I'm wondering if this is where I'm going wrong

[R1ch4rd]

I lost alot of weight, still got a little belly, and baby fat here and there, but im loosing it as we speak.(diet and excersise btw lol)

Now I'm good looking, I normall get rated 8.5/9. and i'm "cute" hot. i think there is a difference lol.

Now Im naturally a very adventerous and funny person. I'm really not petty, and I've noticed my self esteem and confidence. Now I never seem to "attract" girls. Now i was thinking of two reasons.

1st. When my mates(boys) talk about a fit girl/teacher and I go shy, and just agree. Sexual shyness?
2nd. I can't flirt, I never find myself flirting, it's really unatural for me.
3rd.Also I don't dance, even after getting tipsy, I can't have a fluent conversation. I wonder if this is shyness. But at parties I'm still alert etc that comes so natural to me arghhhh

How can I improve these things?


Also I have another sub question.
I had this girl mate, and me and my other mate used to tease her, and we got quite close, then I had this really wierd period and said I hated all my girl mates.
That's gone, and I do remember talking to her and telling her I never hated her. Now that was about 4-5 months ago.

I saw her about 2 months after this incident, maybe more. We had all gotten over it, I heard no more, and I was fine with my girl mates again. Since I've seen her again she doesn't seem to be "friendly", she kinda gives me the cold shoulder. I see my other mates get along fine with her, they talk, dance etc. But with me there is just a wierd akwardness. What I get with NOOO one other but her.

The other day was my bday and all the other girls even ones I didnt know would give me a hug, but she wouldn't start anything, and I only had a sloppy hug the second time I saw her that night. Does this mean anything?

 

[Dedication]

Its great that you are working on your body and you want to improve on your game now. Here's what you have to do:

1 Talk with your mates about your sex fantasy's.
2 Flirt Flirt Flirt untill its natural. Don't quit, EVAH!
3 I dance like ****. But i move freely because i don't give a sh it what other people think of me.

There are no short cuts and no magic tricks that will make you other then experience. Actually experience is the magic. Now you have to find somebody to answer that sub question and you are God.

 

[R1ch4rd]

Thanks dedication. I would like the "sub question" answered, I don't want to post another thread for it. Make is seem like a AFC question lol

 

[jeffthechef]

flirt..it's easier than you think...to start out.,..you don't need to get sexual...when you first begin flirting...simply talk about regular stuff...but the importnat part...is the eye and physical contact....maintain eye ocntact and smile a lot...facial expressions...and kino...if a girl smiles a lot while you guys talk...it's a good sign...most uninterested girls...will give a brief heh...or "ohh" smile...you shoul dbe able to dtell the difference

as for your subquestion...you said it yourself...it is afc
don't concern yourself with what a girl is thinking...it makes no difference what she's thinking...she may be thinking you're ugly one day...and after 1 minute with you..she might think you're the sexiest man alive...

 

[R1ch4rd]

I think I need to find some good kino stuff.
The girl what I said was seeming "unfriendly". Today saw her, I said hi, you alright, then agion in the day I talked to her, and brought up this joke we had between us, she laughed and liked it. And because it's snowing here she ran behind me for protection, and she held my arm when my other mates were doing something quite dangerous. Not sure if this is a good sign. Also I had some good flirting with this other girl.

There is a party this friday, you have to be 18, but im 16. It's somebody doing Djing and it's some club. I don't have many smart clothes, need some cool shoes, coat/jacket and shirt. But here in london its really heavy snow and everything is stopped(buses, trains) and I may have college, and the part is Friday.

Also I don't know anyone goin there, a couple of mates are and that girl.

I know you shouldn't do excuses. But If I can't look good/feel good my confidence will drop. I would like to walk there with some ****ing cool clothes and my sexy hairstyle.

 

[CaptainJ]

Snow!!!

 

[R1ch4rd]

Yeah its well cool. Shame everything like trains are stopped. Like to travel around a bit see places in the snow, make a change and look pretty cool. Snow and evening light mmmmm lol.

Anyway back on topic

 

[CaptainJ]

Just go down my local park, which has a huge hill, good for sledging and huge snowball fights.

 

[VeesBoss]

Congrats on losing the weight. It sounds like your excess weight had you out of the game and the loss of the weight has you back in the game. Use the momentum that you have to further improve your confidence. As far as your list: ask yourself why you are struggling with these three things. Are you struggling with sexual conversation with your mates because, while you were "out of the game" you weren't bringing women home while they were? Are you uncomfortable with the fact that they've spent the last while experiencing their fantasies? If so, then continue to nod and smile until you experience your own fantasies and then you'll be able to share, feeling confident and successful (I would recommend not comparing your nights with those of your friends).
Good luck.

 

[R1ch4rd]

Congrats on losing the weight. It sounds like your excess weight had you out of the game and the loss of the weight has you back in the game. Use the momentum that you have to further improve your confidence. As far as your list: ask yourself why you are struggling with these three things. Are you struggling with sexual conversation with your mates because, while you were "out of the game" you weren't bringing women home while they were? Are you uncomfortable with the fact that they've spent the last while experiencing their fantasies? If so, then continue to nod and smile until you experience your own fantasies and then you'll be able to share, feeling confident and successful (I would recommend not comparing your nights with those of your friends).
Good luck.

I've never had a girlfrind or had sex lol. I kind of started my teenage years 2 years late. I've caught up now. I've got a little belly, and bit of lve handles, I'm still muscular and got a decent body I've been told, but I feel I'm not sexually attract, and wouldn't want to bring up sex, because I don't have the flat stomach. That's where it's steming from.

 

[CaptainJ]

Well you know the supposed root of the problem, now work to fix it. If you really think it's your belly that's holding you back (Which I doubt) then do sit ups and tone that stomach, it's not hard.

 

[VeesBoss]

I've never had a girlfrind or had sex lol. I kind of started my teenage years 2 years late. I've caught up now. I've got a little belly, and bit of lve handles, I'm still muscular and got a decent body I've been told, but I feel I'm not sexually attract, and wouldn't want to bring up sex, because I don't have the flat stomach. That's where it's steming from.

Well, it takes work. The first place you gain weight is your stomach and, consequently, the last place you lose weight is your stomach; so you'll just have to continue to work at tightening up. In the meantime, I wouldn't let it hold you down. You're already two years late, like you said. Don't prolong the best years of your life any longer.

 

[R1ch4rd]

Well you know the supposed root of the problem, now work to fix it. If you really think it's your belly that's holding you back (Which I doubt) then do sit ups and tone that stomach, it's not hard.

Its all in the pipeline man. I've had about 2 weight loss plateaus. Been losing it for a year with about 5 months on a diet with no weight loss. I suppose i didn't do enough excerise, but juggling my life, and still plowing on as weaken my motivation over and over again. But what about that AFC question i posted in the post before this. I'm just curious is any masters of female mind or ones who could answer that for me, I would appreciate it

 

[intrextrovert]

To lose weight and look good:

1)Lift weights (you will look better period. you will not look like arnold) Squats, bench press, and pullups are essential.
2)Do sprints. Sprint for 30 sec or however long you can than walk for equal time or less, then sprint again etc. until you feel like you're going to fall over. This is on every non squatting day.
3)Eat whatever you want, preferably a lot of meat and protein. Protein/power bars/shakes are good too.

Anyway OP just talk to girls more and go out of your comfort zone. Throw yourself in the pool to learn to swim.