Immanent break up or sh1t test?

[Ozel599]

Two year relationship.

Rented a place together about 3 months ago. All was well, apart from her becoming bossy and asking me to do things - of which many times I stood my ground.

Yesterday she had a job interview, same place just a different department. She was unsure and not too fussed about going. In the end she got the job anyway, then complained asking why I didn't text her good luck.

While I'm at work, it gets crazily busy and I'm always advising my staff not to use their mobiles. So I can't really set a bad example, and only use mine if its business related.


Today she sends this email:

"Can we talk when you get home, I'm not happy anymore with us and I'm
Thinking about moving back home for abit, yesterday when I received no message from you about the job my heart sank I was gutted, and when your reason was cause you wAs stuck doing work it mad me think about us!!! I don't seemed to able to get you to listen to me you always have you back up or a reason, I don't wanna spilt up with you just us living together has changed our relationship!!!!

Sorry xxxx I love you lots xxxxx

Sent from my iPhone"


I am prepared for the worst. When she says "back home", thats with her parents... and if she does genuinely want to do this I know I have no option but to end the relationship all together.

I've got that horrible pit in my stomach feeling.

 

[dap]

It's hard to say whether this is a shiit test. If not, it is just an excuse for her wanting to move back with her parents for other reasons. It definitely has nothing to do with how you didn't text her that day. I would handle it by telling her that you "support her decision either way" (ie, you are unaffected by it) and that your work is very important to you so that she will have to understand if the relationship is going to work out. I wouldn't get too worked up about it (or at least not appear to).

 

[betheman]

This looks terminal to me, either that or she is extremely immature.
she is making excuses and blaming you, sh!tty reasons really, as usual the disclaimer applies...another guy on her radar. stay cool, start packing your stuff, unless you want to stay and take over the rent. be very indifferent, she is disrespecting you, cut your losses, no emotion to be shown in front of her or to her, no whining, just go about your life like she is a strange fat whale

 

[Who Dares Win]

Your unsent text is not relevant, she decided for such action and she just used that non-sense to take any blame away from her.

Major red flag, doesnt matter if its a sh1t test or not as we agreed any girl which likes you wont do anything to get distance from you or piss you off, not even confuse you.

So listen at the guys above, be non affected as Dap suggested while at the same time be very ready to prepare to leave the place as Betheman told you, its very likely that you poeple are gonna break up.

However if you manage it enough her ego could push her to work more on you, not because she got her interest back but because you didnt give her ego fix by screaming,crying and moaning for her departure.

She could just try to make it work only to come up with some sh1t soon enough, given this frame from the first post I would suggest you to prepare to move on and be disconnected from her and the possible drama she could create.

Very important, I talk by experience, when you show that her decision doesnt affect you she will be ego hurt and will try to double dosing it by throwing some bait, something like "you dont care about me" or
even provoking you in heavier ways to unbalance your state, so dont crumble after this further attack.

Actually I believe all this thing of the looking for a non-sense to leave a guy is one of the major suggestion they get in those girly magazines as much as the suggestion to strike more in case of a non reactive
responce from the boyfriend, this trick happened to me and some other friends as well so beware.

 

[Ozel599]

Cheers for the heads up. This isn't the first time she's created situations like this (usually less minor) I have yet to see her actually do something.

It's like she wants an over affectionate boyfriend attending to all her wants/requests, not doing so encourages her to up the b1tch dosage as you say.

 

[GotED?]

I must say, you had just picked up what I call a 'He-She'..... some women are more masculine (or a lot more these days rather), some women are more feminine. The choice is what type of woman you WANT, not what type of woman that comes into your life BY CONVENIENCE and start a relationship with.

After 40 years, I have realized in the past I never LOOKED AND WANTED what I NEEDED. I just settled for what was CONVENIENT - that means women that somehow you meet in life just by coincidence, convenience. You never gave her a deep checklist of things to compare against, just that she has a vag, she is into you, you pedestaled her and blinded by her hotness, and you recipricate and it works for a while.

What a waste of time, eh?? Now my point to your post is here:

You have on your hands, a woman with higher level of testosterone - I been with these women in the past, unconsciously; because my own mother was a very masculine woman who was high maintenance, emotional drama queen, hard to satisfy, NEVER happy after a while, moved every 2-3 years, HIGHLY conflict driven. I was conditioned like Pavlov the Dog, to feel most at ease with a masculine woman like my mother, but doesn't mean it is GOOD for me at all - rather horribly wrong. Learn from your conditioning by your parents, you spend your whole entire life undoing the sh*t your parents put in your head.

Your girlfriend sounds very demanding, conflict driven, and hard to keep happy. These are signs of a woman who is definitely more masculine. The feminine woman KNOWS she complements a man, and would not try to out smart him or lose respect for HER man. A masculine woman try to dominate you and disrespect you due to the feminism and woman power sh*t fooking up their brain these days.

Unfortunately, a good feminine woman is VERY hard to find these days. I suggest you cut your losses and be thankful that you are not married to her and she takes your 50% or more in the end of the day at divorce. LOOK for a real woman - someone who treats you like a king.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Trump]

Two year relationship.

Today she sends this email:

"Can we talk when you get home, I'm not happy anymore with us and I'm
Thinking about moving back home for abit, yesterday when I received no message from you about the job my heart sank I was gutted, and when your reason was cause you wAs stuck doing work it mad me think about us!!! I don't seemed to able to get you to listen to me you always have you back up or a reason, I don't wanna spilt up with you just us living together has changed our relationship!!!!

Sorry xxxx I love you lots xxxxx

Sent from my iPhone"

I've got that horrible pit in my stomach feeling.

Love how women protect themselves with such ease. She took all the pressure off herself and put it on you that it's your fault, she tried to love you but no response back to her shattered her. Give me a break.

Response "Sure we can talk, we always talk to each other after work."

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Let me get this straight, you are in a relationship with a girl for 2 years, she tells you she is unhappy and your "only option" is to end the relationship?

 

[vatoloco]

She's been looking for "an out" for some time now.

She found one: the new sense of empowerment from a new job made your lack of text message the catalyst.

This relationship is finished. Time to spin [a] new plate, my friend.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Response: "What matters most is being happy so always listen to your feelings."

This shows you care about her feelings but you've also shown you are not in any way upset or over-emotional.

 

[3countriesPlan]

your girl is gone dude she already gave up on things. Yep, priorities will shift further from you and she will begin to get busier as well as cite your arguments and blame your bad temper for messing things up. Notice these arguments will actually be started by her but in her logic it is your bad temper that is driving her away. Think of her as someone who wants to jump off a building.. you try to convince them not to and maybe you will be successful a few times but one of those times they are just going to jump so its better not to waste a lot of time or energy on trying to fix anything.. shes making her move and its a move to end things.

 

[QuadDeuces]

You've got two advantages because of her sending you that mail.

1) you have time to prepare yourself
2) the ball is in her court

 

[Ozel599]

Well here were the results.

Came home and she was doing the quiet distant thing, no mention of her email until I brought it up.

I was agreeing with her calmly saying "OK, maybe that would be best if you are unhappy". She just walked out without saying a word, I didn't contact her. She came back 15 minutes later all apologetic etc. etc. Later she admitted she was actually just walking aimlessly around a local shopping centre wondering what the fvck just happened.

Now she seems to have gone all caring going on about marriage, saying if I asked her she would say yes.

In the meantime, I slipped up and cheated on her. The sex has become boring and less frequent. Was chatting to this girl on FB (a different account that I only use for a facebook fan page), my g/f was out for the night and I was horny as fvck. Stupidly I feel better for it, this girl wanted to do what my g/f won't do to me wouldn't give up until I exploded in her mouth.

It's like I had all these fantasies, tried them out and they didn't turn out to be so great and now I feel content that I've been there and done it.

It is nothing to be proud of, and I don't feel any guilt.

 

[VladPatton]

Holding your ground with indifference always works, it's pretty amazing. It destroys the ʂhit they read in magazines. Either way, think about where YOU want to go with this chick.

Good luck.

 

[Dominance]

It's pretty much over if she has said all that.

When you get the old 'we need to talk' then it's close to the end. Cliche but true.