Increased Heartrate

[Dirtheart]

I have noticed that my biggest restriction in getting close to women I like is that every time I get close to them my heartrate speeds up and I can't stop myself getting tense.

Normally I'm very cool, secure and laidback, but the moment I'm in a situation where I'm chatting up a woman, getting intimate or even if she's showing all the affection, I lose my composure, say dumb things and act very nervous.

Anyone got any advice for maintaining one's composure in these situations?

 

[diablo]

I had the same problem until I realized through the help of one of the articles in the Bible that the only difference between talking to a HB and talking to my best friend was in my mind. Something that might help you is picturing that girl as being your best friend from years back who you haven't seen in quite some time. You should find yourself being more relaxed and not so "what does she think about the way I'm talking/acting/looking/etc".

 

[ToP DoN]

smoke pot

itll calm u down...jp...just be kewl man...see her as an ugly ass biatch

 

[Dirtheart]

Thanks. I'll give those suggestions a try. Well, except the pot as it messes me up pretty bad and I've just spent the last few months trying to give up.

 

[diablo]

Ignore his posts, he's not quite in his right mind. Either that, or he's still back in kindergarten.

Have you looked through the first week's exercises of the bible yet? I made a thread not too long ago that I was going to keep a record of my BC experience in - perhaps you should do the same?

 

[smooth666]

Increased heartrate is a sign of fear.

I agree you should pratice in small steps (boot camp exercises, casual convos with female friends you are not into...). A way to relax might also be to tell yourself that you are not talking to the girls to pick her up, but to have a nice chat. Once you get used to it,it will get better.

It really depends on your state. Do not go out to attract women when you do not feel good or if something else is worrying you additionally.
When I am in a cool-bastard-killer-mood, my pulse does not get above 60 bpm. But as a rule it is slightly elevated,which I would consider normal.

 

[gav]

1. imagine u are the great catch. ask: what would the great catch do? - this is very hard to do if u aren't feeling good about ureself

2. imagine them just waking up from their sleep - i reckon that everyone after they've just woken up looks like sh!t, including hbs

3. DON'T fight the nervousness. accept it. just say "ok, fair enough, i'm nervous and that's just the way it's gonna be"

hope it helps, gav

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

Bruce knows best!

Your problem is fear of rejection, or possibly the fear of success.
Either way, you should read the DJ Bible all the way through once again.

To master your fear, you must first master your own mind.

"Tao of Jeet Kune Do"

"Know the emptyness and tranquillity of your mind.
Be empty."

"The mind is originally without activity; the way is always without thought. To understand the actual requires awareness, an alert and totally free mind. "

"Effort within the mind further limits the mind, because effort implies struggle towards a goal and when you have a goal, a purpose, an end in view, you have placed a limit on the mind."

"Absence of thought as the doctrine means not to be carried away by thought in the process of thought, not to be defiled by external objects, to be in thought yet devoid of thought."

"Non-attachment as the foundation is man's origional nature. In its ordinary process, thought moves forward without halting; past, present and future thoughts continue as an unbroken chain."

-- Bruce Lee

 

[gentleman193]

cheaper more effective treatment

Magnesium. Non addictive, won't fukk up your head. It does the same thing as valium, slows you down. Add alpha-lipoic acid for an even strong effect. Both are natural anxiolytics. This stuff is cheap and also legal, of course. Or try kava. They all work. Or try all three and tell us what happens ;-)

On the other hand, if you want to feel like you're on cocaine, and have the confidence of that kind of rush, try something called Alive! Whole Food Energizer. It's a multi-vitamin, but when I take it I can talk to any chick, however hot. I think maybe it's the amino acids that are dopaminergic (stimulate dopamine receptors, like cocaine). You will crash the next day, though, so be forewarned.

 

[ScrewIt]

nnervous = fear of unknown outcome

just think about it, all the times u talked to girls that were

A. Ugly
B. not interested in

you were ok talking to them right??

when it came down to a girl you were interested in, you get nervous easily. why?? well thats how it is sometimes.

just think of her as another boy or being ugly, maybe it might help?