"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Inner Game and Other Questions

Hullothere

Don Juan
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By now, I've been around long enough to believe that inner game is probably the one most important thing to be strong at in terms of success in life and women. I've read enough of the PUA material to probably give the right answer 95% of the time to any situation that rises up. Once you get the general theme of whats taught, it isn't too hard. The thing I sometimes struggle with is inner game though which coincidentally I think is the hardest.

Do you guys have any tips on how to identify what you are personifying or how to improve on this aspect in your life?

I am an analytical person by nature, which comes off to other people as quiet. I have tons of confidence and am well respected by other men/women as well. A lot of the PUA stuff focuses on putting yourself out there and being the center of social attention. This is great and it's obvious that it works, but unfortunately that is just not me. I like listening and thinking more then speaking. I am still funny, witty, and a good conversationalist when I do talk. However, like I said its not the funnest thing in the world for me. For example, I fly every week for work and almost never talk to the person sitting next to me. It's not because I am scared or nervous, its because I enjoy the alone time more. I figure that once I say something to that person or bring up a conversation, 95% of the time that person will want to talk the whole flight. I'd rather be reading my book or do some introspection on my goals and life.

So with this type of personality in mind, is there a better way to be acting around girls when I go out on the wknds?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Hullothere

Don Juan
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I also wonder if people like me just use this as a crutch saying being extroverted just 'isn't me'. I still remember a quote from a partner at my work during our training (who i assume is a reformed introvert) that 'life is much better being an extrovert'.
 

Nexus Polaris

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You nailed it with your second post. It always "isn't you" in the beginning. Your first post sounded like something I would have said a few years ago.

You also sound like you need to get better at asserting yourself. You can chat with somebody sitting next to you on a plane for 5 minutes without being obligated to talk to them for the whole flight.

"Inner game" is really almost the total package. Without it, you really have nothing. Tips, tricks, and techniques are no more than 10% of it at the very most. I highly recommend Tyler Durden's Real Social Dynamics programs. They helped me more than anything else in this entire community (except for maybe the DJ Bible). They go into elaborate detail about how to permanently change your mental perceptions of things and ultimately become an attractive person rather than just trying to mimic attractive behavior patterns.

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/

There's a free 2 hour audio download on there that's well worth the time.


There are also some clips and snippets floating around on Youtube to give you a better idea of what the programs are like:

How Not to Give a Damn:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpf1RTn_s5k


Myths About Looks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apEoEbyIEO8&feature=related


Being the Selector:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkiruUqMnMo&feature=related
 
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