Initiating eye contact?

[lloyd_bank$]

I have read many posts and articles on this site about first making eye contact with a girl, seeing if she smiles or whatever, before you approach.

Well, here's the problem - anywhere I go, I try to make eye contact with girls, but none of them even look at me. This is everywhere - walking in the street, at uni and at clubs I go to. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I wouldn't consider myself especially ugly. But girls just won't make eye contact with me, so an initial approach is very difficult.

When I'm in a club this is especially the case, as my 2 best mates I usually go with are very good looking, and get lots of girls staring at them, its like I'm invisible! Even when we see girls we've known from before, they will talk to my friends and ignore me! It's literally like I'm not there. I'm quite shy anyway, and can never think of anything to say to enter these conversations.

Is there anything I can do to make myself more noticeable in clubs, so some girls might actually look at me??!! I feel like a ghost!!!

 

[carbani]

It's really not about your look. It's about the posture!

I noticed that I get more eye contact when I just don't care. When I say to myself: "Oh, **** it, today I won't care" and dress worse than everyday I most often get EC. That's because of confidence I get.

Do this: stand up and imagine that you've got a cape behind you. You know - a one like those that kings wear. Now walk over your room with that cape! Go outside and take a walk with that cape. That helped me a lot

The other thing - when you notice a girl. Look at her! Not to get EC, but to admire how great she looks. Take your time, marvel her beauty. That will make you feel good, that will make her feel good, even if there will be no EC.

 

[Spyderguard]

Posture is definitely important, but I've also found that there's a bit of a supernatural element to this as well. Next time you walk into a club (or anywhere for that matter), go in totally believing that you're some rock star. I believe everybody has a sort of sixth sense, and your energy will somehow get people's attention. There's something about your "presence" when you believe strongly enough how VIP you are. So purge that "I'm a ghost" mentality because it'll become self-fulfilling.

Look "about" rather than "at" things - always calmly scanning the enviroment instead of fixating too much on things. When you purposely look past a really hot babe and act like there's something else a lot more interesting somewhere near them, they will usually try to bring your attention to themselves. Often times, this leads to the girl trying to establish EC with you, and all you have to do is look back (and maybe give a little smirk).

 

[drmeathead]

act as though it were impossible to fail. look em in the eye fully expecting them to look back AND smile. have the same attitude you take when teaching a dog to stay. you tell it stay and walk away fully expecting it to be there.

 

[lloyd_bank$]

Originally posted by drmeathead
act as though it were impossible to fail. look em in the eye fully expecting them to look back AND smile.

Ye, I do this, but no girls ever look back

The other thing - when you notice a girl. Look at her! Not to get EC, but to admire how great she looks. Take your time, marvel her beauty. That will make you feel good, that will make her feel good, even if there will be no EC.

This doesn't make me feel good, it makes me feel worse because a girl won't even acknowledge me!

When you purposely look past a really hot babe and act like there's something else a lot more interesting somewhere near them, they will usually try to bring your attention to themselves.

Yes but they have to notice that me for this to work - no girls ever do! When there are other people giving them attention, then why would they care if I'm not?

 

[Spyderguard]

Originally posted by lloyd_bank$
Yes but they have to notice that me for this to work - no girls ever do! When there are other people giving them attention, then why would they care if I'm not?

I think how you dress also has a lot to do with the initial attention grabbing. Accessorizing a bit might actually help you get your foot in the door. Wear something catchy and cool, but make sure it's congruent with your overall personality - i.e. you don't want to look pretentious.