"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I'm trying to seduce a spinning-top! Help me!

Aerospace

Don Juan
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It's true: as long as you play it cool and pretend you don't give a **** about a girl, she'll literally beg for your attention.

I knew this girl. We had a chance to have a first date. There was no kiss-close but it worked very well. She displayed a lot of IOIs (indications of interest) and I tried my best to seem a super-suave womanizing machine.

Some days I just forgot to write something to her and she sent me messages like "Did you already forget me?", "Are you disappearing from my life?", "Where are you? Sigh..."

Sometime ago, I tried to be more affectionate and kind, and she immediately started to be more distant, to the point of avoiding my company during her birthday. I tried to call her and she was extremely cold and turned angry about a shallow excuse. I felt forced to write a witty apologetic letter to her, but she told me she's growing tired of my ****iness. Go figure...

This morning she sent me an unsolicited sms to tell me 'Good morning!', it made me feel better, I even imagined things could be just as they were. Later today I saw her on the messenger, greeted her, and the only thing she wrote me was: "Please, do not crowd me too much." I don't think sending her two sms a day and a mail once a week is crowding her...

Now, the only solution I can see is ignoring her. Because:

1) If she's interested, she'll wonder whether I'm offended because of her behaviour and will try and arrange things with me.

2) If she's not interested in me, she'll simply ignore me.

I don't know if I should wait three or four days, or even a week, and start to contact her again. I don't want to seem a frustrated chump but it's like I'm doing my best to appear like one.

Help me, my friends. I really feel like crap today.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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librito

Senior Don Juan
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just remember the following,
she is a natural DJ. she is doing exactly what you was doing to her to raise your interest level. she is playing mind games with you.
just go with the flow and dont become obssesed with her because thats what she wants.
do not concentrate all your efforts on this girl alone. you gotta have other prospects competing for your attention or one-ittis is gonna kick in.
dont chase her because thats what she is trying to make you do.
if you start chasing her she will avoid you even more. so, get other girls in the game and that will make you less desperate for her.
if you do this, she will fall in your laps without any effort from you.
and even if she doesnt call you anymore it means that she was never interested and only wanted your attention. its her loss, not yours.
always think about the following quote.

"there are two types of women on earth,
the ones that like me,
and the ones with bad taste"
 

Aerospace

Don Juan
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Gracias, Librito, eres el mejor! ^_^

I called her for the last time today: she told me: "try to understand that my work takes a large portion of my life away, Xmas holidays are over and I've got also the university to attend.". I told her: "I'm not putting my life on hold for you dear, nor am I waiting an entire month just to date you once more." She told me she won't take a month to meet me again. But I don't want to settle for this bullsh*t anymore. I'll ignore her from now on, very simply. Let's see if she has a good taste. :cool:
 

Aerospace

Don Juan
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I see other guys are having the same problem. The hardest part with it is dealing with the fear of not hearing from her anymore. The easiest part out of it should be trying to have other things to take care of... like other girls, or friends or activities...

But is it possible for a girl to be totally uninterested once she already showed signals of 'being in awe' of you, 'caring about your life', and 'wanting to see you as soon as possible'?

Maybe she really is more busy now. There is her work and her midterm examinations... But can't she really find a single evening in a whole week for us to meet?

:confused:
 

Hound_of_Love

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Originally posted by Aerospace
The hardest part with it is dealing with the fear of not hearing from her anymore.
You fear that, but it's the best thing that could happen to you. Don't let yourself get drawn into someone else's games.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Aerospace

Don Juan
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Yes... it's becoming easier to ignore her. What hurts me more is that I'm sure about one thing: if I treated her with more indifference and less respect, she would have had an higher consideration for our relationship.

But I'm sure there are better girls out there, who will feel more attracted to me, and that won't need to be seduced by all this mind tricks to appreciate me.

:(

Erased her number from my phone, and from the Messenger. Let's see what's going to happen.
 
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