I'm Too Damn Picky... Is This A Bad Thing?

[BobCarlton]

I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time, and have only actually had ONE or TWO girlfriends my entire life.

I have no problem meeting women, getting numbers, going on dates, or getting laid. I've hooked up with over 80+ girls now at 25...

But, one thing I notice about myself is that I end up sleeping with girls usually once, twice, or a few times... and THAT'S IT. It's like I'm more addicted to going out and meeting more girls and finding that "perfect" girl or that 10.

I'll end up finding something wrong with the girl and won't commit to actually pursuing them fully or beginning a relationship with them.

I fear that one day I'll be 35 or 40 and still be alone and single, and won't have much relationship experience and won't be able to start a family (I know several guys like this...).

Any advice?

 

[Jeffst1980]

You are young--you are better off avoiding relationships for now, as they will distract you from your career and personal goals. Ten years from now, you will likely be well established and successful, and a relationship will seem much more natural. Even better, because of your success, you will have even MORE options when choosing a mate.

Marriage is the goal of a relationship. There is really no point to entering an LTR unless you think you might want to get married to this person in a couple of years, and there's no point to marrying this person unless you want to raise a family with them. Marriage is FUNCTIONAL, it's not about "love" (although a good marriage should certainly have "love" involved!). Today's western society has a skewed view of the purpose of relationships and marriage in general, which is why so many marriages today end in divorce.

I say worry less and just keep dating and ditching girls. You are unknowingly doing what EVERY guy should do--filtering out women!! You don't "practice" being in relationships; when it feels natural, all that stuff will come easily. If you are forcing yourself to be monogamous when you have no reason to be, you are setting yourself up for failure.

 

[Warrior74]

Wait, what? How is any of that a problem? Trust me at 35 if you want to get married there will be plenty of burgeoning spinsters looking to change their condition, especially if you have your game tight.

 

[Cowboy1015]

You should be picky! You deserve the one that will make you happy.

When I was 29, I was in an LTR until 32. We were suppose to get married until I realized I could do better. I had no girlfriend for 3 years after that. Now, I'm dating a really special girl. And I'm 36 now.

 

[BobCarlton]

All great advice.

I think I feel some sort of "pressure" to have a girlfriend... or the fact that I don't have one means I'm missing out on something or not good enough. Also I tend to compare myself to other guys in relationships and wonder why I don't have that.

 

[JonSirG]

You are young--you are better off avoiding relationships for now, as they will distract you from your career and personal goals. Ten years from now, you will likely be well established and successful, and a relationship will seem much more natural. Even better, because of your success, you will have even MORE options when choosing a mate.

why everyone believes that without a girlfirend you have more time?

still you hunt chicks go on date travel for all the chicks socialize bla bla ..
it costs MUCH more time .. than

having a good women who can entertain herself and being alone sometime
you can see her 3--5 a week and not need to waste time on other chicks -
Than ou can really focus really on your dreams

einstein had a girl while he was doing his prime work 1905
michael jordan was married in his prime
will smith ist married
michael schumacher is married
etc etc

with a stable realtionship life you can achieve ALSO great things...


to bob carlton

try to open yourself for a women you like..and really get to know her ..there is much more in people than we think.. just i know this hunt, when you hunt its fun but its nothing really nothing.. you dont allow yourself to fall in love..stop that ****!
allow yourself to live a girl
she will enrich your life