In your early/mid 20s - is there any reason to be in a serious relationship?

[muscleman]

Got a few topics going, but I've had a bit of a DJ re-awakening after several months of lurking and sucking myself into another LTR. At least this time I didn't to have someone slap me to make me realize something wasn't right. Go me. Anyway, for anyone who's dated a bit, what do you think? The more I witness/read/hear the more I wonder if there's any point in getting into a serious (read: monogomous) relationship with any one girl while in your early/mid 20s. I remember Rollo Tomassi or whatever his name is writing something along the lines of "you shouldn't even consider marriage until you're 28", yet half the people I know (girls and guys alike) in their early/mid 20s are in a serious relationship and are either married or getting there.

And then there's this whole thing about girls cheating on their bfs without much thought. It's a hard pill to swallow. Especially since I have a gf, we're having troubles, and what if she did? Hell what if I did? I've certainly thought about it. Example: her best friend is getting married to this dude who's kind of a chump. They've known each other (apparently) for a looong time, yet even though they're engaged she's cheated on him already.

What the fvck is wrong with the world ...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...What the fvck is wrong with the world ...

The world is what it is. It's also however you perceive it.

 

[muscleman]

Fancisco I could use your input in my other thread. I wrote a really long reply and I'm confused to all hell.

 

[lebRambo]

hey muscleman.

I'm 20, and I've been thinking about this a lot too.

I think LTRs and casual things serve different purposes, obviously.

Call me a pvssy or whatever, but I LIKE intimacy with someone who deserves it. I like playing with her hair, calling her 'baby', cooking for her, having her cook for me, watching friends and talking about how much of a pvssy chandler is, cuddling naked in bed when its cold, and a hundred other things I can mention. I LIKE all that. The thing is, though, that is only one kind of sexual relationship. I think (most of us) are at that stage as a society where relationships are not things to pigeon hole and categorize, but fluid, dynamic sequences of interactions between two people (or more).

So I guess what I'm saying is that there is no one protocol for everybody. Not everyone should be in a serious LTR and not everybody should be banging everything in sight.

 

[STR8UP]

Anyway, for anyone who's dated a bit, what do you think? The more I witness/read/hear the more I wonder if there's any point in getting into a serious (read: monogomous) relationship with any one girl while in your early/mid 20s.

I spent most of my 20's being a serial boyfriend, cause thats what I thought you were supposed to do. Chick comes along who is halfway interesting, you settle into routine with her, and there ya go. Don't fall into the trap that I did.

And then there's this whole thing about girls cheating on their bfs without much thought. It's a hard pill to swallow. Especially since I have a gf, we're having troubles, and what if she did? Hell what if I did? I've certainly thought about it. Example: her best friend is getting married to this dude who's kind of a chump. They've known each other (apparently) for a looong time, yet even though they're engaged she's cheated on him already.

What the fvck is wrong with the world ...

Chicks in their 20's have "pu$$y power" on their side, and are gonna be more likely to fukk around on you. Yet another reason to avoid getting serious when you are that age. Doesn't mean it won't happen to you when you get older, but at least by that time you will have the experience to see it coming most of the time.

 

[STR8UP]

Call me a pvssy or whatever, but I LIKE intimacy with someone who deserves it. I like playing with her hair, calling her 'baby', cooking for her, having her cook for me, watching friends and talking about how much of a pvssy chandler is, cuddling naked in bed when its cold, and a hundred other things I can mention. I LIKE all that. The thing is, though, that is only one kind of sexual relationship. I think (most of us) are at that stage as a society where relationships are not things to pigeon hole and categorize, but fluid, dynamic sequences of interactions between two people (or more).

You bring up an excellent point. I like the same kinds of things with the right girl.

I suppose the better advice would be to "don't be afraid to enter, but know when to exit".

 

[muscleman]

I spent most of my 20's being a serial boyfriend, cause thats what I thought you were supposed to do. Chick comes along who is halfway interesting, you settle into routine with her, and there ya go. Don't fall into the trap that I did.

Chicks in their 20's have "pu$$y power" on their side, and are gonna be more likely to fukk around on you. Yet another reason to avoid getting serious when you are that age. Doesn't mean it won't happen to you when you get older, but at least by that time you will have the experience to see it coming most of the time.

Can you elaborate? Some specific examples? I really would like some input from someone who's been through it all.

 

[Alphamale1821]

I would say "no" there is really no reason to get into a serious relationship at the age of 20 to mid 20's. The way i see it as that age you shouldn't be focusing on making plans for some girl tha you spend the rest of your life with, but instead enjoying your life and doing some things that you want to do. If you do indeed want to get in a relationship and get settled down at an early age by all means do that.

I don't really plan on getting married or anything until i'm like 25 or 26 once my party has died down and i'm more settled down with my career. I'm going to enjoy that part of my youth while i have the chance too. No reason to be bogged down in a relationship when you could experience life on your own terms and bring other girls into your reality. I mean if you want to enjoy all the physical aspects of a relationship but none of the emotional bull**** then let the women know that. Live a little bit for yourself and get to know yourself more before you decide to spend your life with someone else.

 

[st_99]

In your early/mid 20s - is there any reason to be in a serious relationship?


In short... NO. live, learn, enjoy, improve yourself.. thats what your 20's are for.

 

[STR8UP]

Can you elaborate? Some specific examples? I really would like some input from someone who's been through it all.

I've had several LTR's. Even lived with a few of them.

Had some good times, and of course some bad times. Overall I don't regret having gotten involved with MOST of these women, but I do very much regret having stayed in them longer than I should have. Most of them should have been cut after 6 months, but a few of them went on past the one year mark. When you let it drag on, THATS when you are wasting your life.

If you manage to take care of yourself and stay single into your 30's you will fully understand why most of us recommend staying single while you are young.

 

[comic_relief]

You bring up an excellent point. I like the same kinds of things with the right girl.

I suppose the better advice would be to "don't be afraid to enter, but know when to exit".

agreed, even though I am just entering my '20's this year. I understand what you are talking about.

Last year, I was in a one year relationship. I should have cut it off after six months, but I thought it was going to get better. I was dumb, and it only got worse. Now I have a better idea of what i like. so, I'm out there looking.

I turned down a couple girls, but I didn't find anyone that I truely liked until the past couple of weeks. She seems interesting and pretty decent girl. I talked with a couple ex-boyfriends. They all gave me really good reviews, but they broke up with her because according to them, "I was an idiot and broke up iwth her." So, I am feeling pretty good about this one.

comic_relief

 

[sca_p]

Call me a pvssy or whatever, but I LIKE intimacy with someone who deserves it. I like playing with her hair, calling her 'baby', cooking for her, having her cook for me, watching friends and talking about how much of a pvssy chandler is, cuddling naked in bed when its cold, and a hundred other things I can mention. I LIKE all that. The thing is, though, that is only one kind of sexual relationship. I think (most of us) are at that stage as a society where relationships are not things to pigeon hole and categorize, but fluid, dynamic sequences of interactions between two people (or more).

I love doing all this stuff with my girl. One of the best parts of being in an LTR is the intimacy, the closeness of being with someone who's both your girlfriend and your best friend. My girl and I are going on three years now and I love every minute of it. Personally, I don't really see the appeal in banging lots of girls or random girls...it just seems empty, disrespectful, and irresponsible to me. I guess it depends on the person; some guys avoid LTR like the plague, and guys like me are only into LTR.

 

[lebRambo]

I love doing all this stuff with my girl. One of the best parts of being in an LTR is the intimacy, the closeness of being with someone who's both your girlfriend and your best friend. My girl and I are going on three years now and I love every minute of it. Personally, I don't really see the appeal in banging lots of girls or random girls...it just seems empty, disrespectful, and irresponsible to me. I guess it depends on the person; some guys avoid LTR like the plague, and guys like me are only into LTR.

I really respect that man, thats really cool. I guess I just havent found anybody yet that is worth me to that degree

 

[MacDiddy]

sca_p: you're probably an AFC. Does your GF have a nice bod? You're feeling are a result of you not wanting to rock the boat for fear or losing what you deem to be precious, ie. your current relationship..

Only other AFCs in comfy relationships would sympathize with this. DJ wouldn't care. I see every appeal in bangin as many chicks as I can. Its human nature, Its what us males are programmed for.

 

[mintxx]

MacDiddy:
I'm pretty sure you're off the mark labelling this guy an AFC only because he's in a LTR. Sure, if you want to bang as many chicks as you can, then go for it, but I have the *feeling this guy isn't with his girl just for the sex, and if he's happy with what he's got, then he's neither average, nor frustrated.
The argument could easily be made that 'seeing every appeal in bangin as many chicks as [you] can' is just as average and frustrated, and demonstrates a fear of human intimacy and vulnerability. Not every LTR in the 20s is undesirable by default, although I think working out what you want from your life as a human is usually better done single at this age. mintxx

 

[L777]

In a word: NO. You should be able to improve yourself and your life until you're at the point when you don't need anyone else to be happy/content...in their 20s, (call me chauvenist or whatever) I believe women should be shagged and then kept in a rotation or nexted, women are most physically attractive in their 20s, so I think this is what nature intended.

NB: I am not a woman hater, bitter etc, actually I love women, I think they're amazing, but there's simply no need to give yourself to someone at such a young age.

IMO

 

[Tha Realnezz]

No there isn't.

I don't think any chic under 28-29 really wants a real committment anyways.

Chics that get married or pregnant before that are usually the ones that cheat on their man/wanna go out constantly like their still 18.

I don't think you should you're just gonna regret it later on in life maybe even resent the chic & start hating her for no real reason..



Wait till you're a day over 28 at the very least.

(I'm 24 btw)..

 

[comic_relief]

No there isn't.

I don't think any chic under 28-29 really wants a real committment anyways.

Chics that get married or pregnant before that are usually the ones that cheat on their man/wanna go out constantly like their still 18.

I don't think you should you're just gonna regret it later on in life maybe even resent the chic & start hating her for no real reason..



Wait till you're a day over 28 at the very least.

(I'm 24 btw)..

OR...

they could be the keepers that get married early and stay together for a long time. that is what happened with a lot of girls in my family.

My sister got married at 18.
My cousin is getting married at 19 (this one I disagree with entirely and am actually trying to get her to consider to wait. Way to early in the relationship).
My aunt got married at 19.
My other friends that would be considered keepers all got married early.

comic_relief

 

[TheOnE111]

id ay if your in your early 20's like me (im 20) then just do w/e, the 20's are fun stage so make the most of'em.

 

[MacDiddy]

The argument could easily be made that 'seeing every appeal in bangin as many chicks as [you] can' is just as average and frustrated, and demonstrates a fear of human intimacy and vulnerability.

Well, your argument is a weak one, and it is just an attempt to excuse a very basic human desire and that is to ensure your genes are successfully passed on, with the best chance of survival. It is in the interest of females to ensure that she can maintain her mans fedelity to ensure her own offsprings are provided for exclusively. Hence their better chance of survival. If you break it down raw, be bang because that how our species survive. Obviously its an orderly and civilised society that mandates that we should be paired. That doesn't prevent the human male urge to spread his seeds over a wide area. Refer to your local cheating percentage, which I'm sure can be found in your local Cosmo. Last I checked it was topping 80% for males.

And also, we bang cause it feels great, plus variety keeps it from going stale.