"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I'm the fling

Desdinova

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A little while back, I met this really cool chick. Me and her hit it off really well, had lots of laughs together, and clicked amazingly. Her texting etiquette was somewhat questionable, but I just went with everything and we had some really good dates out of it. Usually when I proposed a date to her, I got a response the next day or silence until I pressed the issue. Whatever, I usually get stuff like that in the beginning and then responses become more instant as time goes on.

She's cancelled a total of 2 or 3 dates which I found a little odd in the beginning, but she always counter-offered. It took us a few tries to successfully fvck. The opportunity was either wrong, or she didn't have the time for a long date, or whatever. We finally banged last weekend. Not the most amazing lay I've ever had, but I don't expect a lot from the first time.

She's been acting funny ever since and has cancelled one date (with a counter-offer). Her texting responses have become more scarce as well. I was trying to figure out what was so awful about the first lay, and I really couldn't think of anything.

Today, I went poking around on her facebook. There was one guy who was sending her romantic 5hit, so I thought he was an orbiter. When I looked at his page, it said he was in a relationship. I poked around a bit more on his page, and it became evident that this is her BF. Now, everything makes sense.

So what the hell do I do with this whole situation? I'm tempted to tell the guy and ditch her cheating ass.

Edit: Also, I have herpes. She knows this. It's unlikely I gave it to her, but she shouldn't be fvcking around with me if she has a bf she's also fvcking
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Peaks&Valleys

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She might be looking for a branch to swing to. Maybe you stopped giving off the branch "vibe". :up:
 

Desdinova

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If you want to be her back door guy, game her like Vegas baby.
If the guy was just some other dude casually fvcking her, I'd have no problem doing this. However, he's her bf.

She knows I have herpes, so she knows she's putting herself at risk of catching it by fvcking me. However, he has no clue about what she's doing, and if I continue fvcking her, I'm knowingly putting HIM at risk for catching it. I can't do that, and I'm tempted to message him and tell him to go get tested.
 

Malcontent

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There is the chance he might rage against you. Do either of them know where you live/work?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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amoka

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You could be jumping around here, Des. What I think you should do is to first try to find out from her if she has a boyfriend. If she denies it, ask her about the guy. If she says he's my brother or cousin, find out from the guy himself. At this point, you'll know she's not just a cheater but also a lying b!tch. Then, you can contact and inform the guy.
 

Desdinova

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I went through the "see friendship" link on Facebook, and I'd be stupid to think that they're blood relations. Either he's a very heavy orbiter, or he's her bf.

I used my junk FB account (with a fake name) to sent him a message asking if he was in a relationship with her. Waiting for a reply...
 

VladPatton

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Bang her like a bass drum regularly or ditch her and all of the soap opera drama that comes attached to her poon. Don't tell the bf anything, fück that chump-diggity.
 

Desdinova

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I never got a response from the guy, so I asked her about it. He's apparently a very heavy orbiter and she's asked him to stop repeatedly.

After thinking about it, the idea that she had an existing bf didn't really fit in with a lot of things. She wants me to meet her parents and she's perfectly cool being seen with me and being affectionate out in public. I doubt any of this would be happening if she was cheating on a bf.

I was supposed to have a date with her on Saturday, but I never followed up with it. I figured that if the guy's just an orbiter, flaking will raise her interest a bit (which it did). Stuff like that usually helps raise interest and makes them just a tad insecure :)

I've got a date with her on Thursday.

I've also been working on the abandonment issues that have caused me to lose my fvcking mind and flip out on chicks. So far, I've been quite successful at keeping the emotional end of things under control. Now that I know what my problem is, it's much easier to understand WTF is going on when I get all emotionally stupid. I didn't flip out on her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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