I'm tired of rejection... please help!

[MrDoomMaster]

--There are 2 parts to this post because it is so long. Part 2 can be found in the proceeding post--

Talking about being a man, here is a summary of how I interpret this concept:

Do not make women your ultimate desire or goal in life; make it one of the least important concerns in your life. Your happiness will be driven by non-rejecting goals in life. Women will only be a side of entertainment that makes your already-entertaining goal all the more entertaining to achieve. Happiness is driven from the Playstation 2 console, not from the accessories that go with it. It is ok to love, but not to show it. Keep all emotions on the inside, never express them or let them effect you physically. Always be happy and show confidence- depressing physical appearances give women uncertainties of how independently qualified you are.

Am I right? Reading through your forums, I have gained much knowledge and understanding on the levels of attracting women and giving them the ideal ‘man.’ Yet, I feel many things contradict with these words of wisdom. To start, I’ll present a scenario I am having in high school right now with a girl I admire greatly:

I am a senior in high school right now, and she is a junior. My name is Robert, her name is Barbie. I have admired her ever since I was a sophomore and I like her still to this day. She seemed so perfect in everyway except for a few things. She had some bad habits I didn’t approve of and they disturbed me because my heart told me to go for her, but my mind told me no because she smoked and drank a lot. Through her entire life at my school she never really had any approval from any of the other students. No one liked her and they teased her with false rumors. To make this simple, I guess you could call her a ‘reject’ because no one liked her.
Through time, I had a few classes with her, and it drove me crazy to see her and not be able to have her. I figured the best repellant of love is hate, and considering I didn’t want a girl that was involved with drinking and smoking, I started to force myself to hate her and be mean to her in order to prevent myself from getting in too deep. This went on for a very long time, and towards the end of January of 2003 I decided the whole thing was stupid and that I liked her far too much to hate her and decided to get to know her. I soon found out she stopped smoking but still drank and got drunk on special occasions (so she tells me). I realize we haven’t been talking for over a month yet, but I decided I should get some help before I screw everything up. Yes, I am one of those ‘nice guys’ and it has given me nothing but rejection through my entire life. I had the false impression that women enjoyed men that devoted their time to them and waited on them hand and foot.
I have been suspicious of a few things that may indicate she has an interest in me, but considering I am a ‘nice guy’ I better run them through this document so that I can gain some opinions on them. First of all, I’ve done well about the obsessive part because I haven’t been calling her much at all (only 2 times as a matter of fact). I only get to see her on weekdays, during school. School time is 7 hours long, with 7 class periods each ranging 50 minutes long. During 4th period I have a class with her and she sits in the desk in front of me and we chit chat all period every day I see her in there. Keep in mind, she makes it quite obvious that she wants me to sit next to her because when other students complain about where I am sitting she always recommends me sitting in a desk next to her. There is also lunch time, which is right after 4th period and lasts usually around 30 minutes. During 4th I ask her if she wants me to sit by her at lunch with her friends and she always says “if you want to”, then I ask “No, I want to know what you want… do you want me to sit next to you?” and with that she replies “yes.” I do this in order to see if she’s really interested in me- to see if she wants me around her. Also, I brought up the fact that I didn’t like her friends because the last time I sat with her at lunch her friends were really rude and got me angry. I told her that I didn’t want to sit over there anymore because of them. She then replied by saying that it would hurt her feelings if I didn’t, so like any nice guy would do- I sucked it up and continued to sit with her at lunch and ignoring her pathetic friends. The only other way Barbie and I could communicate was through AOL messenger, which wasn’t very efficient because she was RARELY online. During 4th period I would say something like “I didn’t see you on last night, where were you?” and she would be honest about it and say she was busy or had to go baby-sit or something. One of the times I asked her why she wasn’t on she offered me her phone number and said that I would have a better chance of getting a hold of her on the phone. I accepted the phone number and called her that night after getting home from school.
I am pretty sure that at lunch, when I’m not sitting next to her, she is watching me. She sits quite a distance behind me so I am really unable to make ‘eye contact’ with her (to give her that ‘yeah I like you’ feeling) without turning completely around and making it absolutely obvious. I know this because Barbie is always able to give specific details about what I am doing at lunch. For example, before I started being nice to Barbie there was a girl I’d always talk to because I liked her. Barbie would always be able to give VERY specific details on how I’d act around the girl that sat by me at lunch and Barbie also said that I made it obvious that I liked that girl. I figured this was a ‘girly’ thing of Barbie to do considering that talking to other girls makes you seem less obsessive and like I once read, ‘women want what they can’t have’.
Also, in 4th period, when I do something little like run my fingers through her hair for like one split second just to enjoy the feeling of touching some part of her body, she doesn’t resist in any way at all. It seems that every attempt I make to flirt with her, she makes no attempt to resist. Another note- when people in her other classes ask her if she likes me she simply replies with a “we’re just friends”. I figured this is alright because you can’t just expect to hit it off with a girl immediately after starting to talk to her. You have to take time to develop an interest in her.
She does know I like her because I have expressed this to her in semi-sneaky ways. For example, I will tell her about a conversation me and a friend would have had: “yeah me and my friend were talking and he asked me if I liked you and I said yeah I do like her, and then he told me I was really nasty for liking you… I thought he was really stupid though, he really hasn’t taken the time to get to know you”
I have asked her out on a date, but in a very polite manor. I asked her that if she were to have any free time would she like to go out and watch a movie and eat some pizza. She said yes, and that would be great if she ever has free time. She is honestly a pretty busy girl, and it seems completely incorrect that I have absolutely nothing but free time in my life and she is always so preoccupied with traveling or visiting friends or baby-sitting.


--Part 2 can be found in the proceeding thread--

 

[MrDoomMaster]

Part 2

--Part 2--


Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all good signs I’ve been getting. There are still 2 major conflicts here:

1. First conflict is religion. She states that she is a faithful Christian, yet she’s done things that put any relation she may have with Christianity in vain. Examples are: She’s had sex with 2 guys, and she drinks, and she uses profanity. She also tells me that she would never date a guy that wasn’t the same religion as her. This is a very scary thing of her to say because I, myself, do not believe in religion. I won’t get into a complete documentary over my spiritual beliefs but just in brief, I will say, that I believe there is a strong difference in a RELATIONSHIP with God and a Religion. Religion is corrupt, and causes fights, divorces, and wars. People think they have to go to church and perform spiritual ceremonies to be in good faith with the Lord and I simply believe that religion is too social and my belief rests within a more personalized relationship with God. I have completely expressed my thoughts on ‘religion’ to her and she never really gave no approval or disapproval to my beliefs, she only debated back by naming her own beliefs. She seemed pretty strong about not dating a guy that was of a different religion than her, for she said her ex boyfriend was a Christian also. I could only sooth this fear by telling myself that if she TRULY was interested in me, she would not allow such a stupid conflict as religion to get in the way of things. I would really appreciate thorough assistance on this whole religion matter, it is quite disturbing to the heart to have no answers.
2. Second conflict is the drinking. I, myself, have never even tasted alcohol. I realize it may taste good, but it is a bad habit to get into. The important factor is that I do not have the self-desire to even want to taste it, and therefore shall never do so. I can’t exactly figure out why, but the fact that she drinks and even gets DRUNK bothers me and makes my heart feel like it’s being squeezed, resulting in depression. I actually spent a good 24 hours thinking this through and decided that I would not express my thoughts about her drinking until after we start dating (IF we start dating). Keep in mind I have not been around her while she has even been drinking, I’ve only heard her admit to it.

As you can see, there is not much to tell because I have been rather specific on everything that has happened between Barbie and I. Now that you have the basic story, I would like to ask some questions to clear up some confusion I have about the whole DJ concept:

First, how can you be so certain that these ‘methods’ are guaranteed? I realize there has not been any guarantee, yet everyone seems so certain that everything will work out perfectly by reading and following the advice from these forums. I interpret that being a ‘man’ would mean not to worry about if you win or lose the girl because you must show confidence and not let anything bother you. Yet, regardless of how much of a man you may be, the affection must have a motivation… how could you continue to try for a girl when you know she doesn’t have an interest in you? I believe, in one way or another, you end up worrying about what YOU want AND what SHE wants. The documents I’ve read on the forums make me feel like in order to be a ‘man’ you must give no regard to how the woman feels or what she thinks during the process of making her like you. Is this true?

Secondly, I get the feeling that acting more like a man would require me to give up my ‘nice’ ways and show more authority. Yet, it seems so difficult. Here is a scenario:
If a girl, a girl you like, drops her pencil on the floor while your at her house watching TV with her and she asks you to pick it up… what are you going to do? Me, the nice guy, would pick it up with her at the flash of a light. What would a man do? Would he say ‘why can’t you get it? You’re right there next to it…”. If he does say this, won’t she break up with him? How can you even be so certain of a definite reaction? I believe all women are different and men will obtain different reactions by using the same methods on different women. Please try to prove me wrong and make me understand this.


Third, when FIRST introducing yourself to a girl and giving her the little hints that you are attracted to her, how can you be certain she even likes you? You say ‘women want what they can’t have’, yet, what if they don’t want you? Why would they want what they DON’T want? Sure, you may do everything perfectly, and talk to the girl as a ‘guy’ and get her phone number, then leave at the end- but how can you be certain she’ll want to talk to you again? She may just reject you because of your flesh… regardless of how you dress. Sure, I guess these are the kind of things a ‘nice’ guy worry’s about, but what if this isn’t just one woman? What if, in the process of ‘being a man’, you are rejected by 90% of women even when you follow the advice perfectly 100%? Are you supposed to keep trying?

I will admit, I am very inexperienced with women. I have spent most of my teenage years acting depressed and just expecting women to come to ME. I figured out after 4 years that feeling sorry for yourself and trying to make girls feel sympathetic for you do NOT work. If I could get some more emphasis on being a ‘man’ in MY situation with Barbie, I would be greatly appreciative. Also, when in a relationship, is it ok to be a ‘nice guy’? If Barbie and I go out, I want it to be long term… because that has been a life long goal; to have a long term relationship. I really like Barbie a lot and I don’t want to screw this one up. I really need some guidance!

By the way, I just would like to express how much I’ve learned from your web site in just 12 hours. I have done NOTHING but read and I NEVER READ!! My WHOLE life I’ve dread reading but now I can’t get off of your site! I’m growing obsessed with these methods and I hope to soon master them so my days of depression and loneliness will forever be vanished. Thanks so much for your time, I really hope you can help me. Even reading through these posts and articles, I still feel like I need some personal interaction in relation to my situation with Barbie in order to FULLY grasp an understanding of becoming a DJ. Thanks again!

 

[stallion]

I know, it sucks when you're a newbie on this forum lately. The senior DJ have seen this kind of post come on too often that they either leave the site entirely or just read and only reply to a quality post. I won't blame them but I can comment on some of your issue.

First of all, being a DJ doesn't guarantee that you will get every single girl at your wish. You can't make everything perfect. Next, when you mention what you should do with a 99% rejection rate, how many rejections are you talking about?? 3, 4 per week??

Thats a lot in my opinion because I just started acting it out after reading this site for too long but if you read the Bible and the old posts, you want to approach 15, 20 girls a day and get rejected 80% of the time. If you approach that much girls and get used to it daily, it'll even out and before you know it, you'll have to decide who to go out with!

As for the control issue, I had the same problem. What do you do when a women asks you to do something? Some guys suggest to never give in but IMO, that would eventually turn you into a jerk. However, that doesn't mean you'll be her stooge either. I think for this, you have to judge when its appropriate to grab your balls. If its possible at all, be ****y and most of all, be a man when you sense that its the chance to be. For example, when the girl asks you to pick up the pencil, I would tell her that I would do so if she paid me or if she's giving me the pencil, something like that.

You should try to keep it light and flirty in cases like that but if you think she's testing you or tries to use you, you gotta do that I don't give a crap attitude. Let her pick her pencil.

About the religion issue, I wouldn't let that bother me. If you're following the main points about what it takes to be a DJ, then the girl is not worth it if she still rejects you. LIke Doc Lov, you have to cut through all the crap and bottom line it. After getting the #, call her for a date and see if she would accept it. If she has the high interest, she would go and even if she can't because of some dire emergency, she would at least offer to re-schedule it.

Otherwise, she would give you all the ******** (obscure, pu$$y talk) you can take that means she doesn't want you. If you get the crap, then next her. Find a different girl.

Knowing all this, I'm still uneasy with my experience too and I notice I made many mistakes. It takes practice and I'll continue asking the same girl out until I improve or she totally loses her interest on me. Thats when I would next her and move on. In the meantime I'm also trying to meet new girls too. That way, you're always on your toe and get practice at the same time.

Finally, I know this takes time but read the Bible or finish it if you've started!!!

 

[MrDoomMaster]

I'm not really sure but i think spending time with her while still being a 'man' is all i can do for now. Starting off easy, and asking her to be my girlfriend when the moment feels right is all i can think to do.

 

[stallion]

I wouldn't "ask" her to be my girl friend. You should do it through action, such as kinoing (touching), flirting, not to mention kiss-closing.

If you ask her "whether she wants to be your gf" or "be my gf", you'll be asking her for the permission so thats not manly. Guys can pick out a girl they like but girls do the decision. They will be your gf if they want to and DJs have the qualities that would make them "want" to come to you. Then, its up to you to decide whether you want to take that offer.

Also, you can spend times with her but don't spend it like you live off her and cannot stand to be away from her. Doc Lov has a great saying on this. I forgot the exact phrasing but basically its, "show the kitty the bait, but make them fight for it."

So it starts off as you show your interest and then withdraw. Withdraw as in giving them light signs of interest and be busy with your life. Show them you have women, friends that needs your attention. You can't make women #1 priority as pook says. In other wods, don't be desparate.

Anyways, good luck in shaking your AFCs off!

 

[rbd]

Well first off thanks for sharing your experience on this board. That takes balls.

I have a few suggestions that you might want to consider.

1. Maybe I'm one of those unwashed masses, but I don't consider drinking and smoking that bad, even for high schoolers. True, I abhor smoking and would not date a smoker. But, my friend, you need to get drunk. I do drink and get drunk from time to time, but I do it in moderation. Honestly, while I was reading your post, it sounded more like 4th grade rather than high school to me at first, but I'm from one of those evil ghetto public schools.

2. It's good that you realize that at this point, yes, you are an AFC. However, you admitted it, and that is the first step to success. I am still not fully a DJ, but I do know that having the balls to say "yeah that was chumpish of me" puts me so far ahead of 70% of the guys out there who are chumps in denial. Congrats!

3. Do you really want this chick, or do you like the "bad girl" image? Sounds like she's some kind of "forbidden fruit" to you (excuse the Biblical puns )

Here's the deal man. Women are flakey as hell. I was raised Catholic, at this point in my life it's not the religion for me, not because I want to be "bad" (I don't), but because I don't agree with what it preaches.

My first gf is Christian. She was a virgin and even had one of those promise rings, that she'd save her virginity until marrage. 99% of girls can't keep promises like that. When it comes right down to it, EVERYONE wants to fvck. It's natural, it's human, and the only thing holding us back, is ideals and restrictions imposed by society (or as Freud would call it, the superego). I knew that I (being a virgin) wanted to loose my virginity to another virgin. I knew that she had some reservations about sex, but I ultimately knew that deep down, she wanted it. She wanted it badly. And that was the case. She offered it to me before we even started dating.

As for your last part of the post, you do know that nothing in life is certain. The DJ principles are no exception. Dude, I wish I could be the biggest loving nice guy and still get the girls that I want, but as you well know, that is simply NOT the case. Think of where you are now as a nice guy. Do you like where you are? I would guess not since you're on sosuave posting about your experiences. But, I will tell you right now, DJing is more than getting girls, it's a life philosophy, but I think that you can make it work for you.

But if you take anything away from this site, let it not be METHODS, but a MINDSET and a PHILOSOPHY. A true DJ is not about tricks and tactics, he is about inner resolve and self-respect.

Robby

 

[stallion]

rbd puts it perfectly.

Its the philosophy and the mindset that we're all striving to have. AFC tends to see women as the goal. It should be something that comes along as you strive to become a better person with dignity, spine, a goal, etc. Thats what a real DJ should be, I think.

I hope my comment didn't sound like methods. they're supposed to be things that would naturally come out of a DJ when they have that mindset.

 

[MrDoomMaster]

1. Like i said, drinking is a bad habit. Even under moderation i just don't have that desire to do it. Unless it is forced down my throat eventually resulting in me enjoying it, i won't drink it. I set myself some minimal standards and smoking is NOT one i am going to toss away. But about Barbie drinking, i think i'll just get over it... i'm being quite foolish about that. But i will NEVER kiss an ash tray! Not for a million dollars! And my high school has around 200 people in it. Not a large school, so it is safe to say it is more of a less-resitricted 4th grade class

2. First off, what is an AFC? I'm a newbie, sorry... i don't know the terminology. I'll have to read the bible some more to get the terminology down i suppose.

3. I don't get what you mean. Yes i really do want this girl.

Everything in my life as a nice guy is perfectly fine. I enjoy computer programming and that has been my life long goal ever since i was 10. All i do really is sit on my computer 24 hours a day. I never go out and hang out among the town folk because i don't think it's fun to go out to bars or clubs or party's. It's not because im not a social person, it is just because i would rather be on my computer than out wasting money and talking to people. When it comes to having a girlfriend with me, i would definitely go out on the town with her... that is the only way it would be fun. The only part of my life that is troubled by being a nice guy is women. I'm not sure if it's because the availability of women in my 800 pop town is very limited, or just because im a nice guy. I live in texas around all of these country hens. Does geographic distribution of feminine beings really matter when it comes to attracting women? And im sorry for saying 'methods'. By 'methods' i mean't the whole concept of DJ. I'm a newb remember? hehe... i'm trying to learn as fast as i can so that people won't get frustrated with me. Thanks for everyone's advice.


Stallion:

What do you mean don't ask her out? Around where i live (i'm not sure if this is a global tradition) it is traditional to ask a girl out. It only feels right to do so. I would really feel like i was intruding or being rude if i started feeling up on her leg or kissing her. Again, like i've been saying, life is far too uncertain to be just feeling up on her. She might just think your only interested in her for sex. Touching = horny guy. By asking her out, your not really asking PERMISSION... it's a question that isn't really a question... by this i mean, when you ask her out... your letting her know that you want to dedicate your heart to her, and no other woman... and your letting her know that you WANT her to join... if she rejects, then she rejects... it takes questions, to get answers.

 

[stallion]

AFC = Another Frustrated Chump aka nice guy that finishes the last, has 100000 girl friends but no gf, sensitive guy, etc..

You're a newbie so I should've clarified on Kino (touching). Its not the same as groping. AFCs tend to confuse this to that but real Kino is a way to show them that you're a sexual being and you don't want to be LJBFed.

LJBF (Lets just be friends) is the kiss of death when a girl you like uses on you after you let her know about your feelings.

I'm also still learning so I might be wrong about the asking out part but usually, if the girl really likes you, you shouldn't be required to word it out. If she accepts your kiss, then that should be insignificant. Kissing isn't just horny, its your way of asking her out without saying it.

As for Kino, feeling the girl up isn't the point. It involves touching non-sexual parts like the upper arm, shoulder or sometimes hand. The leg part comes in way later and its not necessary unless your goal is to get laid. Globally, kissing at the 1st date doesn't always work because of cultural issues. Theres always exceptions.

More onto kino, the Bible has a topic on it and it does a better job in explaining it than I can. Wanting a relationship can't be totally non-sexual as you put it. If all you want is a purely loving relationship, or being able to trust the person, have the best friend, a guy can play this role. A ideal relationship with a girl is when you have sexual and non-sexual attraction at the same time.

Besides, don't you want to avoid being seen as only a friend by the girl? Believe me, it happened to way too many AFCs and thats usually the reason why they come here and realize their mistakes. Being only friendly and supportive to the girl of your dreams would only get them to see you as a "male" girl friend or an emotion tampon. They will reveal their guy problems, and all secrets to you and its really crushing to find out later that they only see you as a good friend but no more. You haven't been to this stage yet so I'm warning you because its not fun.

This girl sounds like a bad girl but even so, it wouldn't help if you show no sexual vibe to her.

 

[aznbreakerjrey]

I read most of what everyone posted and here's the lowdown:

Yo man, do what you have to do. You know deep down what you want to do as a real man, so gather your balls and do it. As is usual advice for a newb: "READ THE DJ BIBLE" Then you will know what to do, how to do it. Also, drinking is really not that bad as long as it is in moderation, and I agree that smoking is a repugnant habit.

What stallion meant by not asking her out is that you don't ask her out in question form eg. "Do you want to go out with me on Sat?" Rather, one must tell, not ask. In addition to that, be as specific as you can. eg. "Hey, let's go out and play pool on Saturday afternoon, Barbie."

And yes, you should focus more time READING THE DJ BIBLE.

 

[stallion]

oh, another problem with being a totally nice guy is that you risk becoming a door mat to not just woman, to anybody else when you're "too" nice. Thats the concept of DJ, you're also trying to improve your life at the same time. Again, DJ doesn't mean you're a jerk. It means you have the gut to say "no" when its appropriate and have a life. Spending $$$ in meeting people isn't a waste of money. Of course you should do things that you enjoy but spending all your time in front of the computer and expecting to know everything about handling women isn't DJ. There are places to go besides bars and clubs. Have you ever gone to a dance club? Yoga Club? Sports club?? There are many other social settings where you can meet women.

Also, you're putting all of your eggs in one basket. You're counting everything on just your Barbie. What if she rejects you? Are you going to wait until you meet the next one?? If you already live in a place where there aren't much people, your odds of finding the next Barbie will take forever. You said you're tired of rejection and you know its because of that nice guy, AFC mindset. The materials in this site will sound controversial to you at first but gradually, you'll see the meaning behind it after the bible. I hope this helps.

 

[MrDoomMaster]

Regardless of if im a DJ or a nice guy, the number of women you talk to simultaneously has to do with faith. Faith is a personal quality of mine that makes me so trustworthy. It is alright for a man to have faith isn't it? Being faithful just means it will take me a little bit longer to find my 'one' because i chose to talk to one girl at a time. Although i act like Barbie is the world to me, she is however, not. I do put much thought and concentration into success with her- yet i've learned from being a nice guy that getting in too deep never turns out good. I have found efficient methods of preventing myself from falling for her too quickly and they are working for me well. I thank everyone for their advice, it has really given me some more things to think about.

 

[Panther]

Hey Mr Doommaster: You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger...

I wouldn't drink alcohol, I wouldn't go out, would spend my time on my computer, would dream of finding the "one" etc.etc.

Do you know what happened? I found a girl I thought was the "one" I was looking for. And I realised that I had no idea whatsoever of what I should do... And ended up making all the AFC mistakes in the book (some several times or in very bad degree). And got the LJBF treatment, and was depressed for a lot of time. And then I woke up and realised there is something wrong in my life:

Buddy, I know exactly what you feel since I was just as you were when I was at school. And I regretted a lot of things I didn't do back then.
I know you think of clubbing, drinking and dancing as a waste of time and money that would be spent more efficiently in your room and on your computer. But know that at some time in the future, you will change your mind. It is better sooner than later. So my advice to you is to socialise more, try going out with friends for a change, try out some alcohol (don't need to get drunk, just get one drink or something, find one that you like its taste, I never drunk alcohol before but now I think a Smirnoff Ice is quite ok!)

Work out more and do some sports, it will increase your self-esteem and confidence...

And completely forget the "one girl at a time" bull****. One-itis is the "little death that obliterates everything".

Feel free to ignore my advice. When I was your age I got advice like this all the time but kept ignoring them. And now I wish I could go back and change everything... Your life, your choice

ThePanther - former WBAFC and currently DJ cadet

 

[Zircon]

yeah I agree with Panther.

Listen I wasted 7 years of my life on a one-itis chick From 18 till 25. It still hurts when I see her. She doesn't know it but it's there and probably will always be.

I know I could move on easily if I found someone worthwhile, but I have this built in fear of chicks screwing me up. It's just pre-programmed after 10 years of experience.

The time that you spend wanting this one chick you will not grow. I have experienced that. After 7 years I am still at the same level I was initially. That's depressing and not easy to get away from.

Do yourself a favour and learn the easy way from us. That's why you're here after all. Move on. There are too many wasted opportunities in your past already.

Good luck.

 

[MrDoomMaster]

It's not that i won't listen to your advice, it is just that i can handle it. Trust me guys, i have spent most of my life drooling over girls like you have and i have learned ways to completely erase them from my heart and mind. Although talking to multiple women at a time might sound more efficient and quicker when it comes to finding one that will like you, but is that not for only impatient men? I have a simple state of mind.

Reading the DJ Bible has given me much to think about and has most definitely boosted my self confidence. Today i talked to barbie, and while i was in 4th period i asked my teacher if i could go to another class room to help another teacher with some computer problems. At this time Barbie got sad and told me not to go. I told her i have other things to do, and that i was going to go. She then begged the teacher not to let me go and he said that i couldn't go and i stayed. This was good because i know she wants me. Regardless of what she wants, you MAKE her think what YOU want her to think right? Isn't this one of the many truths of being a DJ? Ever since reading the bible i have completely thrown away obsession and i spend less time with her while using the time i DO spend with her to indirectly show her some affection. I do use the 'feeling' concept to let her i know im interested, and it DOES work... she doesn't even resist when i touch her. Also, after the bell rang for 4th period to be up, i said 'have a nice lunch' and she looked at me and said 'WHAT??" and then i said 'i'm going to help that teacher now, so you won't see me at lunch. No disrespect, i just have things to do". I think i did well.

When it comes to working out and playing sports to boost my self confidence, i believe that is just like saying go talk to women to boost my self confidence. Everything that isn't your DEDICATED goal is just a side order of entertainment along the way to achieving that primary goal or goals. Sports, women, working out... all of that is just a side dish. Although im a newbie and everyone is probably rolling their eyes at what im saying, i'm sorry. But i have talked to people about various things and told them how things would lead up but they never listen. You know why they don't listen? Because they don't understand. I don't understand. It is for this reason that i have so much faith in that i am much stronger than the rest of you guys have been when you were in my situation so long ago. No offense by this, but as you can see i uphold some major confidence in myself. I train my mind personally, not through experience, but through common sense. I look at things in both perspectives. There is so much to explain on how i see things and learn things, but all i can say is that my mistakes rest within my future... i believe there are no consequences and whatever happens will happen for a reason, no matter how bad or good it may be. There are rewards in every little thing that happens to you... the only thing keeping you from getting these rewards is how quickly you recognize them.

I really wish i could understand and heed your warnings guys, but like you said, you would have been just as stubborn as me. Just because your fate might have been much more troublesome than mine, doesn't mean mine must have the same fate. Life is too uncertain for regrets guys. Things could have been worse. They could always be worse.

I really can't express in words how much i appreciate everyone trying to help. Although i seem to be debating this advice, it is more of a process of boosting self confidence. Deep down i have limitless respect for everyone here. Thanks so much everyone.

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

Damn... don't we have a lot to say... *cracks knuckles* all right.

Do not make women your ultimate desire or goal in life; make it one of the least important concerns in your life.

Yes!!! Finally someone gets it. *Reloaded has this strange feeling that somehow he's going to blow it.*

Women will only be a side of entertainment that makes your already-entertaining goal all the more entertaining to achieve.

Man... I like this guy.

Keep all emotions on the inside, never express them or let them effect you physically. Always be happy and show confidence- depressing physical appearances give women uncertainties of how independently qualified you are.

To do that is impossible... sometimes, you are better off showing your anger... that is a sign of confidence.

I have gained much knowledge and understanding on the levels of attracting women and giving them the ideal ‘man.’

Yes... he's on a roll...

Yet, I feel many things contradict with these words of wisdom.

*Car suddenly crashes* Damn it... I knew it.

I have admired her ever since I was a sophomore and I like her still to this day. She seemed so perfect in everyway except for a few things. She had some bad habits I didn’t approve of and they disturbed me because my heart told me to go for her, but my mind told me no because she smoked and drank a lot.

(This only gets worse, I'm assuming) She can't be perfect, or even seem that way... and you just contradicted yourself. If she has these habits you don't like... she's far from perfect.

and it drove me crazy to see her and not be able to have her.

Yup... it gets worse.

I decided the whole thing was stupid and that I liked her far too much to hate her and decided to get to know her.

Surprise, surprise.

Yes, I am one of those ‘nice guys’ and it has given me nothing but rejection through my entire life. I had the false impression that women enjoyed men that devoted their time to them and waited on them hand and foot.

Whoever told you that myth... I want you to throw them out of a window.

I'm going to stop all of the sentence analysis here and just cut to the chase... if she said you are just friends... then guess what... you are just friends. It's that simple... but, what I will give to your credit is that you are willing to learn and are learing... that's the first step. The second step is realizing that this chick is not worth your time, because she is giving you a bunch of bull**** excuses. If a girl really likes you... she'll never be too busy. Second... she says that she won't date anyone out of her religion... sounds like even more bull**** to me. If she really liked you, again it wouldn't matter. For instance... I'm Christian... my girlfriend's agnostic... any problems... nope. If you don't believe them... believe me... these methods do work. At first I didn't believe it either... but try them you won't regret it.

Welcome to the Dark Side

The Matrix: Reloaded

 

[MrDoomMaster]

Did you read my previous post? I am getting a bit confused because she seems to give me signs that she likes me, she even said 'yes' when i asked her if she thought i was attractive! The whole habit thing of hers honestly doesn't bother me anymore, i can't believe how fast im adjusting to the DJ way of life! I honestly will have to say, i think it might be a bit hard for you to understand who she really is unless you've been in my situations. I couldn't go into details of what has happened between us every second of our conversing, but i hope you will trust me enough to know that I know that she is giving me good signs... why even try for any girl if you shall not have hope? Hope for her, but don't grow dependant on that hope... that is how i see it. Hope while enjoying other things... Dependant hope leads to desperation, and causes depression when found out you can't have her. This is the nice guy method, and i am far from attending these 'nice guy' ways any longer. I hope you will read my previous post if you have not already to get an idea of how i handled things with her today. Again, look at the good things WHILE looking at the bad things... and make an average judgement. Those who ever told me to only look at the good things only for that is the 'optimistic' way of life was always so full of ****. The only way the good can be good is if they surpass the bad to a great or reasonable extent! I will look forward to receiving more responses! Thanks guys!

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

I am getting a bit confused because she seems to give me signs that she likes me, she even said 'yes' when i asked her if she thought i was attractive!

One rule that some Don Juan must have forgotten to mention... never listen to what women say... and only pay attention to what women do.

I couldn't go into details of what has happened between us every second of our conversing, but i hope you will trust me enough to know that I know that she is giving me good signs... why even try for any girl if you shall not have hope?

Good signs huh... then riddle me this? Why is she always sooo busy for you? Doesn't sound like a good sign to me. There's hope Doom Master... and then there's reality.

I've looked @ all sides of it... but I don't think you are looking @ this situation objectively... once you do that you will realize the truth. Which... let this girl go.

The Matrix: Reloaded

 

[MrDoomMaster]

Good ways to make her want you?

I was thinking about a great way of giving myself the 'im a pretty busy guy! your gonna have to work hard to get my time" look. If you've read my VERY long and amature post about my situation with a Junior girl named Barbie, you will kind of have an idea of what im going through. But here's my idea:

SHE sits next to ME in one of my classes in school and we usually talk the whole period, just about what she's gonna be doing in the future and im pretty much always tellin her to get some friggin time so we can date. No, i don't ask this... i say... get some free time damnit so we can go out girl! Anyway, i was thinking about, tomorrow, telling her that i went to a really crazy party last night (she doesn't even know i go to parties, so i think this will surprise her in a way that makes her get big eyes and think to herself, "wow... he went to a social place???") and that i only went because one of my old friends from oklahoma was there and he invited me. I was then thinking about continuing onward with this lie by saying that there were SO many women there... i couldn't believe how many were talking to me. I literally got a list of phone numbers... i'd be sittin there having a drink and one would come up and talk to me, and offer me her phone number and write it down for me. I would then continue more by saying that i'm not sure if i'll even call any of them, i haven't made up my mind yet.

Would this be a good way of making her jealous OR make her realize how little time she has before i actually get interested in another girl? Keep in mind this party never really happened, this will simply be my idea of a way to make her realize what kind of busy MAN i am and how available i am not only to her, but to other women! Some guidance would be good! If this plan is bogus, please give me a WORKING method! Thanks guys!

 

[MrDoomMaster]

Yes but reality can be so drepressing can it not? Perhaps i should stop hoping and start KNOWING! if i KNOW she likes me, then it won't matter if she does or not because i'll be happy anyway and at least i'll have fun trying if i lose! Don't worry man, i don't make her such a number one priority. I would much rather be playing golf then putting up with her, she is a side dish remember? She is the addition of my life that actually makes that golf ball look like a minature breast... makes the game all the more interesting!

Thanks man! I'll heed your words!