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infidelity...if cheating is human nature...

Don Ronny

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It is a control thing. It's also an ego thing. Get used to it because all guys are like this, and the ones that aren't are repressed time-bombs waiting to go off.

A man is only as faithful as his options!
 

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princelydeeds

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Originally posted by Don Ronny

Polygamists, on the other hand, have higher levels of testosterone. They are a little more animalistic than the "cuddlers" and get their high off sexual conquest.

Wow I think this explains me completely. I have no desire to be faithful. My greatest thrill is tapping a piece of new tail. Honestly, after i bang a broad 5 or 6 times I get bored, unless shes a superstar. I've tried to be faithful, I've tried to curb my habits but no where inside me is the desire to be monogamous. The only thing that sets me on fire is sum fine young piece of new tail!!!

I think it is a conquest thing.
 

princelydeeds

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duplicate
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Originally posted by iqqi
i have seen too many men who are completely whipped by their girlfriends, who still cheat on her. and alot of them are applauded by their boys. is it a control thing? by having ones cake, and eating it too, is it a control thing? i don't get it, why men do this so much.

and women too. its like they are trying to gain control, and not be played, but really they are just becoming easy.
It's not so much about control as it is about doubt or a keen understanding of one's own conditions and subconsciously or deliberately acting on them in an effort for change.

My personal theory on personality psychology is that each of us is uniquely aware of our own conditions. One manifestation of this is if we're in a bad relationship, we know it and our behaviors will betray this inspite of what we try to convince ourselves. Both men and women can allow themselves to be defeated in a personal relationship, but eventually the need to escape it will become evident in their actions.

Any social reinforcement for infidelity from 'the boys' (and girls more often I would argue in the case of women) is understandable when our peers have an objective view of what we're involved in, the mental denial of our conditions and the resultant behavior that is motivated by the actual conditions.

The reason I feel that doubt plays into this is there tends to be an amount of uncertainty in situations where one partner is disloyal to the other. Women will throw the ONEitis card into this and doubt whether her choice of mate was the ONE for her and men will follow this to an extent, but it's more about unresolved doubt in their choice to commit to a lifetime of sexual exclusivity with a partner that may have become less passionate in her own doubt or unrecognized expectations in the relationship.

I should also note the awareness of a condition of entitlement in both sexes. When a couple marries or LTR commits to a relationship before there has been a meeting of personal desires this tends to be the cause for infidelity. The easiest ilustration is when a couple marries too young and later one partner feels entitled to 'cheat' because throughout his/her 20's their single friends seem to be experiencing things that they were never given the opportunity to, infidelity occurs. That's not about control or a power play, it's doubting ones choices (whether founded or not) and combining this with a sense of loss and entitlement to things 'missed out' on.

I should also mention that I've recently become aware of a show on the Style channel called 'Diary of an Affair', which basically amounts to the retelling of various peoples affairs in a Reality TV format. Cheap titilation to say the least, but if you watch the show in the right context it's a fascinating study on just this topic. Most responses to the affair from both partners are almost predictable once the show gives you the personal backgrounds and conditions present during their marriage.
 
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