"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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I'm sure you mature men can answer this situation

Kyontate17

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I'm a 21 yo male and this women is 32 married pretty flirty woman to a 50yo man. This takes place at our job where theirs alot if people around most of them are men and alot of them talk to her but me I really don't, We hardly talk but when we talk our talk is short sometimes at work we make strong eye contact for a long time and that's all we do. But she aloof and that doesn't bother me. Two days ago I was talking to a friend at work then she walks behind and tap my shoulder didn't say a word to me it's wasn't like playing around kind a thing either.well to all this I just want to know what does she want from me?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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betheman

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Kyontate17 said:
I'm a 21 yo male and this women is 32 married pretty flirty woman to a 50yo man. This takes place at our job where theirs alot if people around most of them are men and alot of them talk to her but me I really don't, We hardly talk but when we talk our talk is short sometimes at work we make strong eye contact for a long time and that's all we do. But she aloof and that doesn't bother me. Two days ago I was talking to a friend at work then she walks behind and tap my shoulder didn't say a word to me it's wasn't like playing around kind a thing either.well to all this I just want to know what does she want from me?

she wonders why you dont join in the attention fest, that about it, nothing else to go one, if you want to find out more, flirt back at her and see what happens
 

Kyontate17

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She also keeps a lid to her emotions. Won't I be just like those guys if I do flirt back? By the way thanks for replying.
 

betheman

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she is playing the guys, you have done well by keeping your cool and not joining in, you may be more of a challenge to her, her tapping you on the shoulder should have met with a .."whooaaa, dont touch, this is reserved" type of response, with a smirk or a wink and strong eye contact.
just play it cool
 

Kyontate17

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Two more thing I want to add is that I started the eye contact several months ago at that time she was always find a reason to approach me or she will call my name to go to her about work or something else but she stop doing that now,and I also caught her looking at me but she looked away as soon as I looked at her.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Interceptor

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Kyontate, get comfortable being around people. Get comfortable being yourself, and relaxed, confident around women.
What you described is...well...brother, youre the creepy guy.
Dont be the creepy guy.
If she talks to you, talk back. Be comfortable with her, and use this as a way to ease yourself in being comfortable interacting with women.

Learn how to read women's signals, and how to communicate with them.
SHE isnt some science project, but this circumstance is a good learning experience for you.
You dont have to prove anything to her. Dont try to take her to bed. Dont try to seduce her. Just be cool. Learn how you hold your body when youre interacting with a woman. Learn and study yourself if youre too into your head. Maybe youre overthinking things. Maybe youre planning, analyzing, whatever. Dont. Learn to be relaxed, calm, manly and confident.
Be respectful. Be a gentleman. Think less creepy staring guy, and more relaxed James Bond.
Think less "I got a put on a show so maybe they will like me" and more "Im masculine, cool, calm, and confident. I can handle this. I like being around women." Things like that.

So try not to focus on things that are not real, and focus more on your self development. How YOU Deal with circumstances.

Good luck.
 

Kyontate17

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Thank you that's all I wanted to hear and I wasn't interested in her I jut wanted know what does she want from me
 

zekko

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She is using kino on you. Women use kino more than men do, and use it very effectively. She wonders why you don't give her attention like all the other guys do, so she's initiating some playful touch to get you hooked into her orbit.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Kyontate,
You have had lots of good advice here.....If you value your job move on....Anyhow,this woman would suck you in and blow you out in bubbles,why stuff up her kids life by playing ball with her?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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