"Impress me. NOW!"

[STR8UP]

Recently I noticed something. It isn't the first time it has happened, although it took me awhile to piece together what was going on.

I was hanging out with some friends of mine, one of whom had a couple of female friends who were visiting from out of town.

We were all headed out to party, and everyone stopped by my house on the way out.

So I meet these two girls. Friendly enough. We had a few drinks at my place. I wasn't feeling a spark with the ladies, but you could tell that they were sizing me up.

I wasn't out to impress anyone. I was probably tired from working all day, and when we were out, one of the girls asked me if I was having a good time. It seems that since I wasn't being as social as she WANTED me to be, she was questioning whether or not I was having a good time with them. It was almost like they had built up this expectation of me and I wasn't living up to it.

Some of this could have to do with my friend, and that he might have built me up to these chicks before we even met. I pretty much know this is at least partially the case because we were talking business for awhile and the ladies seemed to already know a little bit about me and my projects and were visibly impressed by the stuff I am doing.

So anyway, the next night they were still in town and we all went out again.

When they first got to my place I poured everyone drinks and the ladies walked over to check out an antique painting i have. I approached them and started talking about the painting. I told them a little about what I knew of the painting and we also talked about some of the other paintings i have.

Not long into the convo one of the girls comes out and says something to the effect of "I like you better tonight".

It was meant to be a compliment, I'm sure, but it made me think.

It's almost like women expect you to put on a dog and pony show for them.

I don't go out of my way to impress anyone. If I am having a bad day and my energy level is low, i shouldn't have to feel like I need to "pick it up" just to live up to others expectations. Like I said, it might have to do with my reputation preceding me, so to speak, but this isn't the first time something like this has happened.

I suppose it's a good sign. If she's paying attention that means she's interested. I just don't like to feel as if I am constantly being judged even though I know that I always am

Anyone else notice this?

 

[STR8UP]

I think she just genuinely liked you better because you were in a better mood.

I think you might be reading into it too much.

I know we are all being sized up and judged by others every day, but when it's BLATANT like this it just makes it seem as though you are under a spotlight, your every move being scrutinized.

 

[Phyzzle]

Yep, I'm gonna agree. She just liked you better the second night.

What, you've never qualified (after the DHV)?

 

[DJDamage]

Notice!? how can you not notice!?

This is what sometimes p1ss me off if I happen to hang out in a group with women in them. Women are bad entertainer's they themsleves usually cannot and I repeat CANNOT talk about anything significant that can be an interesting conversation for a man or funny for a long period of time. However they themsleves sit there and expect someone from the group to take control and crack jokes like Dane Cook. Then they have the audacity to ignore you because you failed to entertain them but they DIDN'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO TRY TO ENTERTAIN YOU and they are holding this against you.

Its the power they have, since the prettier they are, the less they have to say and the more the guys want to entertain and as a result they are used to this sort of treatment.

 

[Bonhomme]

Yeah, that does seem kinda odd. But as wjh said, someone may have built you up to her, after which she had some sort of elevated initial expectations.

One other tip off for me is when a gal asks me my age too early on. I always act puzzled and keep 'em guessing (usually quite literally by turning it into a sort of game), but know it's because they're interested in me, and trying to dig for information to see if I meet their "criteria."

 

[Deep Dish]

It's almost like women expect you to put on a dog and pony show for them.

Yes, they do. The world of men is at their fingertips, they know it, and they live up the phrase "Live life to its fullest." If the parasite woman on the couch, the plaything and amusement of men, be the permanent and final manifestation of female human life on the planet, then that couch is also the death-bed of human evolution.

Of course, mating through natural selection all makes sense from an evolutionary biology vantage point.

 

[edger]

"the plaything and amusement of men"

Hehe, don't ya just love it.

 

[squirrels]

If you're having a bad day and feeling low, you shouldn't be at a party unless you expect the high energy of the environment to help perk you up. Going to a party and being in a "funk" is like going to a mosque with a yarmulke on. You just don't belong there.

Usually when a girl says this to me, it's meant as an opener. As in, "You're cute, but you don't look like much fun. But I could be wrong, so I'm making this comment to see if you might be interesting after all."

You're right that you shouldn't be expected to be high-energy and social all the time for a woman's benefit, but what about your OWN benefit? Wouldn't YOU like to be happy and sociable more often anyway?

 

[STR8UP]

If you're having a bad day and feeling low, you shouldn't be at a party unless you expect the high energy of the environment to help perk you up. Going to a party and being in a "funk" is like going to a mosque with a yarmulke on. You just don't belong there.

I wasn't really having a bad day, I just wasn't the social butterfly these chicks wanted or expected me to be. I WAS probably a bit on the tired side on the Friday when we went out. The next night i knew I didn't have to work until noon so I was a bit more chipper.

The point is, even though these chicks thought they were complimenting me, it was more of an unintentional backhand compliment or an insult. It was basically like they were telling me that i wasn't measuring up to their criteria or expectations or whatever on the first night. i don't like feeling that I need to live up to someone else's standards to ba accepted as "worthy", and that's exactly how it felt.

 

[jophil28]

Women assume that all men want to impress all women all of the time. It is their bloated egos which love to believe that they are so desired that men will endlessly jump thru hoops to get their attention ..Women hold the view that men are endlessly seeking sex from them and that we base our life propulsions in this pursuit. NOte how pissed they get when they are not pursued or are treated with indifference. It is as if they regard male attention as their life long entitlement.
Dumb bytches.

 

[Vulpine]

The point is, even though these chicks thought they were complimenting me, it was more of an unintentional backhand compliment or an insult. It was basically like they were telling me that i wasn't measuring up to their criteria or expectations or whatever on the first night. i don't like feeling that I need to live up to someone else's standards to ba accepted as "worthy", and that's exactly how it felt.

I have seen this scenario also, STR8UP. I know exactly what you are getting at. It's that little emotional spewage that tips you off that you are being judged and they are on the fence...

"You're a lot more fun today."
"I'm glad you're in a better mood today."
"Wow, you sure are in a crazy mood today!"
"I didn't know you were this much fun!"

Translation:
"I heard you might be an ƒ option. But, I was undecided and perhaps even uninterested during/after the previous encounter. This time around you are doing a better job of jumping through my hoops/entertaining me/impressing me."

Whether or not you were trying to impress/entertain/qualify is irrelevant - they just tilt their hand unknowingly and their thoughts tumble out of their mouths. "Ok, I've made up my mind: Let's ƒuck..."

Usually these little scenarios are humorous in retrospect. When you think back and replay the initial encounter, usually the woman was p¡ssy or demanding. And since you had only just met her, you are left thinking: "Wow, this chick is kind of a b¡tch." Thus, the first encounter was unintentionally played perfectly as far as attraction building goes.

So, yeah STR8UP, it's like women's default setting is "all men want to ƒuck me, so all men are always TRYING to ƒuck me, or at least SHOULD be trying". They essentially judge interactions based on a false assumption... "Oh my gawd! That's no way for a guy who wants to ƒuck me to act!"

 

[STR8UP]

When you think back and replay the initial encounter, usually the woman was p¡ssy or demanding. And since you had only just met her, you are left thinking: "Wow, this chick is kind of a b¡tch." Thus, the first encounter was unintentionally played perfectly as far as attraction building goes.

That hasn't really been the case for me (being pissy or demanding).

Especially this time. These chicks were very friendly and engaging the first day, I guess I just wasn't matching or elevating their "mood".

The whole thing that pisses me off though is that despite the fact that these chicks meant well, it seems that like the rest of them, they want the guy to be the one to bring on the party. Entertain ME, dammit!

 

[MacAvoy]

Straight, your suffering from too much of a free thing. I remember there was a time when my A game was the bomb, I lived in a small town, some might call it a one horse town, I chose to make the most of it. I literally fvcked as many women in that town as humanly possible, it got to the point where I couldn't go to the bar on a Friday night and not find 3 women I didn't sleep with (that were single or attractive). Ok most nights, you couldn't find 3 women period that I didn't sleep with (counting the married and ugly ones too towards the end).

But my point is this, it all wears thin after a while and you need something different. You had a great run recently with all these different "open" encounters, i for one wouldn't trade the experiences I had with lets say less than wholesome women, but like everything else, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Thats probably why I go from one extreme to another, goin from havin 3 somes to datin Ms.HolierThanNow from one week to the next. I don't know if I made sense but my point is variety is the spice of life, whether your lookin for the white picket fence or to fufill your fantasies.