicked time, all of us go back to my friends house, we plan true or dare janga, ended up swapping clothes with bff girl. We end up watching a movie, one of my douche bag friends starts making out with the recent LTR broke up *****... and my bff girl ends up snuggling with one of my friends. I am not pissed off seriously they could have sex and i would not care(i dont think she'd hook up with him anyways but still).... it just the fact that say we are watching a movie together she will turn away from me but yet she see my friend as someone to cuddle with. I value my friendship with her and I would really hate to see it end over something so stupid as this but seriously how can I see myself as a man when i see her act so differently with my friend then she acts with me??? I know she cares for me alot as a friend, i walked home from her house, she cared enough to make sure i had a winter jacket and was warm enough for the walk (even lent me clothes)

I definatly realize how attraction works and I am not trying to get in her pants it just hurts my ego that she wont show affection to me but will to someone she doesn't know. It has nothing to do with anyone else but it just has to do with my inner game/ego... how do you guys deal with something like that??

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Bro...you need to get seriously REAL about your feelings toward this girl. Sounds like you're being a lil bit of a p*ssy yourself. If you honestly just see her as a close friend and as a girl that you aren't trying to get with, than it wouldn't matter if she was snuggling up with me, this other guy, or Bill Clinton.

But your jealously in what she is doing is blatant and is total opposite of what you state in your post. You have one-itis for this girl. You are jealous that she's truely LJBF you, and have shown interest in another guy. You are trying to salvage hope of her liking you by reading into little things like her giving you warm clothes to wear when its cold. Umm bro..doesn't your mama do that for you too?

It hurts your ego because you deep down you want to be with this girl, but, calling her a friend or buddy eases the pain from the realization that you want her and she doesn't want you. Bro...just man up. If it truely is platonic...what did you expect her to do when she's attracted to another guy? Feel sorry for you? She's digging another guy. You even said yourself that she's just a friend. If she's just your 'friend', be happy for her, get your own life, and stop watching movies as the 3rd wheel and start asking other girls out.

My guess is that you really dig this girl and you're in denial. In either event, I think it is time that you made new friends. Leave her alone for a bit. Work on yourself and your innergame. Workout, hit the gym, learn how to dance, go to new parties, meet new people, open your social networks...keep busy. Do things that build and create character. Stop relying on this bff to pamper your ego. Be an independant man.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Right, and girls like that just sort of make you feel that way. It's time to dismiss this girl and pretend she never existed. It will take between 6 - 18 months and after that time she'll be out of your mind, but the longer you delay the longer the recovery will take.

So, understand - she doesn't want you - she rejected you - you need a woman who will make you feel like a man not like a little boy that's being strung along while she goes after 'real' mean.

That's why accepting friendzones is more like the Treaty of Versalles between Germany and the other Allied countries of World War 1 - just like a bad treaty from a defeated country that serves no benefit to you, but all the benfit to the other party other than your right to exist (as her friend) - which isn't worth much under those terms.

 

[MrGold]

Can't let lil stuff like that get to you. Theres plentya girls out there dont concentrate ur efforts on one thats not complying.

 

[Chaotixxx]

LMAO You were sitting there and all your friends were around you were gettin action. Never happened to me personally but it must suck.

Honestly I think you need to evaluate who your REAL friends are and not just people you keep around for comfort, people who inevitably end up using you.

Girls you are sexually attracted to, and not getting any from generally don't make good friends. Neither does your "douche bag" friend. There have been a few times I turned down ass, because I knew it would put my friend in an awkward situation.

These are examples of some of the "toxic" people that others talk about. Remove yourself from these people, and surround yourself with true friends who care for you, and want to see you being the best person you can be.