Im too hard to read/work out ?

[betheman]

heard this from an ex today, she said she never knew where she stood. Im pretty sarcastic, dry sense of humour, not malicious, generally laid back. I know the preachings say we should be a bit aloof, mysterious...maybe Im overdoing it? it isnt deliberate, its not an act, its just me.
maybe she just needs to be in control a bit more or women need more control, she was in tears at one point.
Im a bit confused and a little drunk (rambling excuse logged)

will probably want to delete this thread tomorrow morning!

 

[zekko]

heard this from an ex today, she said she never knew where she stood. Im pretty sarcastic, dry sense of humour, not malicious, generally laid back. I know the preachings say we should be a bit aloof, mysterious...maybe Im overdoing it? it isnt deliberate, its not an act, its just me.

This is definitely possible. I know for a fact that I would have gotten more tail in my lifetime if I were not so aloof. Like you say, a lot of girls have trouble reading me, so they can't tell if I would consider them. You know girls don't like to risk rejection.

Meantime, if a guy comes in who is obviously drooling over her, she will light up like a Christmas tree and engage him. I know this is also against PUA teachings, but it appears to me that if a guy expresses interest in a girl it gets her excited. Meanwhile, unless I am really truly interested in a girl, I will likely remain aloof and not appear interested, even if I may engage her socially.

But again, like you say, it's just me so I accept it. I do okay as it is. If I want to get a girl to react to me, I open up a bit more.

I honestly don't like people who are too flirty, whether they be male or female. People who flirt with everybody they see appear phony to me. I could be like that, but I have no desire to flirt with people I have no genuine interest in.

 

[flashpoint]

chicks need to connect on an emotional level. if you cant do that over time then there is not enough in it for her and she will be gone. it is again like they say, in order to win her you need to risk losing her.

showing her affection and that you like/love her is not the problem. the problem starts when this gives her the power to take it away and leave you out in the cold. now you find an answer to that, how to care but also be able let go at the same time, and your relationships will work much better. but it is really tough if not impossible most of the time.

well and for the PUA teachings, eff that. you dont wanna be a social robot that is as functional as far as his program goes. if you care you care, if you like you like, if you want you want. anything less than that indicates that you think you dont deserve and that is the real problem here.

 

[betheman]

“Meantime, if a guy comes in who is obviously drooling over her, she will light up like a Christmas tree and engage him. I know this is also against PUA teachings, but it appears to me that if a guy expresses interest in a girl it gets her excited. Meanwhile, unless I am really truly interested in a girl, I will likely remain aloof and not appear interested, even if I may engage her socially...

I honestly don't like people who are too flirty, whether they be male or female. People who flirt with everybody they see appear phony to me. I could be like that, but I have no desire to flirt with people I have no genuine interest in.” Zekko

This sounds eerily similar to myself!

“chicks need to connect on an emotional level. if you cant do that over time then there is not enough in it for her and she will be gone. it is again like they say, in order to win her you need to risk losing her.” Flashpoint

I agree with this, little and infrequent is how I do it usually, Ive been the AFC and showered and bathed her in it...I know that is not good, maybe Ive gone too far the other way.

The thing about being ‘hard to read’ is that you rarely get any feedback from other people, its almost like your invisible. You have to be more astute in picking up the subtle clues, Im quite social, good humoured, people seem to like being around me and include me in stuff, but I don’t get that close to may people. Like Zekko, I cant pretend to flirt with people Im not interested in, seems like an inefficient method, that said one of my friends, who isn’t the best looking, flirts like crazy, goes straight into the sexual stuff and women lap it up. That’s just not me though.