****ing Oneitis rears its ugly head

[Wubbman]

Does anyone every get oneitis really bad? I have noticed the beginning stages twice in the past week. It just seems like I get very easily attached to girls.

First, I went on a date Saturday night with a cousin of one of my friend's girlfriend. We had dinner. After the date was over and I was driving home I was surprised how much I missed her and thought about her. Today, I asked a girl in my ROTC class on a date (she said her sister was coming over that night, which I believe). I was cool about, but later I couldn't get over how much I was swooning for her.

Does this **** ever happen to anyone else? Its like I get too ****ing attached. I realize the danger in it and try to control it, but I still can't get over how easily I give my heart to some girls.

 

[Wyldfire]

Read this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=63971

 

[johnny_chase]

Hmm, yah, i know what you're talking about. These girls eh...

What i usually do is give myself a break, like a day at least so i can recompose my head, get it on straight. There's nothing wrong with getting attatched imho, just not getting obsessed, that's the key. If it's happening after one date, these chicks must be pretty intense.

Try to control yourself. When you feel a thought hit you, take a deep breath and clear it out. go to the gym, do some pushups, whatever. Keep yourself occupied

Just remember the 4-c's: Calm, confident, classy, and comfort.

 

[Wubbman]

Originally posted by johnny_chase
Hmm, yah, i know what you're talking about. These girls eh...

What i usually do is give myself a break, like a day at least so i can recompose my head, get it on straight. There's nothing wrong with getting attatched imho, just not getting obsessed, that's the key. If it's happening after one date, these chicks must be pretty intense.

Try to control yourself. When you feel a thought hit you, take a deep breath and clear it out. go to the gym, do some pushups, whatever. Keep yourself occupied

Just remember the 4-c's: Calm, confident, classy, and comfort.

No man, thats just the thing, they're not very intense. Granted, they are both very nice and attractive girls, but the world does not turn for them.

 

[Wubbman]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Read this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=63971

**** me....

 

[Broham]

For me personally, I don't get full-fledged oneitis anymore thank God. What does happen to me, though, is that I get very impatient when things aren't going my way. This usually means I'm not getting into bed with the girl fast enough, so I begin to question my moves instead of hers. I like to think I'm doing everything perfectly so I get a perfect result. Unfortunately, I sometimes end up getting burned. I think alot of guys here are in my boat, they don't necessarily get obsessed with a particular girl, but instead with their own actions. I also tend to get pissed easily when a girl flakes, not b/c "she's this wonderful goddess", but b/c I've worked so hard to improve my game and that pullling in ho's should be easy. Best advice to give: Don't be like me, be patient. I'm done ranting.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Wubbman
**** me....

Did that help you pull yourself together?

 

[Bilogomja]

yea, dont worry, s*** happens, every guy gets some form of attatchment to some chicks. To neutralize it you have to do it slowly, when you see a girl you want you gotta realize theres other chicks out there and that every chick is replaceable, not irreplaceable.

heres a good tip on oneitis, its pretty much the same thing I said but goes more indepth...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=59160

good luck

 

[Wubbman]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Did that help you pull yourself together?

Yes, but I saw a lot of my own tendancies in that post and becoming obssesed with a girl is something I definately want to do without.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Wubbman
Yes, but I saw a lot of my own tendancies in that post and becoming obssesed with a girl is something I definately want to do without.

Print that list out and keep it on the wall beside your bed or wherever it is you are most likely to start obsessing over a girl...and read it often.

A lot of the newer guys who come to this site sound much like the description in the list. The first step to overcoming those tendencies is to recognize them and catch yourself when you start to do those things.

I'm glad it helped...

 

[eecumstains]

i tend to fall hard and fast

i think it is genetic in some people and in the old days would have been a good survival trait

-- you could form strong bonds easily leading to more stable family structures and a better environ to raise children

now, however, it blows up in your face

just recognize and learn to slow down when you feel it coming on