Inappropriate?

[Fireballs]

Bit of a tricky one due to the circumstances that I have tried to figure out by myself but I'm stuck and need outside input.

Have recently moved to a new town with gf of 1 year and have moved in together. I work away on a 2/1 roster which means I work away for 2 weeks out at sea then I'm home with her for my week off.

Yesterday she mentioned that her new work colleagues (all mature medical professionals which most have partners) usually go to a bar to catch up for drinks on the weekend.

Her: Most of the guys/girls from the practice and a few from the hospital usually catch up for drinks at *insert bar* on the weekends. Obviously you would come if you were here but when you're away at work do you mind if I go without you?

Me: I'm not going to tell you what you can and cannot do, you're free to do whatever you want.

Her: I know but I respect your views on stuff like this and I want your input.

Me: Look, if you wish to go out to a bar without me with your friends and think it's appropriate then go for it. I'm not going to control you.

I left the convo at that as I wanted time to think about it but I can't decide if it's inappropriate or not. She's not a big drinker and I trust her but I can't decide whether to tell her it's inappropriate as she's putting herself in the position of getting potentially unwanted behaviour from other men or whether it's ok. I know that if I said I found it inappropriate, she wouldn't go, but I don't want to come across as controlling and stop her socialising with friends while I'm away.

Thoughts?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Doesn't sound like a bad tactic, leaving it up to her.
Her conscience will decide for her.
Maybe throw in the old "how would you feel if I wanted to go to a bar without you?"
In saying that, I don't think it's fair to expect her to sit around at home all day and night instead of socialising with workmates.

That's probably more likely to trigger resentment and girls do funny things when they feel that way....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Fireballs,
At the end of the Day,if she wants to frig around she will anyway...your Liberal attitude will go down well,what else can you do anyway?

 

[RangerMIke]

You handled it perfectly. You really can't control a woman and maintain her attraction level.

 

[MOTU]

I agree with all above. Let her go. The fact that she asked you shows respect. If your frame is strong and she is attracted to you, she will behave.

If you want, you could put some boundaries around it: "I want you to be comfortable socializing with your colleagues when I am gone, but send me a text when you get home so I don't have to worry about you".

 

[G_Govan]

I'm in consensus. I also like Greasy Pig's suggestion of asking her how she would feel if roles were reversed. Of course you could expect the hamster wheel to begin speeding up but it's always entertaining to try and get women to take responsibility for their actions.