I am a confident person. I have some experience, probably less than average for my age, but I know how to talk to people and I'm generally good at getting people to open up to me. I've had people call me social and charismatic, even had friends be jealous of my skills socially.
However, all of it relies solely on being in a situation where it seems acceptable to talk to a person, and being in this situation repeatedly.
It seems unacceptable to me to approach someone in a situation where I'm likely not going to see that person again, or if that situation does not seem conducive to conversation. I'm in my 4th year at a university, and I've never made a friend by having a class with them.
It seems creepy to me to ask someone for their phone number if you've only known them for a short time. Even if I did get it, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I rarely call the people I've known for years unless I have a specific excuse to do so.
I'm almost completely reliant on a situation where I will be forced to see the other person on a regular basis, and therefore have an excuse to get to know them. Otherwise, I feel like I have to force something or work some sort of angle to have a casual conversation with someone. If someone comes up to me when I don't feel like I'm in a situation that calls for it, I usually get defensive.
The only improvements I've managed to make in this area are at house parties and when I go out drinking (or do something else social) with a group of people, but don't really know the whole group. I'll make an effort to learn everyone's name (I don't usually go to house parties with more than 10 people, I get uncomfortable) and talk to them for at least a minute or two. At bars, I'll only talk to the people I went out with unless I run into someone I know or I absolutely have to talk to someone else.
Even if I try to force myself into social situations, I rarely feel comfortable unless I have someone there to fall back on. I used to play in a basketball rec league, and there would be days where we'd play a full game and I'd only say a few words.
There's a couple cute girls in my classes that I've talked to a few times, but the conversation hasn't really ventured off the topics of class or situational things. I'd like to get to know them better, but I don't know how to go about doing so without seeming creepy.
I know I can be a confident, social person. What I'd like to know how to do is be able to create, on my own, that reason or excuse I need to talk to someone I've never talked to, or bring that conversation to a more personal level without coming off as a creep.
However, all of it relies solely on being in a situation where it seems acceptable to talk to a person, and being in this situation repeatedly.
It seems unacceptable to me to approach someone in a situation where I'm likely not going to see that person again, or if that situation does not seem conducive to conversation. I'm in my 4th year at a university, and I've never made a friend by having a class with them.
It seems creepy to me to ask someone for their phone number if you've only known them for a short time. Even if I did get it, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I rarely call the people I've known for years unless I have a specific excuse to do so.
I'm almost completely reliant on a situation where I will be forced to see the other person on a regular basis, and therefore have an excuse to get to know them. Otherwise, I feel like I have to force something or work some sort of angle to have a casual conversation with someone. If someone comes up to me when I don't feel like I'm in a situation that calls for it, I usually get defensive.
The only improvements I've managed to make in this area are at house parties and when I go out drinking (or do something else social) with a group of people, but don't really know the whole group. I'll make an effort to learn everyone's name (I don't usually go to house parties with more than 10 people, I get uncomfortable) and talk to them for at least a minute or two. At bars, I'll only talk to the people I went out with unless I run into someone I know or I absolutely have to talk to someone else.
Even if I try to force myself into social situations, I rarely feel comfortable unless I have someone there to fall back on. I used to play in a basketball rec league, and there would be days where we'd play a full game and I'd only say a few words.
There's a couple cute girls in my classes that I've talked to a few times, but the conversation hasn't really ventured off the topics of class or situational things. I'd like to get to know them better, but I don't know how to go about doing so without seeming creepy.
I know I can be a confident, social person. What I'd like to know how to do is be able to create, on my own, that reason or excuse I need to talk to someone I've never talked to, or bring that conversation to a more personal level without coming off as a creep.