"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Impossible woman...

dookie

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The following is about a girl who is much older than I am... she is attractive and has some "game," or over all... good people skills. I am not exactly interested in a relationship with her being friends with or without benefits would be no prob. I KNOW that she will have a great time if we hand out... but I am having a hard time getting it across to her. We have suggested to each other that we should hang out but when it comes time for it... at least for the last couple of times, she has some sort of excuse. She has complemented me several times... on how I dress, I have complemented mabe two times tops... When we talk its usually good convo, I throw in CF but I think I may have crossed the line with too much ****y and not enuf of the funny stuff hehe. I need your opinion on if they sound legitimate or not and what I could do next (I have my own opinion on it as well). She doesn't like confrontations... at all... so it could be her just saying yes... in the moment to not go deeper into the issue or her way of not damaging my ego hehe

Basically... it started months ago with her mentioning that she really wanted to go to a animated movie which I thought was totally stupid, I took it as a sign of interest but I suggested a different movie. I think I should have agreed to the movie instead of standing ground. We didn't end up going.

Move to month two, she was talking about being a good dancer, I suggested that we take Salsa together or have her teach me a few basic moves (Can I use that to test jealousy? EX: Show me a few moves so I can dance with a girl I am going on a date with? or would that be a bad move?)

Earlier this month, I asked if she wanted to watch a movie..., which I really wanted to watch. It was on Thursday, I asked that she call me and let me know if she can or cannot go on Saturday. I did not call or confront her about it... reason being that I didn't care *that* much about going with her in particular (please comment if you think otherwise). I think what I did wrong was ask her too much in advance and not call on Saturday to verify the "hangout."

Now we shift to earlier this week... Saturday, I got home, my friends were going out and I called her to see if she wanted to join me. I called, got the answering machine and I didn't leave a msg. On Sunday was a big group meeting and wasn't planning to mention it, cuz I thought it might seem desperate... After the meeting she said she was glad that I came cuz it was snowing and the meeting was important, which is why she didn't answer the phone yesterday, thinking that I was going to make a excuse. I told her that I was calling to see if you wanted to go out. She replied oh, you should have left a msg. (sign of interest? I thought so...)

Come Sunday, I figured I would ask her this last time about the movie and get a definite about the day and time. I said lets go to a movie today, and she thought about it a bit and said what time is it, and I knew "today" won't work out because she had work very early in the morning and the movie was playing late. I looked at the schedule book to see which day I thought would work for me and her (she wasn't around). After about 25mins, I asked when her day off is... she said Tuesday. I said ok, do you wana go then? She said, I can't my mom is visiting me then... I didn't try to arrange a date further than that, thinking that she might think that I am trying to take her out or date her.

This week, I am planning to ask her to hang out for the last time... until she suggests it. There is a party coming up for a friend. Plan is to ask her if she has something going on the same day as the party. If not then, I’ll tell her that she's coming with me... then take some paper and hand it to her, for directions for her house and to be ready by a specific time. I could maybe go as far as tell her that I might have to change at her place (or would that be too much since I haven't hung out with her b4?) IF she says that she has plans... then I plan to give her the old line... "Cancel them; you will have a great time with me."

I don't know if this matters... or mabe you guys can suggest how I could play it to my advantage: She wants to celebrate valenties but doesn't have a date. A girl asked her about it and she (the girl I like) was on my left side. She looked at me, mentioned that she didn't have a date, looked back at the other girl and then back at me and said "I might have to hire one if I don't get one soon." I thought it was a hint... or mabe its wishful thinking.

PS: Does this sound desperate at all, or that I am trying to hard or not trying hard enuf? I look forward to your responses, your opinions will really help me with this matter.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Andromax

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sounds to me like you are focusing to much on a female, and not on yourself.


But....

You know...


Could be just me with all that obsessive talk about this girl of your dreams that you have no idea if she LIKES you!!


Please.

Do yourself a favor a reach down your pants.

Grab ahold of your testicles.

I imagine they are there.


Ahhh there they are, right??!

Now,

You know that they are there,

Take control and stop wonderin what is going on with this relationship.

Assume that she is IMMENSLEY interested in you.

Assume that she enjoys your company.

Because if you are following the DJ lifestyle she will!

Now while she is worrying about the next time she will get to see you, you ought to be worrying about how you can improve yourself for YOU!!

Think long term, for yourself ;)
 

Sart

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yeah

Im with Andromax....now lets get back away from these pathetic afc posts huh?
 

dookie

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Thx for the replies... AS I see it, I am evaluating my "homework" as a I learn this stuff. I already have the feeling (it hasn't quite reached gut level yet) that girls that I approach or not like me and will love me when they get to know me. I might have a inner game probs but so far it doesn't have to do with that particual self-image. What I wrote down was what I observed and learned from... Things I didn't understand or didn't do well are what I am questioning. So excuse the self-analysis or excessive detail. I didn't want to leave things out which I thought would be crutial to awnser my questions.

I have read and re-read articles on this forum aswell as others. This is a work related situation so I am using what I have learned with caution. Yea, this post sounds AFC to me too but I am "obsessing" over this gal the reason being, I want to find out what I am doing wrong and how I can do it correctly when I am in a similar situation next time.
 
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