Inconsistant Behavior = Low IL?

[skinnydart]

Is low IL usually behind inconsistant behavior?

Like sometimes when I call this girl that I've gone out with a few times, she'll see me on the caller id and pick up sounding excited to hear from me, we'll chat for 10 min or so about all kinds of sh1t and then I'll set the date.

And then before some dates that we have scheduled she'll call and give some bs exuse why she can't make it (like she was asked to work late), and then the very next weekend when I ask her she'll be like "yeah, that'll be fun!" and the date goes totally awesome. I mean if I have a date and I'm asked or even told to work late, I don't care, I'm telling my boss, "nope, I'm leaving at 5, I've gone plans".

Sometimes when I leave a message on her cell asking her if she wants to hang with me that evening, go out dinner, clothes shopping, whatever, she won't even call me back, and doesn't bring it up the next time I see her.

It's like there's no consistant pattern of IL that I can base my actions on.

Am I right to next her?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Does she propose counter offers when she cancels?

At the end of the date give her the kiss test and you'll know right away what her IL is.

 

[Nightspark]

okay the late work thing is kind of obvious... i think she's what? your age? 17 yeah? well when i was 17 all i wanted was cash so i could go out and keep the car running (fuel costs money u know ) and i always worked late when i got the chance...

and another thing about leaving her messages on her phone... thing is most of us teenagers dont wanna spend money retrieving voicemail messages, becasue it can be a real waste of cash! think about the messages u retrieved on your phone and all you heard was a click noise because they ddnt leave you one... try SMS texting her next time (unless that's what you're doing then that might mean she could be out of credit and using someone elses fone to call you ... caller ID off anyone?)

and there's a big theme about these two things! they all involve money and when you go out that involves cash too! but dont bring this up in a convo.. kind of a shtty topic...

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by skinnydart
Is low IL usually behind inconsistant behavior?
I'll set the date. And then before some dates that we have scheduled she'll call and give some bs exuse why she can't make it (like she was asked to work late), and then the very next weekend when I ask her she'll be like "yeah, that'll be fun!" and the date goes totally awesome. I mean if I have a date and I'm asked or even told to work late, I don't care, I'm telling my boss, "nope, I'm leaving at 5, I've gone plans".

Sometimes when I leave a message on her cell asking her if she wants to hang with me that evening, go out dinner, clothes shopping, whatever, she won't even call me back, and doesn't bring it up the next time I see her.

It's like there's no consistant pattern of IL that I can base my actions on.

Am I right to next her?

If you´re going to next her I don´t know, but she already nexted you.

She´s avoiding your suggestions! Can´t you see it? Anyway, broken dates = I´m not excited to meet you!

 

[skinnydart]

Can´t you see it? Anyway, broken dates = I´m not excited to meet you!

That's what I thought too, but then right after one of our dates i get this e-mail from her saying:

"hey i had a good time on Saturday, didn't know if I got a chance to tell you, I got to learn more about you and find you interesting, so keep up the good work I guess and I hope we get to see that play soon!"

So when she just ignores my call that's why I'm confused.

 

[skinnydart]

Does she propose counter offers when she cancels?

Yeah, when she canceled on a dinner/movie date, she suggested that next week we go get lunch together in the college food court. I'm thinking WTF? Hanging out in the food court during my lunch hour doesn't make up for an evening dinner and movie.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by skinnydart
Yeah, when she canceled on a dinner/movie date, she suggested that next week we go get lunch together in the college food court. I'm thinking WTF? Hanging out in the food court during my lunch hour doesn't make up for an evening dinner and movie.

Are you blind or what?

Do you think an interested girl would exchange an evening with a guy for "some time" in the food court?

Read the actions man, not the words!

 

[sapphire]

Low interest. Move on.

 

[Eggchen]

Don't be a baby and give up already! These signals are not bad at all. She went out of her way to email him and also counter offered lunch in the food court (which is better than nothing).

Skinnydart, during these dates is there any kino happening? My advice to guage her interest would be to up the kino substantially (go for a kiss too) during the next date.

 

[skinnydart]

during these dates is there any kino happening?

I go to a Christian univeristy where kissing is a finable offence. I know, don't laugh. I did get a hug in though, which she responded to really well, hugging me back almost instantly like she had been secretly wanting too. For some reason i hadn't exspected any responce to that but cool. I'll do that hair test next date though.

So if I don't ditch her, what should I do about the times I've asked her to hang and she never calls me back. Should I just wait a few days and ask her for something else, never bringing it up again or should I call her on it and say something like "hey, so did you get my message the other day?"

 

[Bonhomme]

Even the kiss test is not enough

The truth of it is that a gal who does not return your calls or cancels without making an equivalent or better counteroffer and sticking to it is not worth it, and will ultimately give you grief, unless you have others going, and genuinely don't care about her. If you don't care you can have your fun on the off chance you can hook up with her, and make nothing more of it.

I've recently broke off contact with a gal who not only kissed me at the end of our last date, but rammed her tongue down my throat, and probably would have gone to bed with me if she did not have to go to work early. But she cancelled subsequent plans, so I've cut her off ... permanently.

You need consistent positive actions for someone to be relationship material.

Addictions of any sort (except, perhaps, something positive like exercise or playing a sport or musical instrument) are no good. If your dealings with a gal feel addictive, you gotta bail. Otherwise you'll just end up feeling like a dumb azz.