Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Let me answer that one.jonwon said:Karma:
You suprise me.
MMMM, not sure if that name suits you with that post.
Are we sure where not going down the road of discrimination?
Also, what is your BEEF, with this guy?
dude....what question???? seriouslyAlso STR8UP, you have not answered my QUESTION.
I know you haven't and you KNOW IT TOO.
But you know what it's cool, you know the answer anyway.
I don't give a sh!t if I surprise you, shock you, turn you green with envy, or make you cry. My job is not to have people like me but to give them the opportunity to self explore and grow. If I'm thrown into the bastard role so be it. Idiocy is idiocy. I wasn't stereotyping or racially profiling anyone but if you're going to talk ebonically I'm going to try to make you understand, in your native tongue, that which makes you look foolish. Love me or hate me, I'm still going to sleep better than a baby.jonwon said:Karma:
You suprise me.
MMMM, not sure if that name suits you with that post.
Are we sure where not going down the road of discrimination?
Also, what is your BEEF, with this guy?
Come on be truthful.
And STR8UP does not have to answer anyone for anything. He is a free thinking, self reliant, grammatically sound man who speaks with vigor and clarity and with tremendous aplumb.Also STR8UP, you have not answered my QUESTION.
I know you haven't and you KNOW IT TOO.
But you know what it's cool, you know the answer anyway.
No, he won't. The admin actually gave up on banning him a few months ago. He has been banned between 20 and 30 times, but keeps using dummy I.P.'s to hack into this place to keep posting and posting and posting. Surprising it took this long to start spamming the MM. Poor guy needs a life outside this forum. A lot like Skip2mylou (assuming they are separate people.)STR8UP said:Nice. Now I have a troll following me. At this rate I give it a few weeks till you're banned.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Str8up, I don't know the situation fully. But why didn't you call/text her to see what she was doing and to try to make plans with her? Perhaps you could've invited her to what you ended up doing last night and then took her back to your place or who knows what could've ended up happening.STR8UP said:What a b!tch.
Tells me she is gonna buy me dinner and NEVER EVEN CALLS.
I went out and had a great time anyway, but that's beside the point. No more effort is going into this on my part. If she wants me she knows how to find me.
Dammit Keto! You always manage to find things I hadn't thought of and then I have to rethink it.ketostix said:Str8up, I don't know the situation fully. But why didn't you call/text her to see what she was doing and to try to make plans with her? Perhaps you could've invited her to what you ended up doing last night and then took her back to your place or who knows what could've ended up happening.
When she said she wanted to buy you dinner and would call you, she might've meant it at the time at least. And when Saturday night rolled around, she might've still meant it but she didn't really mean she'd be the one to call you. She very well could've been sitting around wondering the same thing, wondering why you haven't called her. I know she said she'd be the one to call, but it's rare that a girl has been the one to call and finalize the plans even if she said she would IME.
I just get the sense that you're playing it really disinterested with her. Maybe too disinterested. And it's like two people, you and her, are playing the same game. Someone has to act. If you're at the point of intending to drop her anyway, what harm would it do to push a little and "make the ho say know"? Or at least push things to get a more clear answer. There's not much to lose.
As I said I don't know the situation fully and I could be off on this, but it's just the sense I get from what I do know about it, and is something to consider.
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Yes and even if she tries to strings you along again, you haven't lost that much face. So when you cut her off, you will be taking more away from her with you, you're takeaway should be more effective. The one problem I see is if you don't try to force her into a decisive move soon and you string it along too long , the window of opportunity can close and she'll lose interest and nothing likely will be effective.STR8UP said:Dammit Keto! You always manage to find things I hadn't thought of and then I have to rethink it.
The fact that she is usually very enthusiastic whenever i talk to her would lead me to believe that you might be right about me not taking enough initiative, playing it too disinterested. But SHE did say that SHE would call me, and if she says something like that and I go and contact her I look a little anxious, don't you think? I suppose even at her suggestion for dinner it would be to my benefit to say "I will call YOU to set it up".
I mean, she is middle eastern, so she might have a little bit different idea of how the "mating dance" should play out. Maybe she wants to be "chased" a little?
Funny thing is, everytime I have seen her since the first night we hooked up she greets me and says goodbye with a kiss. Not a peck on the cheek type thing. In public, like something she would give a boyfriend. I usually don't get that from chicks I am casually dating.
I see what you are saying. If two people are doing the same thing there won't be any progress.
Maybe I will wait a couple of days and just shoot her a text saying "You owe me dinner. When and where?" Granted, that's leaving it up to her to plan, but it's based on a command by me.
I just don't want to let it go to sh!t over a technicality. I'm not really THAT interested, but enough so that if there's any hope I don't mind seeing what happens.
Alright, so ONE MORE CHANCE on the possibility that she's one of those chicks who just doesn't know how or doesn't want to send the ball back over into my court until she gets served a few times.ketostix said:Yes and even if she tries to strings you along again, you haven't lost that much face. So when you cut her off, you will be taking more away from her with you, you're takeaway should be more effective. The one problem I see is if you don't try to force her into a decisive move soon and you string it along too long , the window of opportunity can close and she'll lose interest and nothing likely will be effective.
Yeah what I'm saying is there's a possibility she's willing but has to be confidentally led every step of the way. Like on Saturday, I thought it would've been a good idea to contact her and lead her to a meet up. And if she didn't come through even after you attempt to lead her, then she should been dropped. If she doesn't deliver the goods, at some point she has to be dropped. I think one more time where you confidently and directly try to convince and lead her to a meet up and see if she falters before dropping her is called for.STR8UP said:Alright, so ONE MORE CHANCE on the possibility that she's one of those chicks who just doesn't know how or doesn't want to send the ball back over into my court until she gets served a few times.
Based on her "actions", wouldn't you say she's not THAT interested either? Meaning if it were me, maybe I would push things a little to score some ass but go into it without any expectations of something more. I know the little games women play when trying not to seem too interested, but usually if they are more than luke warm they put in effort to make "something" happen, even if it means purposefully "coincidentally" running into you somewhere.STR8UP said:I just don't want to let it go to sh!t over a technicality. I'm not really THAT interested, but enough so that if there's any hope I don't mind seeing what happens.
You don't have to answer this, but mind if I ask what line of work you're in?STR8UP said:Ahhhhh.....a vacation.....that would be re-invigorating to say the least.
I'm not working this much by choice. Basically it's either bust my ass beyond my physical limits or my life will be fukked up for a long, long time. Fortunately this is probably the worst of it.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Unfortunately i am self employed. I own a retail business and some real estate. I say unfortunately because when you do what I do you gotta be prepared to take the bad with the good, no matter how bad the bad is.MikeEdward1973 said:You don't have to answer this, but mind if I ask what line of work you're in?
It sounds like what's going on there is having a really profound effect on your personal life. I know what that's like, so I was just curious.
I'm assuming that was a joke.grinder said:Oneitis
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.