Im turning AFC :/

[DJsparky]

Broke up with my ex bout 4 days ago, out of a 6 months relationship. It got cold and distant, so i broke it before she did it to me.

This is what i dont get, im not over her but i hate her guts. I had my game going with her all the way, then her uncle died, i then naturally tried to make her happy etc. When bad stuff happened to me she wasnt there for me at all, she'd always talk about horse riding like a 5 year old, shes utterly selfish with money and possesions, shes a b!tch and when someones down she tries to get all the sympathy, selfish attention ***** (rant over)

Anyways the fact is i hate her guts but im finding it hard to get over her, i cut all contact with her and it hurts, maybe im going through some little depression due to things that happened which she was gonna break up with me in that time zone, thats how evil this girl is.

i need help not to be an afc :/

 

[flexion_]

These are things you go through when you lose someone you care about: shock, anger and sadness.

It just takes time bro. Finding another woman to fill the void speeds up this process. Good luck.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

mate didn't i offer u advice on another thread...i know how u feel, u probably felt good after reading my advice, and a couple of hours later all the old hurt comes back. I've been there before, don't give in.

If it helps, here's my story. Same **** to you, got used and abused, and lied to, I gave her my world etc. She dumped me even though I was the one giving and giving and giving, and she was the one lying and taking and flaking (and possibly cheating, i suspect but never found proof)...

After she dumped me, I should have been happy right? Give my love to someone who deserves it? No, I went to her at 3am in the morning and she won't open the door, wouldn't answer my calls. My friend called her the next day and she replied that she had nothing to say to me. He asked her what she was doing, she said she was having lunch with her friends.

So I kept calling, not to get her back, but just to get some emotional closure. She just got ****ier and ****ier. Started playing mind games. I wrote a long love letter telling her my feelings, and she replied that it was too late. Anyway in the end I got real pissed off ( I was outside her house at 3am in the rain and she didn't open the door - when she was the one lying and taking and cheating?)... and I called her using someone else's phone (she wouldn't pick up my calls), and I told her she was the biggest evil fvcking slvt in the world.

and all of a sudden i'm the arsehole, i'm the uncouth rude bastard, and all her friends thought i was an evil bastard.

THere's a lot more. That one week was hell, but my AFC clinginess made it a thousand times worse then it had to be.

So there. Don't call her. It won't work, both ways. You want her back? She'll laugh at you and play her games. You tell her off? You're the bad guy, and all her friends will think you're the one who's been playing her all the time. I cringe to think of how bad I was then....

honestly mate, I know it hurts. BUT FVCK HER! DO NOT CALL HER! I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO LISTEN, BUT YOU HAVE TO! MOVE ON!

Hey, since this *****, I had no where to go but up right? I was shattered for months. But what did I do after? I went out and got laid. Broke a long dry spell (yes she told me she was a virgin and i believed her so I didn't even try to fvck her, that's how AFC I was)...

Then i got into this community, and I realised what I did when I got my one night stands was exactly what the ebooks teach. I just did it by accident (or my true male self was coming out again, after being castrated by the hor). Then I realised that the stuff that they preach here is THE REAL DEAL. And here I am on a 24 hour journey of self-improvement.

In a way...what happened to you is good. Be strong, don't lose self-respect, and use it as catalyst to change.

 

[DJsparky]

ive done great with that not calling her, its just the fact shes turned me into a complete afc that i need to get my skills back lol

 

[TheFlyingMan]

well...erm...like i said in the other thread,...go to the strippers, go get drunk with the boys, go get a hooker or something....the best thing to do is to go and get a new girl, but probably given that you are so depressed it's hard to get up the confidence to get a new lady...

I dunno...maybe just stay home for a few days and let the grief run its course...it's a natural process....give it a week or so, see how you feel, and reconsider your options: sarge, or more time?

if you need more time, no worries, take another week, then reconsider your options. Take as much time as you need, don't worry about forcing yourself out of depression, that stuff don't work. My hor gave me clinical depression for a few months, can you believe that? At the end of the year, I went overseas for a holiday and got laid like crazy and my depression disappeared LOL.

i still think of her once in a while, but I think that's normal unless you are such a master DJ that you have 4 girls on the go at the same time.

hope that helps mate, chin up, and be a man!