In between first and second date. Questions!

[guru1000]

You must challenge women, irrespective of age. The hotter a woman, the more challenge she requires.

Game over; too much interplay between dates. I'm already bored just reading the exchange; imagine the loss of challenge she feels.

Next time a girl retorts the infamous, "I will let you know," respond with "Let's leave it for another day when you can make definite plans." No contact for a week, and ask her out again; anything other than a concrete "YES," then NEXT.

 

[Governator]

@wishyo yeah man i am the exact same as you...like literally what you said is almost word for word i would describe my college experience on the ladies scene.

So igetit, and other guys---what do you think the venue for the second date should be? i think ill text her either tomorrow or tuesday and set up something for weds maybe thursday? ill do my homework this time and seek out a time she doesnt have work/commitments.

not beach yeah but idk what else would be fun second date....its pretty hot here so anything outdoors other than beach is kinda too hot unless at night.

 

[Special EDy]

The zoo is a good non romantic place for a potential LTR, it will create an unconscious link between you and her childhood memories of wonder and happiness. Or you could go for something amazing, like bungee jumping. Just keep it exciting and creative, I wouldnt go for the romantic date until you've set the hook.

 

[Governator]

@special edy the zoo is about an hour and a half drive..... so i dont know if thats an option....i was thinking like mini golf/go carts or bowling...those good or nah? i dont think a trip to the zoo(because of the commute) is an option yet.

 

[RabidWolverine]

ALSO-since family friend im obviously not trying to hit it and quit it. i want this for a relationship.

forget the relationship thing for now. youre thinking WAY too far ahead and putting too much pressure on yourself. you gotta be careful with thinking like this, women have a better intuition then us guys and they look for little hints, that may indicate you like her too much.

AN EXAMPLE - smiling too much, like you said. smiling can kill sexual tension by making the interaction seem to friendzone, to her. i know youre thinking - what the ****? this guys telling me to not smile? it sounds crazy but its true.

if youre smiling too much, it makes it look like youre enjoying the interaction too much, which sets of an alarm in her head. alphas have plenty of women and dont get overly excited for just one. not an alpha, yet? doesnt matter. act like an alpha and you shall become one.

some of my greatest success with women has come from an hour, two hour long interaction, when ive maybe smiled twice. im telling ya man, women are into guys that have a serious looks on their face and flashes that alpha grim, only from time to time. see, the key is if you have them isolated and everything seems appropriate to escalate to sex, start using your "bedroom eyes" and throw that smiling crap out the window.

the odds of her getting a hold of you or slim to none. it takes a lot for a girl, who acutally likes you, to text you. this isnt necessarily a bad thing - when girls are really into, they play coy a lot of the time. no biggie. be the man and text her.

good luck bro.

 

[wishyo]

Yes, zoo is actually cool. Even if it's like an hour drive, tell her something like that you found online a mega discount for zoo tickets. This was you tell her where you want to go without acting too needy.
My girl really enjoyed watching dolphins' show, make sure to check them out if you will be there. 30 minutes after that show we had our first kiss. I stated a fact. But honestly I don't think that zoo or dolphins in particular had anything with kissing, it just had to happen eventually.

 

[Governator]

@wishyo i looked up the distance again. and its 2 hours... so thats a 4 hour trip just driving... that would be like an all day kind of date thing...you still think thats a good idea for a second date?
just the time thats why im saying that.

we have an aquarium really close but i am almost positive she went there this month i remember her saying that.

 

[wishyo]

"Well, 2 hour drive sucks indeed, but on the other hand, aren't you excited about the possibility that you can spend whole day with her? Since it will be a long ass drive, you will have to stop somewhere to eat, so it will not be only a zoo date… probably there are other things you guys can check out in that area. On the other hand, zoo is not crucial by any means, there should plenty of other things in your city like parks, museums (bit AFC?) and so on...
Long ass drive is generally boring so for example figure out what type of music she likes and make sure you have something of that on ur phone so u can play it when u drive, just one way to make this drive more fun. I for example like EDM big time, the girl I date likes it too (doesnt like when I put max volume though :/) so whenever we are stuck in traffic and really out of things to talk (been few times when we got stuck in traffic for like 2-3 hours...), I just put the music=fun and enjoyable as we both like it.
As for dates, in my case, since I just moved to the city, I am always telling my girl to go somewhere new so I can learn more about the city and so on. I guess later on I will need to do some homework and tell her where I WANT to go, now it's rather her showing me the city and suggesting where we could go...
As for aquarium.. generally speaking we all know, if girl has interest in you, she would agree to go there or at least she would make a counter offer, your case is not simple so probably guess about something else, something that can excite her by itself"

 

[Governator]

@wishyo

i mean yeah duh of course i would like to spend the whole day with her haha. but i mean in terms of like yeah driving i dont have a problem with that or anything. as to what you said earlier yeah i work 40 hour week normal business hours but my boss is pretty flexible with letting me get off here and there.
instead of her blocking off a small part of her day its like she would have to block off her entire day. (that's my only concern--as a second date is that too much time?)
which could be a good thing? idk. if she says yes then its a good sign. if she says no-then we got the answer haha. the city where the zoo is- is where i went to college so i know like a **** ton of stuff to do there and good food too.
I'm gonna use a strategy I saw. You call the girl up and be like hey so I am busy this week but (ex) Saturday I am open and Sunday. Gives her 2 different choices. If she is not interested. She denies both or if she is busy both she can say but I am free this day.

 

[wishyo]

Yea, that's probably too much for the second date. Didnt think about that one as my recent dates were like 8 hour+ marathons lol cuz I can meet with her pretty much on weekends only, at least for now.
I am so glad I didn't have to go thru so much uncertainty like some guys had on these forums..
I mean last time I picked her up, we didnt even plan where to go anywhere, I was like "so where are we going?" she was like "lol, i dont know." Stuff like this makes it so clear WHY exactly are we seeing each other.
What sucks is that I am spending my time now thinking about her, spending my time at home and work on forums/reading articles about dating which I never did, ever... Pretty miserable to be honest, but oh well One more goddamn week until she will come back from her vacations, hopefully she will be desperate enough to see me so she will commute two hours to see me for like two hours and spend another two hours going back, doubt she is that desperate though :/
I am turning more and more AFC every day, glad she doesnt know what I feel. Sorry for offtopic, sitting at home alone after having a very long and boring day at work

 

[Governator]

Yea, that's probably too much for the second date. Didnt think about that one as my recent dates were like 8 hour+ marathons lol cuz I can meet with her pretty much on weekends only, at least for now.
I am so glad I didn't have to go thru so much uncertainty like some guys had on these forums..
I mean last time I picked her up, we didnt even plan where to go anywhere, I was like "so where are we going?" she was like "lol, i dont know." Stuff like this makes it so clear WHY exactly are we seeing each other.
What sucks is that I am spending my time now thinking about her, spending my time at home and work on forums/reading articles about dating which I never did, ever... Pretty miserable to be honest, but oh well One more goddamn week until she will come back from her vacations, hopefully she will be desperate enough to see me so she will commute two hours to see me for like two hours and spend another two hours going back, doubt she is that desperate though :/
I am turning more and more AFC every day, glad she doesnt know what I feel. Sorry for offtopic, sitting at home alone after having a very long and boring day at work

yeah. okay so in my head I have either mini golf/go carts or a comedy show. I feel like both of those it can get her laughing, and enjoying the date overall its quick and I feel like not so much pressure as an 8 hour adventure haha. which do you think would be better.

im gonna wait till tomorrow to call (so last time she saw me was Saturday that's a few days.) Quick phone call. set up the date 2 days to choose from and then boom done. the less I talk to her I think is the better...no more texting for me haha:crazy: I agree with people that say texting can ruin your chances.

 

[Governator]

Espi I read that. It's been a week since our date. Soo I feel like I'm not coming off needy...I called once and ducked that up but that was my own damn fault.

 

[Governator]

And also it's not like I can just go ghost in terms of seeing her. I see her once a week about anyways. I can go ghost on the calling/texting....just had dinner with her mom and grandpa. She came later once she got off work. They started to watch a tv show but I was like I gotta head out. So I ghosted. Think it was a good thing. She is probably like why didn't he stay. (Let's hope)

 

[Special EDy]

I dont even tell girls where I plan on taking them. I just show up on my motorcycle with a spare helmet and say "its a surprise". The more mystery the better. Wont give her a chance to make a bunch of preconceptions about the date which you may fail to meet.

 

[Governator]

I dont even tell girls where I plan on taking them. I just show up on my motorcycle with a spare helmet and say "its a surprise". The more mystery the better. Wont give her a chance to make a bunch of preconceptions about the date which you may fail to meet.

edy i think your onto something....haha. what do you say? hey are you free x date and time or x date and time and then she says yes or no and then do you say okay ill pick you up then dont dress up too much or something like that?

what are yalls opinions on asking a girl 1. if she is free certain nights (duh) but then 2. asking what she would like to do (if she says idk-say well i got some options) give her the options and then she picks.
or does that go against our DJ rules?

thanks.

 

[Special EDy]

Start with a big gap and whittle it down. "Are you free this next weekend, I wanna take you someplace special"? Or keep it simple, "are you busy this weekend"?
She's gonna be really likely to say yes. Then, youve already got her semicommitted, "how about Friday", or even "what day works best for you". Its okay to let her pick, youve already set the parameters of her decision and she already said she DID have freetime.

 

[wishyo]

I always go for simple version..
"someplace special" imo hints her that you have interest, thinking about her, trying to play games (perhaps?), putting effort into creating something for her so early into relationship..
That's just my perception. Either way is good.

 

[Governator]

I always go for simple version..
"someplace special" imo hints her that you have interest, thinking about her, trying to play games (perhaps?), putting effort into creating something for her so early into relationship..
That's just my perception. Either way is good.

so are you saying dont say somewhere special or say that

and you guys lost me. let the girl choose where to go or nah.

 

[Special EDy]

Yeah, you could word it better than someplace special. Something more vague.

Better if possible to remain in control of the date choice. That way you are more familiar with the environment and she is the one on her toes.

 

[wishyo]

so are you saying dont say somewhere special or say that

and you guys lost me. let the girl choose where to go or nah.

decide yourself what makes the most sense, what fits you, what feels more "natural." We are just sharing personal opinions. there is no absolute answer for dating stuff..
I would go with simple option because it just fits my "style."