In bit of a situation with flatmate and in need of some advice.

[Sgthaytham]

Right so I've moved to a new flat mate beginning of last week. I've met new people but there are some of my old flatmates here too.

Anyway there's this woman who I've really kicked off with.

Part of doesn't want to do anything since we're flatmates... but, as you can imagine if the chemistry it that high, things are bound to happen.

Last night we had a party, and I noticed how often she'd hovering around me, striking up conversations, touching my hands and arms, etc...

I mean at one point she literally sat on my lap.

Is this something to pursue? Or are flatmates really off limits?

 

[bat soup]

Right so I've moved to a new flat mate beginning of last week. I've met new people but there are some of my old flatmates here too.

Anyway there's this woman who I've really kicked off with.

Part of doesn't want to do anything since we're flatmates... but, as you can imagine if the chemistry it that high, things are bound to happen.

Last night we had a party, and I noticed how often she'd hovering around me, striking up conversations, touching my hands and arms, etc...

I mean at one point she literally sat on my lap.

Is this something to pursue? Or are flatmates really off limits?

I'd say the opposite. You should make a move as quickly as possible otherwise you're going to end up with blue balls.

 

[Sgthaytham]

I'd say the opposite. You should make a move as quickly as possible otherwise you're going to end up with blue balls.

Like, I think it's pretty obvious she's into me, and I'm into her too... I just thought maybe it would be good to let it develop naturally instead of moving as quickly as possible and possibly coming of as week and needy :/

 

[bat soup]

Like, I think it's pretty obvious she's into me, and I'm into her too... I just thought maybe it would be good to let it develop naturally instead of moving as quickly as possible and possibly coming of as week and needy :/

It's the opposite, though. If you leave it to her, things will probably never happen and you'll have to live with the frustration of seeing her hook up with other guys knowing that you missed your chance.

 

[Black Widow Void]

If you hook up and one of you becomes invested while the other eventfully tires of the situation, things can get messy. This could not only be awkward between you two, but could cause tension with other flat mates as well.

Also.. if you don't hook up with her, then eventually you're likely to see her with another man (and as flat mates may hear them in action too). Despite what others may claim, we all have egos. And yours might take a bruise on this one.

When younger, I acted 'in the moment" many times. Sometimes it worked out and sometimes it didn't. These days, I've probably lost a few opportunities by overthinking, but I've also been spared a lot of headaches too.

Good luck!

 

[sph21]

I just thought maybe it would be good to let it develop naturally instead of moving as quickly as possible and possibly coming of as week and needy :/

Moving as quickly as possible is equivalent to courageous and bold.

Think of it from her perspective:

She was giving you all the signals that she's interested in you. She wants you to take a courageous leap and to escalate the relationship to next level.

When you're taking it slowly, she'll think that you're hesitating of having any romantic relationship with her. She'll think that you're rejecting her advances and she'll leave you alone because she doesn't want to be rejected anymore.

You must always strike while the iron is hot. You don't want to wait for it to cool down or you'll regret it later.

Act now before it's too late.

Ask her out and escalate it further.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Anyway there's this woman who I've really kicked off with.

Part of doesn't want to do anything since we're flatmates... but, as you can imagine if the chemistry it that high, things are bound to happen.

If the d'ick radar tells you something and gives the green light then you should probably listen and act upon it..
Ha ha ha

 

[Sgthaytham]

Moving as quickly as possible is equivalent to courageous and bold.

Think of it from her perspective:

She was giving you all the signals that she's interested in you. She wants you to take a courageous leap and to escalate the relationship to next level.

When you're taking it slowly, she'll think that you're hesitating of having any romantic relationship with her. She'll think that you're rejecting her advances and she'll leave you alone because she doesn't want to be rejected anymore.

You must always strike while the iron is hot. You don't want to wait for it to cool down or you'll regret it later.

Act now before it's too late.

Ask her out and escalate it further.

Come on dude, you think I'm blowing her off??

I have not said anything of the sort, I would prefer us to flirt naturally and not force anything by going to quickly - which is needy

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Right so I've moved to a new flat mate beginning of last week. I've met new people but there are some of my old flatmates here too.

Anyway there's this woman who I've really kicked off with.

Part of doesn't want to do anything since we're flatmates... but, as you can imagine if the chemistry it that high, things are bound to happen.

Last night we had a party, and I noticed how often she'd hovering around me, striking up conversations, touching my hands and arms, etc...

I mean at one point she literally sat on my lap.

Is this something to pursue? Or are flatmates really off limits?

Go for it. But understand the consequences if things go sour.

If you are okay and both are mature enough to handle such a situation (should it arise), then enjoy brother! It'll either be you or somebody else, right? So do it. And even if its a mistake, you'll learn first hand what not to do. Still a win-win for you.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Serenity]

Like, I think it's pretty obvious she's into me, and I'm into her too... I just thought maybe it would be good to let it develop naturally instead of moving as quickly as possible and possibly coming of as week and needy :/

With the type of behavior you described from her it's more like you're unnecessarily putting the brakes on the natural progression. If you want it to develop naturally then this isn't it, this is unnatural.

There is such a thing as going too slow. It's what someone does when they fear going too quickly. Going too fast is what happens when someone fears going too slow. Don't be ruled by these irrational fears, just sense the pace and go with the flow of what feels natural in the moment. If that ends up going from 0-100 in an evening then that's what happens, she'll be just as much into it as you if you just went with the natural flow.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It's the opposite, though. If you leave it to her, things will probably never happen and you'll have to live with the frustration of seeing her hook up with other guys knowing that you missed your chance.

This 100%.

 

[sph21]

Come on dude, you think I'm blowing her off??

I have not said anything of the sort, I would prefer us to flirt naturally and not force anything by going to quickly - which is needy

You miss understood what I wrote.

I didn't say that you were blowing her off.

By going too slow, you'll risk of her feeling rejected with your lack of actions.

I'm trying to help you by not making the same mistake as I did. I don't have any ill intention.

English is not my native language. So, it might be my fault that you miss understood my words.

 

[Paper Crane]

I think you're thinking way too much about it bro. Someone made a thread about emotional maturity.. I htink that comes into play here. If you're emotionally mature enough, you can have some fun with her and it be just that.

Sex is just sex.. its people who arent emotionally mature who add all this other stuff to it.

 

[SirBigBell]

I’d go in for the kill at the earliest opportunity. You however have to lay down your conditions of engagement very loud and clear. If you dont then things can get messy and awkward very fast.

A flatmate can also destroy opportunities for more pvssy if not well managed. It would be tough to bring fresh skirts home with her there. And remember she can really punish you if she is the bitter kind with moves such as:

-hiding your mail
-pissing in your milk if you share the fridge
-spreading toxic rumours

Do your homework well and proceed with caution