I'm too uptight + need help loosening up!

[Jariel]

I have a problem letting go and having fun. I'm able put people at ease, make them laugh and get on with almost anyone in terms of conversation, but when it comes to dancing, messing around and sometimes even intimacy, I find it very hard to loosen up.

I don't drink or use drugs, which is another reason it is so difficult for me. I hate clubs, but every so often I get talked into going by some girl I'm with. However, when it comes to dancing I feel so awkward and out of place. I hate dancing, I hate the music they usually play and I have no interest in clubchicks. When I'm there I often end up with a lot of women eyeing me up and trying to dance/grind with me, but they soon get the message I'm not interested and leave me alone.

In fact, the only reason I ever go to clubs is when I want to score with the girl who asked me to go there, yet I always end up dragging the mood down and making her feel awkward.

This exact thing happened last night. This was even a second chance after I blew it last week, but we ended up leaving early and the girl thinks I have a problem with her.

I'm just wondering how other guys manage to relax on a night out without alcohol or drugs?

 

[Andromax]

Simple man,

Do things that YOU enjoy doing! Are you listening to yourself?

You said you hated that crap, so how are you going to relax? You cant force yourself to relax and enjoy it, so why bother?

What do you like to do to relax?


You like to mountain bike? Golf? Smoke cigars?

Instead of being dragged to the club by your date and being out of place, take her to something that you enjoy doing.

Whatever that is. Hiking, roller blading ... whatever..



Geez man, clubs arent the only social avenue available on the planet.

 

[Jariel]

Hey, I totally agree and if it was a date I would never choose to go to a club. However, it's the perfect place to make a move on a girl, and this often why girls invite guys to go clubbing. They get close and flirty, the guy makes a move and they're set for the night, and perhaps longer.

I figure it's done more in Britain than elsewhere, but scoring in clubs seems to be a popular alternative to asking for a date. So there are advantages to clubs if you can fit in.

 

[DeathDealer]

Well you can't just loosen up just cause you want to. It comes with confidence... socially confident ..able to have a conversation with people and keeping focused on conversation.

If you're uptight at clubs cause of the sudden spike in testosterone or estrogen.. then you might want to stay away from clubs. I feel comfortable going to the gym or hiking and talking to people. But I just can't cut it in the clubs and talking REAL LOUD with alcohol coarsing in my system. Besides the club atmosphere..only fake people can survive there cause it's all smoke and mirrors.