in decent shape but gf isnt

[thissean]

Note: posted this in health and fitness, if against tos im sorry D:


So its been a long time since i have posted here or even visited. But I come back with much needed advice.

Long story short, I found the girl I'd like to have a long term relationship with three years ago. Over time, shes gained some pounds. I dont want to say that i m shallow, because i still love her, but i am concerned for her overall health in the long term. What I do to stay in shape is martial arts which i have been doing now for almost 3 years.

I looked around and some tips I read were:
1) suggest sporty type dates (ie tennis, volleyball...)
2) suggest to exercise with me (running, going to the gym)
3) something similar to the last two...

But the problems with those tips for my situation is that she has bad depth perception and doesnt really like sports with a ball involved. She also refuses to run or exercise with me because she says she feels stupid because im so much more in shape than her.

One sign of hope though is that she is showing interest in taking JiuJitsu with me. She even did tried it once and enjoyed it. Though she was shy in doing the warmup, and im hoping she doesnt shy away from it completely. I encourage her to stick with it and am hoping for the best.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She needs to take to address that part of her life, just like the many AFC's need to get their chit together when it comes with women.

Fat loss is just as much an inner game process as it is physical. The motivation needs to come from within. She is not motivated to loose weight and you are trying to get her to take action by being more active, which is the equivalent to some random AFC learning a few pick up lines and expecting to be pulling a$s left and right.

Been studying/researching this stuff for 22 years. There is no easy way to do it, just as there is no easy way to explain it. It is a lifestyle, a mind set, a skill set.

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Take her to the gym. I've always wanted a thick girl I can train back to being skinny again.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Let me explain.

When I first met my girlfriend she hid it well, but damn it shocked me, had sex with the lights on, she was a little chubby.

Now, I can't complain now, because since then she has lost 15 pounds and it's made a big difference.

Here's how I did it.

I got her loving to exercise because when she lost the first 5 pounds she loved the compliments her family gave her. So riding bikes, walking, swimming, everything natural. Even got her going to the gym with me! (part of my membership allows me to bring someone with me anytime I want)

She began loving the elliptical at the gym and biking with me miles and miles. If she wanted fast food one night she'd bike there with me! Just the other day we biked to Checkers!

So I got her into it basically by showing her that most of the activities I enjoy involve exercise and it worked!

My girl is hot, HB8

 

[WC2]

Compliments, compliments.

Even if a woman isn't in great shape, telling her that she looks great once in awhile will boost her ego and thus make her WANT to work out more often.

On the other hand, if you're constantly telling her she needs to get to the gym, she won't do it. It's like telling a little kid to eat his vegetables.

If you compliment your woman on certain features, she will work at them to make them better.

 

[Ganondorf]

Sounds like she got way to comfortable with you. never let that happen

i told my gf that she is never ever gonna be fat as long as im here, and i'm making damn sure it doesn't happen.

that's just a sign of laziness. she no longer feels like she has to look pretty for you. if you put in long hours at the gym trying to look good for her, then she should show the same consideration

get her fat lazy behind on a treadmill and tell her no sex until she loses the belly

*******ness aside, just be real with her. show her that she has gotten fat and disgusting and you no longer feel sexually attracted to her
I'm sure if you got a beer belly and osama beard that she'd feel the same way about you

get her moving

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Compliments, compliments.

Even if a woman isn't in great shape, telling her that she looks great once in awhile will boost her ego and thus make her WANT to work out more often.

On the other hand, if you're constantly telling her she needs to get to the gym, she won't do it. It's like telling a little kid to eat his vegetables.

If you compliment your woman on certain features, she will work at them to make them better.

While it sounds ideal, it doesn't work in the real world. At least not in the Fat Loss world.

People won't respond to compliments if they don't feel they have EARNED them. Complimenting in order to get her to go with your agenda and get her to want to work out won't work. That is the equivalent to complimenting/kissing up to a hot girl to get her approval. Now, if you compliment her after she does something worthy, apart from her looks, then it is more powerful.

From my experience, that won't work, most of the time, at least. The only times that works enough times to try it, is when she has ALREADY STARTED working out, then you compliment, and make her feel good that her effort is paying off, and that it is worth it. Getting her to start loosing fat/working out has to come from her own motivation. People only change when they are motivated to do it for themselves, not when others want them to. By complementing before, most times, you'll just reinforce her attitude of "I am cute, and don't really need to improve much".

Another situation where that might work, is with women who ALREADY CARE ABOUT THEIR APPERANCE, and have pride in their look. These women will accept the compliment(s), yet still feel they need to improves. So a compliment would motivate them even more, because they are already motivated, and are already doing something about it, and won't already feel like they don't need to do anything because people tell them they look good. Positive reinforcement gives them the reassurance that what they are doing is very well worth it.

 

[Dole]

no sex until she loses the belly

:crackup:

 

[thissean]

Wow thanks for the replies, some good ones in there.

So heres some of my responses.

Gangster Of Love: I really liked this response and it makes a crap load of sense to me...would it be good to explain it to her like this? As in its a mindset and a lifestyle and you basically have to really want it to get it?

Vlad the Impaler: Good solution but from many girls ive talked to, they feel uncomfortable at the gym because some feel that guys gawk at the women there (admit it, we do when we see a fox walk in ;p) of even selfconscious

guywhoneedshelp: It makes sense and Im glad it worked for you. My girlfriend knows fashion sense and knows that thick girls shouldnt wear pink etc so she usually wears clothes that can hide it. But i think once she starts participating more in jiujitsu this is what i will do.

WC2: I can see your point but like Gangster of Love i dont think its ideal,

 

[DJDamage]

She should get a Wii

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v31qxrXsxv0

 

[thissean]

Lmao, i saw that. could be an idea, we do play house of the dead on Wii, maybe i can suggest it >_>

"Hey, want to play wii fit?"

"are you calling me fat? -smack-"

""

 

[mtlwlu]

Id suggest when you guys eat out try eating at healthy places. I dont know if a girl would like going to the gym a lot of them are intimiated there and are afraid of judgement. I know a handfull of girls that go to an all womens gym for that reason. I dont think Ive ever judged a girl at the gym, I only look to see if they're hot or not

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Have more sex with her. Having sex burns calories!! But, than again it is us that does most the work...

 

[r0cky]

The best thing to do is everytime you're with her stare at the skinny hbs. If shes really loves you she'll get worried about losing you to a skinny girl.

PS. I dont suggest getting the Wii Fit or else this might happen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AryF2uvO86Y&feature=related