Improvement? and some questions!

[OamImrsNemo]

Okay so I take this chick out who ive been seeing for 4 months. We go out to dinner and we have some great convorsation. We start talking about work then she tells me about this one guy. "o yeah he's annoying"...Well why is he annoying? "Well he keeps asking when I am going to break up with you." So thats when in my head an alarm goes off? But I think maybe she is just trying to put herself higher or give her self worth or value to keep me around? Is that right?

So then we keep eating. More good convorsation then she brings up how she is going out to lunch with some guy tom from school. Then she asks me is that weird? do you not want me to go? I say well no it doesnt bother me at all. (because it shouldnt because I shouldnt be worried about my game right?)

Well next day comes everything is going good and then I call her. no answer. She texts me that she is in class whatsup. I reply hey Im going backpacking today would you like to come? she responds I work tom at noon. I tell her well we can be back before then. I wait an hour no response then I call. Nothing. She calls me back 2 hrs later.
ME: I say wow that took a long time.
her: yeah haha sorry.
Me: I thought you had a break in between classes?
Her: Yeah but I was at lunch member?
Me: so you couldnt spend 5 mins to let me know whether you could go or not?
Her: well that would be disrespectful to make a call during lunch.
Me: So your more worried about somones feelings you dont even know but your boyfriend doesnt matter?
Her: Well i didnt know you were waiting I thought you ment later I figured you knew I had class and I would call after that?
ME: Umm yeah thats why i called again?
Her: comon I should have called im sorry but is this worth fighting over.
Me: yeah because your letting another man interfere with commmunicating with me.thats a red flag to me

then later i got this.
Her: I am sick of fighting i care about you i didnt cheat on you and i am not interested in another man but i dont think either one of us wants to be in a relationship that is a constant fight and that is all that we seem to do.
ME: wow.. your breaking up over text
Her: I dont want to break up.
Me: well then we need to talk tonight! call me when you get off work.

So tonight when we talk im just going to tell her what i want in a relationship and if she cant meet up to my criteria im just going to move on. I feel that was ridiculouse she didnt even call me. Now please if im acting way out of hand or in any other way than you guys would do correct me or give me some advice. But basically tonight im gonna tell her what I want out of this relationship How I feel she should act. Ex. calling me back when as soon as she gets a chance regardless whose around. school is a good reason not to call back but hanging out with somone else is not.

Advice suggestions corrections feel free and thank you!

 

[Kailex]

Okay so I take this chick out who ive been seeing for 4 months. We go out to dinner and we have some great convorsation. We start talking about work then she tells me about this one guy. "o yeah he's annoying"...Well why is he annoying? "Well he keeps asking when I am going to break up with you." So thats when in my head an alarm goes off? But I think maybe she is just trying to put herself higher or give her self worth or value to keep me around? Is that right?

So then we keep eating. More good convorsation then she brings up how she is going out to lunch with some guy tom from school. Then she asks me is that weird? do you not want me to go? I say well no it doesnt bother me at all. (because it shouldnt because I shouldnt be worried about my game right?)

You should have responded saying that it's no problem at all and: What a coincidence, I have lunch with some girl Jill from school on the same day.

Well next day comes everything is going good and then I call her. no answer. She texts me that she is in class whatsup. I reply hey Im going backpacking today would you like to come? she responds I work tom at noon. I tell her well we can be back before then. I wait an hour no response then I call. Nothing. She calls me back 2 hrs later.

Mistake. You texted her... why call again? It's needy and seems desperate. If she were really interested, she would have replied back at some point. You didn't give her the chance to.

ME: I say wow that took a long time.

Mistake. You are just confirming here that you are needy and desperate. Why did you feel the need to point that out? You're lucky she even called back.

her: yeah haha sorry.
Me: I thought you had a break in between classes?
Her: Yeah but I was at lunch member?
Me: so you couldnt spend 5 mins to let me know whether you could go or not?

Ouch, man. You're telling her how she's supposed to be spending her lunches now? Is this a oneitis? I mean, aren't your backpacking plans set in stone with or without her? If she doesn't want to go, her loss.

Her: well that would be disrespectful to make a call during lunch.
Me: So your more worried about somones feelings you dont even know but your boyfriend doesnt matter?

Whoa. AFC-ish right there. Now you just demonstrated that "Tom" bothered you.

Her: Well i didnt know you were waiting I thought you ment later I figured you knew I had class and I would call after that?
ME: Umm yeah thats why i called again?
Her: comon I should have called im sorry but is this worth fighting over.
Me: yeah because your letting another man interfere with commmunicating with me.thats a red flag to me

Please tell me you didn't actually say "red flag".
I know we say to call out women for their crap, but something like this? You basically are demonstrating incongruence with her earlier comments about Tom. You're displaying nothing but insecurity. Women love drama, when THEY cause it, but not when you are the one causing it. If she doesn't respond to you about going... then you go WITHOUT her or invite someone else.

Was it because you kept having the jealous thoughts going through your head about her and Tom?

then later i got this.
Her: I am sick of fighting i care about you i didnt cheat on you and i am not interested in another man but i dont think either one of us wants to be in a relationship that is a constant fight and that is all that we seem to do.
ME: wow.. your breaking up over text
Her: I dont want to break up.
Me: well then we need to talk tonight! call me when you get off work.

I bet she won't call.
I bet you'll get tired of waiting... will call yourself and then you'll begin an argument as to why she didn't call you soon enough.
And yes, she was breaking up with you over text, because she probably doesn't want to deal with you in person, because you are coming off as over-bearing, insecure, and jealous.

So tonight when we talk im just going to tell her what i want in a relationship and if she cant meet up to my criteria im just going to move on. I feel that was ridiculouse she didnt even call me. Now please if im acting way out of hand or in any other way than you guys would do correct me or give me some advice. But basically tonight im gonna tell her what I want out of this relationship How I feel she should act. Ex. calling me back when as soon as she gets a chance regardless whose around. school is a good reason not to call back but hanging out with somone else is not.

Advice suggestions corrections feel free and thank you!

Sometimes people get busy or get caught up in the moment and can't call right away when you want them too. You just have to chill and continue going on through your day as normal.

I had something similar happen to me once. I texted her something and it took her 4 hours to get back to me. Had I been you, I would have called her at hour 2, gotten into an argument over nothing and then made a situation worse. She got back to me later and told me she had something come up... no biggie. Done deal.

But don't pull her into arguments, that's stuff women do. Leave the drama to them. Something about this "Tom" rocked your world. Take a DEEP look into yourself... your inner game needs some retooling.

And if she calls you tonight, be level-headed... she's already going to be calling you expecting a fight, so she'll be on the defensive right away... IF she calls.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

Okay thanks for calling me out on my sh!t kailex I see where your coming from. But don't you think I should have been the priority?
IF she calls to talk tonight what is your reccomendation on doing then?

 

[sodbuster]

Just tell her, look, I go out to lunch with friends that happen to be girls. When I do, I answer YOUR calls because you are more important to me than they are.BUT I don't talk long because that would be disrespecting them and their time. Let that sit in her brain for a bit.But have some names of girls ready to go-you should have had lunch with someone that you could mention[if not lie this time][but next time have someone else for real]. Keep her thinking she could be replaced in 2 minutes. Without saying it.