I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
So I meet this girl (very smart, successful, 8 or 9 in looks) and do my natural ****y and funny a lot and have sex (GREAT) with her and she wants a relationship. She says she adores me and whatever and things are going fine for a month.
She's a very "in your face" type girl (while still being nice) who claims she's very confident in who she is. She says she needs a guy who is alpha and will make her "obey."
She gets very busy with work (she worked 7 days in a row including 5 days of 12 hour shifts) for 2 weeks so I don't see her, but she calls me nearly every day so I take this as still high interest. She'd call before going to work "just to touch base." Now, I'm not the greatest phone conversationalist for whatever reason (good in person and on IM), so I fear I might have bored her in that way.
But anyway, I go to her place the night before we were to roadtrip, and we hang out like normal and she comes to me for kisses all day and she falls asleep on my chest while watching a movie. Then she wakes up and maybe 15 minutes later turns to me and says we can't date anymore. She ends up with some tears in her eyes that she keeps in check and doesn't let come out. She goes into a little bit of detail how she thinks "we don't think the same way." I'm in shock as this comes out of no where and I slip into some AFC and try to disagree with her points but she'll have none of it but admits maybe she's wrong about it and that we got too serious too fast and there's too much pressure on me since she says she doesn't think I'm "acting like myself." I should have just bailed to begin with as soon as she started pulling that bull.
So I figure fine, not that big of a deal. We'll be friends. Instead of our road trip she goes to another state to visit her mom for the week, saying we'd talk later.
I call her maybe 10 days later. She doesn't answer but 10 minutes later she calls me back real quick. I take this as a good sign. We end up in a discussion about why we're not going to date and she explains what she meant by "not thinking the same way." She says that what she meant was that she knows who she is and how she acts and needs someone who thinks the same way of himself. Her major point is that "you care too much what other people think." This is a shock to me, and my friends and I had a good laugh over it later because I definitely don't give off that aura normally, quite the opposite actually, but still it irritates me that she thinks she can judge me like that.
She's very critical and has no problems with telling you if something she percieves as wrong with you or that she doesn't like your actions. I really have no problem with this, but she thinks I do and she'd "eat me alive" if we keep on dating even though she likes me in every other way, but we'd never last "long term" since her critical attitude would end making me hate her. She ends up very irritated at me that I'd object to her opinions of me and we get off the phone. She's a VERY smart girl, but actually thinks she's smarter than she is and thinks she can judge people really fast and constantly tells you what she thinks. She actually thinks she's too much for me to handle, which is pure bull. We're still supposed to have communication open and still hang out and stuff.
So I figure the next course of action is just to let it go. I'm pretty sure she'll end up calling me. She really was soooo into me before this. The question is how am I supposed to respond to this girl when she calls again assuming I want her to get this DOWNRIGHT WRONG idea of me out of her head? (guess i'm proving my point by caring what she thinks, eh? screw that)
She once sent me an email that said:
"You have to be very authoritative with me. I'm like a wild animal. If
you show you're the alpha, then you have my respect and "obedience". If
not, then I'll run, dragging you behind me with your hand caught in the
leash..."
I'm thinking let her call me and I blow her off. I want to turn the tables on her and be disapproving of her and act like I don't give a f*ck instead of this silly idea of me where i can't be myself because i care too much what she thinks or whatever she made up. I've seen both sides of her where she'll be all confrontational and *****y and the other side of her which will be a little frightened girl and call me and be like "are you mad at me?"
I was thinking of saying to her when she calls, "I really don't want to put up with your judgmental bull**** right now... you really REALLY don't know me for sh*t... Call me some other time. Maybe i'll be in a better mood." I'm hoping this will send her reeling not expecting me to be so forceful with her (the understanding/caring approach Men are from Mars crap hasn't worked with her before). I think I made the mistake of trying to tiptoe around her crap so she wouldn't "not like me" so instead of treating her like I do everyone else i was trying to watch my mouth instead of calling her bull****. I need to get back to the basics of being myself and stop being taken aback by a girl who is so confrontational.
I AM currently talking to a few other girls and letting her be on the back burner to see if i can turn things around with her. I'd like to at LEAST use her as an experiment of how to deal with these "headstrong" and opinionated chicks, even if I can't end up back with her, so please don't tell me just to forget it and next her.
So anyway, when she calls, what should I say?
Thanks.
So I meet this girl (very smart, successful, 8 or 9 in looks) and do my natural ****y and funny a lot and have sex (GREAT) with her and she wants a relationship. She says she adores me and whatever and things are going fine for a month.
She's a very "in your face" type girl (while still being nice) who claims she's very confident in who she is. She says she needs a guy who is alpha and will make her "obey."
She gets very busy with work (she worked 7 days in a row including 5 days of 12 hour shifts) for 2 weeks so I don't see her, but she calls me nearly every day so I take this as still high interest. She'd call before going to work "just to touch base." Now, I'm not the greatest phone conversationalist for whatever reason (good in person and on IM), so I fear I might have bored her in that way.
But anyway, I go to her place the night before we were to roadtrip, and we hang out like normal and she comes to me for kisses all day and she falls asleep on my chest while watching a movie. Then she wakes up and maybe 15 minutes later turns to me and says we can't date anymore. She ends up with some tears in her eyes that she keeps in check and doesn't let come out. She goes into a little bit of detail how she thinks "we don't think the same way." I'm in shock as this comes out of no where and I slip into some AFC and try to disagree with her points but she'll have none of it but admits maybe she's wrong about it and that we got too serious too fast and there's too much pressure on me since she says she doesn't think I'm "acting like myself." I should have just bailed to begin with as soon as she started pulling that bull.
So I figure fine, not that big of a deal. We'll be friends. Instead of our road trip she goes to another state to visit her mom for the week, saying we'd talk later.
I call her maybe 10 days later. She doesn't answer but 10 minutes later she calls me back real quick. I take this as a good sign. We end up in a discussion about why we're not going to date and she explains what she meant by "not thinking the same way." She says that what she meant was that she knows who she is and how she acts and needs someone who thinks the same way of himself. Her major point is that "you care too much what other people think." This is a shock to me, and my friends and I had a good laugh over it later because I definitely don't give off that aura normally, quite the opposite actually, but still it irritates me that she thinks she can judge me like that.
She's very critical and has no problems with telling you if something she percieves as wrong with you or that she doesn't like your actions. I really have no problem with this, but she thinks I do and she'd "eat me alive" if we keep on dating even though she likes me in every other way, but we'd never last "long term" since her critical attitude would end making me hate her. She ends up very irritated at me that I'd object to her opinions of me and we get off the phone. She's a VERY smart girl, but actually thinks she's smarter than she is and thinks she can judge people really fast and constantly tells you what she thinks. She actually thinks she's too much for me to handle, which is pure bull. We're still supposed to have communication open and still hang out and stuff.
So I figure the next course of action is just to let it go. I'm pretty sure she'll end up calling me. She really was soooo into me before this. The question is how am I supposed to respond to this girl when she calls again assuming I want her to get this DOWNRIGHT WRONG idea of me out of her head? (guess i'm proving my point by caring what she thinks, eh? screw that)
She once sent me an email that said:
"You have to be very authoritative with me. I'm like a wild animal. If
you show you're the alpha, then you have my respect and "obedience". If
not, then I'll run, dragging you behind me with your hand caught in the
leash..."
I'm thinking let her call me and I blow her off. I want to turn the tables on her and be disapproving of her and act like I don't give a f*ck instead of this silly idea of me where i can't be myself because i care too much what she thinks or whatever she made up. I've seen both sides of her where she'll be all confrontational and *****y and the other side of her which will be a little frightened girl and call me and be like "are you mad at me?"
I was thinking of saying to her when she calls, "I really don't want to put up with your judgmental bull**** right now... you really REALLY don't know me for sh*t... Call me some other time. Maybe i'll be in a better mood." I'm hoping this will send her reeling not expecting me to be so forceful with her (the understanding/caring approach Men are from Mars crap hasn't worked with her before). I think I made the mistake of trying to tiptoe around her crap so she wouldn't "not like me" so instead of treating her like I do everyone else i was trying to watch my mouth instead of calling her bull****. I need to get back to the basics of being myself and stop being taken aback by a girl who is so confrontational.
I AM currently talking to a few other girls and letting her be on the back burner to see if i can turn things around with her. I'd like to at LEAST use her as an experiment of how to deal with these "headstrong" and opinionated chicks, even if I can't end up back with her, so please don't tell me just to forget it and next her.
So anyway, when she calls, what should I say?
Thanks.
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