In a downward spiral ...

[Firefly]

Feeling pretty down for the last several months, for the following reasons:

1. About to finish grad school. No issues about passing, but did not perform as well as I hoped for various reasons. Getting this qualification means I will be financially secure for life but my mediocre performance in school will definitely hamper my prospects to rise to the top of the profession.

2. Socialisation issues. Got kicked out of my social group a couple of years ago, and still having issues getting over it. Have a new social group now, and sometimes feel like they take up too much of my time away from academic/work stuff BUT still feel like the bad reputation I had in my old group will haunt me. I think my main concern about my social group is ...

3. No relationship or sex for the last year
The main reason I miss my old social group is that it was a great way to meet single women. My new group is actually made up of old undergrad college buddies and work mates, and while it is socially engaging, there are zero prospects there. Even if I do find another social avenue (and a few have been presenting themselves to me), I lack confidence that I will be successful because I am ...

4. Getting fat and out of shape
It is coming onto winter here in Australia, and as has happened every year since I started working in hospitals, I have been fighting the flu for the last six weeks. As a result, I have been not going to the gym as I know from experience when I workout, the flus get twice as bad. However, this means I have lost all the gains I made this year fitness wise and I have been engaging in a lot of comfort eating as well.

5. Losing more friends. Losing my old social group meant that I lost a lot of my "friends". However, even after then, I kept losing friends due to various pressures or bad luck. My best friend suffered a schizophreniac episode, and now believes I have been plotting against him for years. Another friend stopped being close after I was unable to attend his wedding overseas. I know I should learn to stand on my own two feet, but it is hard sometimes losing friends I have known for years.


So can anyone advise on the best way to get over this funk?

 

[cordoncordon]

As a result, I have been not going to the gym as I know from experience when I workout, the flus get twice as bad.

Actually it is the opposite.

And it's hard to believe you have had the flu for 6 straight weeks. Probably something else going on there.

 

[guru1000]

I will be financially secure for life

What does financially secure mean to you, income- and net-worth-wise?

 

[Tictac]

I've worked at one of the biggest banks in the world.

If your Master's affects you in any way ever, it will be as you go for that first job that demands or honors that degree.

A year later, if you are performing, no one will care about a tenth or two on your graduate GPA. If you aren't performing, unless your parents have pull or something else like that, nothing will save you, not even top degree, with a top ranking from a top school.

 

[Huffman]

Man that's a couple of problems, but the easiest one to solve is: work out and get in shape.

 

[zekko]

Originally Posted by Firefly
As a result, I have been not going to the gym as I know from experience when I workout, the flus get twice as bad.

Actually it is the opposite.

No, I can definitely see this being true. After all, he says he's talking from experience. I can definitely see that if you are sick, and you work out hard, you're wearing your body out so that it can't fight the infection as efficiently. That's why they advise getting plenty of rest when you're sick. The gym isn't the answer to everything.

 

[Jitterbug]

Start with what you can control: your health. Once you have your health and fitness back, tackle the rest.

As for getting the flu, it sounds like you have other stuff.

If it's just cold or flu, I find that while I can't do heavy lifting much, being active helps recovery a lot. Walking, cycling, some light bodyweight work (pushups, abs, chins) make me feel better. Getting plenty of rest like the doctor says always prolongs the flu / cold.

 

[Huffman]

That's why they advise getting plenty of rest when you're sick. The gym isn't the answer to everything.

Yeah, you gotta be smart about it. Working out isn't just hitting the gym like crazy, but to have a calculated strategy. That includes resting. Just if you have really long flus... see the doctor of course... once you're healthy again do endurance sport to get that immune system up.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Firefly,
Most if not all of your problems relate to your pushing yourself far too hard...I used a Hay Baler for years,pulled by a tractor,if you made the work too heavy for it,then it had a number of shear pins that broke to save expensive items from being damaged,like a circuit breaker really...Your body is the same...just allow yourself to relax a little,just gentle exercise at first then you can consider stepping up the pace...Even if Calories in calories out is not completely true,it is still a useful way to approach the problem...As you improve don't go crazy in the gym,it is soo easy to tear muscles,you are surrounded by Physios get some advice...As for the social aspects,working in a Hospital makes it like falling off a log...even patients like me can easily pick up Nurses...So many work crazy hours never meet a Man...When I was younger I used to ring the local Nurses Home,just ask whoever answered,if any girls were at a loose end that night...Soo easy...First just Fvuck some of the Old Sheilahs to get back into the routine...As the old joke went,whats the difference between a Rolls Royce and a Nurse?....Not everyone has been in a Roller LOL.