"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Injured shoulder - anybody got experience?

Tortendieb

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Hi guys, I was playing paintball some 6 week ago and dove straigt in the dirt, landing on my shoulder HARD. It hurt like hell, but after 2 minutes I could continue playing. Some days later I had no pain anymore, though the shoulder would feel sore every now and then.

I practice Karate at least 2x a week, and the shoulder felt OK so I continued training. Now 3 weeks ago I practiced on my own, not warming up properly (stupid :() and ripping off a pretty hard overhead block. It strains the shoulder and right there I felt a horrible pain! Again, after a day it mostly disappeared and I continued with my training, I had some tournaments coming up and thought it'd just go away.

Well, now after the tournaments are over I realized I still have strange, light pain with random movements, and often it feels like something is moving inside the shoulder (feels like when you crack your knuckles). I still got full strength and mobility, just random pain every now and then.

I went to the doc yesterday, and says I got a strained rotator cuff and it's not too serious. Now she gave me an anti-inflammatory, and if the pain doesn't disappear i should get physiotherapy.

Now I've rested the arm for a whole week, and I still have that strange feeling, as if something is grinding, or plopping around. Feels like something is mechanically wrong, not just muscle. Will an antiinflammatory really do anything here? Doc doesn't seem to be worried, but I think if I resume training it will just go bad again? Anybody had a similar injury before?

Maybe I should try and find a specialist, but need referral from the doc who says it's fine...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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speed dawg

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It's all about the pain, that's what the doctor will tell you. If it hurts, something is wrong. Take a few days to a week off, take the anti-inflammatory, put ice on it, and don't test it. If you're pain free after that, SLOWLY ease back into your normal activities.

Be smart about it.
 

element0

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I have a similar problem I got playing hockey. I have a minor strain every once in a while, then it goes away after a day or two. If I strain it really bad I take a few weeks off from doing anything. It's been especially bad since I started playing baseball again.

I have a friend who is a physical therapist who told me it was either a rotator cuff problem or shoulder sublaxation.

I've been using resistance bands (suggested by my PT friend) to ease back into any type of workouts, and to strengthen my shoulder. I don't trust my shoulder when lifting any type of free weights at this point.
 

Tortendieb

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Hm thanks for your comments guys! Now thing is I have full strength and everything so I don't need strengthening exercises... but yeah I'm on day 3 of the antiinflammatory and it's already feeling better. Gonna skip another week of training, then take 1 physio session and ask how to proceed.

The only thing I'm worried about is that it's not gonna heal and I'm wasting time by not getting additional treatment?
 

element0

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Tortendieb said:
Hm thanks for your comments guys! Now thing is I have full strength and everything so I don't need strengthening exercises... but yeah I'm on day 3 of the antiinflammatory and it's already feeling better. Gonna skip another week of training, then take 1 physio session and ask how to proceed.

The only thing I'm worried about is that it's not gonna heal and I'm wasting time by not getting additional treatment?
That's the risk you take when you don't know what is actually wrong. I know that even a torn rotator cuff, which is probably worst case scenario, is capable of being rehabbed without surgery.

I actually had a major setback this week, and I'm unsure if I'm gonna continue playing baseball, because I have pain everytime I swing the bat. So I guess it depends if you are doing something that is constantly taxing on your shoulder. I know swinging a baseball bat is extremely painful, but I can make it through 10 hockey games without a problem.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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