In Moderation

[ZeroTolerance]

IN MODERATION

(Note: The following only pertains to women with whom you seek an LTR)

I read a lot of things around here that deal with “creating attraction”.....

eye contact, conversational techniques, kino, closing, being a challenge and everything in between.

These all deal with generating feelings of attraction, desirability and enticement.

But the more that you use these (or other methods) to create those feelings, the more/harder you will have to work in the future to keep those feelings from fading.

Now I am by no means suggesting that you do not use these. After all, what woman in her right mind would not want a guy to make her feel that way? But what you have to be able to do is differentiate whether the feelings she has are those that are completely cultivated by you or if they are feelings she has cultivated by you using these.

You can imagine it now....how you follow all the advice on this site (bending the rules on occasion, however), and the relationship goes smoothly. From getting her number, to setting up the dates, to becoming intimate, to......*holds breath*.....marriage. Then as time progresses, you stop giving a **** about eliciting values and using the techniques outlined here that you heavily poured on in the beginning. Next thing you know your paying child support (never seeing your kid), paying her bills, paying for her monthly getaways to undisclosed exotic locations where she stays in the honeymoon suite fvcking another guy. All while you’re surviving on Top Ramen and frozen burritoS.......and nobody is to blame but you.

So what’s the point? The point is to use these in moderation, not like some mad man on a rampage. You use these at the points in a relationship when you must and to the degree that you must and no more. Instead of you creating the attraction, get her to create it, with you providing only as little influence as possible.

Now if you are adhering to some of the key principles around here such as “having a life” and are working on “becoming a man,” etc., this will probably seem implied.

Regardless, for your own good you must do your best to judge her true interest level; and so long as you are creating the “entire” attraction therefore creating the feelings, you will then make her more interested and that will lead to you not being sure of how genuine and real it all is.

So just ease it along…..take the interest/feelings she does have and give her a little more (but just enough), so she can make the feelings grow. Don’t work too hard or think too much about it.....you can’t anyways b/c you too busy right? Let it take its course and take its time, but for you to still be in control.

That’s just my advice. Feel free to critique it and give your opinions.

 

[Nohitme Highmnu]

I would like to take what you say one step farther...

In general, it is the middle point where all good things come from, meaning, for example, you can call too much and get burnt. You can also not call enough and find that the woman lost interest. The challenge is to find that middle ground where you call just enough.

This is the same in almost every aspect, extremes are generally undesirable, and the middle ground is usually the ideal. Unfortunately, the middle ground IS VERY difficult to achieve.

All this to say that moderation is important, but the goal should be Moderation in everything... even in moderation.

Like, I'll use drinking as an example because it is really a good one. On any given night, and most of the time, you will want to have moderation in drinking. Sometimes, like when you are DD you would need to hold back on the drinking. Then, there is the other necessary extreme of drinking where you wind up stumbling home and wishing you had died the next morning. It's these times that you would realize once again how important it is to maintain the moderation.