"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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improving my social skills

randalll

Don Juan
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i didnt go out with the intention to pick up a girl, i just wanted to have a good night with a few mates and catch up.
we just went to a couple of pubs and had a chat, nothing much really, and i haven't drank anything tonight.

the problem's been with me for a while. i always feel so seperated from everyone, and tonight was worse than it has been for a while, i thought i had been improving my social skills, but it sometimes seems that ive made no progress at all. i often struggle to follow conversation and think of things to say, i just sat there for most of the night, and when i do talk people dont usually listen much. im tired of always being the awkward guy, who's difficult to talk to and who's conversations are very basic and never last more than half a minute

im not one of those people that are desperate to fit in and get along with everyone, the reason i want to improve is because i want to know i can.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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FairShake

Master Don Juan
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Yeah man, I feel you on that. When it comes to social anxiety like that the root is usually some kind of insecurity. Your's, like mine, is that you don't feel you are interesting enough. Since you can pinpoint the problem, the solution is so much easier to figure out. Harder to implement, but easier to figure out.

Live a more interesting life.

Go out more. Bars...meh. But dancing and restaurants are what I like and you can talk about that. DO more things. For example, I work as a nurse...plenty of interesting stories to tell about that job. I also box, play guitar, cook like G-d himself, ride mountain bikes, take photos, am refurbishing a Chevy Malibu, etc. Lots of stuff to talk about.

Finally, if you're lazy, make stuff up. I did...and do. :p
 

Junkyard

Don Juan
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Well if you have negative inner dialogue, try to cut that out as much as possible. And as long as your trying to improve yourself, your always winning. Dont let one bad day ruin it. I would suggest a part-time job where you talk to alot of people so your constantly in the mix.
 
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