In a bad situation

[donjuanapprentice01]

Hey guys, been a long time since I was on here last. Since my last post, I finally got laid and entered into my first relationship... but now, I really wish I hadn't... and I need advice. Here is the gist.

Met this girl back in April last year. She is 10 years younger than me (I'm 30, she is 20) which I was concerned about, but not bad looking and no kids, which was huge. Anyways, we got on really well, went out, lost my virginity, she enjoyed sex, good stuff. We agreed to make it official being bf/gf. But then, bad things started to happen. First, she started to become extremely clingy. By "Extremely", I am talking about her getting temper tantrums if I didn't text or call her back within 10 minutes. Every time I had to say, "I got to go" she would go "Fak You! Blowing me off again!" She would get upset if I spent time with my buds or my brother or my family. Another thing... she never sleeps! I have to work at 9 every weekday morning, yet she contantly texts/calls at 2 or 3 a.m.!

So, I start getting fed up. I tell her I am not happy. Then she claims she is pregnant! Ohhh ****! (Backstory.. she was on the pill but has some kind of hormone problem that she told me she had a very hard time getting pregnant, and with the pill, it was impossible.. so I did it bareback all the time.. guys.. PLEASE DON'T BE AS STUPID AS ME!!!) So here I am freaking out! But things don't make sense as she is telling me this. I ask her for her pregnancy test and she e-mails me a pic of a test that my friend found on google images! I confront her about it, and says well, the real one she threw away. I don't believe her, but I play anyways.. she kept going on about her being preggo for 2 MONTHS! Of course, she has a miscarriage... I talked to her mom, and the real story is that she thought she was pregnant because she missed her period, got a blood test that turned out negative, but continued with her preggo story anyways. So I was deceived for ages by her. But... it's gets creepier..

She created fake "friends" on facebook. Every time she was mad with me, for whatever reason (90% of the time was because I couldn't make time for her) she would use her alternate profiles to chime in and agree that I was a bad bf and all. I actually thought these were her real friends because they were on her list before I met her. I would e-mail these "friends" telling them to mind their own business, and she would e-mail me back using these aliases! When I confronted her, she denied they were fake all the time.

She cries alot. I talked to her mother because she needs help. Her mother agreed. Aparently, all she does is wait for me to text or call her. If she doesn't hear from me she is miserable until she does.

No one I know likes her. My friends, my family, no one. But see, I feel bad for her.. The truth is, she comes from an abused background. She lived in Florida with her dad for years who beat the piss out of her and her brother, barely gave her any food, etc.. I know she needs help, but is refusing it. I'm stuck in a lousy situation here. I know I need to break things off, I sort of did that already, but I am really concerned if I do what she may do to herself.

 

[betheman]

I know I need to break things off, I sort of did that already, but I am really concerned if I do what she may do to herself.

I put serious money on her doing just that! harming herslef or at least threatening to.
That is her problem, not yours, dont be suckered into it. she is manipulating you and will continue to do so unless you stay strong

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

I put serious money on her doing just that! harming herslef or at least threatening to.
That is her problem, not yours, dont be suckered into it. she is manipulating you and will continue to do so unless you stay strong

Oh I know she will do this. Makes it worse is that I am her first boyfriend, and the first person she got intimate with (she has had sex though.. she told me she met some guy online living in a different city and she ran away, where she proceeded to get raped. Her mom told me this, as she needed treatment when she came back. But she even told me she never had sex before me, which isnt really true.)

 

[betheman]

she is playing the victim, sh isnt, she is a survivor, she wil get by without you, she will find a mug to take her on

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Oh I know she will do this. Makes it worse is that I am her first boyfriend, and the first person she got intimate with (she has had sex though.. she told me she met some guy online living in a different city and she ran away, where she proceeded to get raped. Her mom told me this, as she needed treatment when she came back. But she even told me she never had sex before me, which isnt really true.)

Where'd you find this girl? Outside the psych ward?

A- The guy who "raped" her probably just dumped her, and she freaked out. I'd be extremely hesitant to believe any of her stories whether it's the rape or the beatings from her dad. It might be true, but you have to consider that it might not be.

Either way, you did your part as the caring boyfriend. We don't have enough time in our short lives to solve everyone's problems. Right now you need to fix your life by removing her from it. You've been with this chick for less than a year, and you're dealing with a lifetime's worth of problems.

You probably should have never dated her in the first place, but you were lonely and it was your first time. Now you've learned. Let's move forward.