im stuck in this hellhole for another year!!!

[Desidarko19]

So i dont now why im making a thread maby its just to vent out a little or sumthing but heres my story and its prolly gonna be a little loong one......

Im a punjab 2 generation born and raised and currently living in Norway , im 20 years old and as of lately ive become fat around my belly. Ive got a job but ive only got two friends who both live over 4 hours away from me and we never talk anymore so i guess i got no friends everyone i know has moved on . i live in a small town crackpot of a city with only white guys , nazis cradle robbers and alchoholics.
I still live with my family , im very unmotivated and lazy prolly cuz of my father working my ass since i was 11, seariusly he made me work since i was 11 and he would slap me if i didnt do it , i wanted to watch cartoons and chill but no , that was for lazy people. one time he even punched me with a fist , cuz i was walking to slow when working, he usually just slaps me or hits me with a stick.... but as i grew older he stopped eventually , one time last year he said he had gotten me and himself a job at a contractor and that i would get 3 grand when i finished, so i said oki and i worked my ass off for 7-9 10 hours a day (including saturdays and sundays , and pouring rain days ) for about three weeks , i was gonna spend the money to go on a trip with my only friend in town before he left, but then when i asked when i would get the money he just said :
"what money? , why you need money when you still live under my roof? "
then he said that i wasent a good worker and i didnt do **** at work , when actually i worked my ass off and i even almost lost a thumb... so i had to cancel my trip wich i was really looking forward to , cuz ive never been out of the country alone so i can do whatever i want, last time ive been out of the country was about 9 years now..... and if thats not bad after we yelled at each other he hit me again , and then he stopped paying for me to get bread and milk , my mom doesnt cook for me , so i usually end up making and eating sandwiches for breakfest and dinner everyday..... but since he wasent gonna pay me or even just give me money for food , i had to eat plain crackers and water for a week some days nothign at all.... after that i just got totally destroyed in moral and even giving a **** , i just slept all day long i didnt have any money so i couldnt leave town, i didnt even have somewehre to go to , and i dont have any friends in town , so i just spent my time in my room... i just sat and wtached tv in my room everyday .... seriuosly considered taking my life , if i didnt have tv to distract me i probably would have.....
to top it off , they told people that i was lazy and spoiled , but they left out parts like him scamming me and eventually not even giving me money for food and hitting me.... after that i did sumthing stupid and i started to steal money from his e.account , i stole about 3-4 grand , but i was getting desperate so i didnt think twice... but now i know that what i did was wrong and i said i would pay him back since i got myself a job now....
also ive got a older brother , hes four years older then me , and he just lied to my parents and said he had soccer practise when he actually went out and sat at his friends house playing video games while i had to work when i was 11 12 years old till i was 16 .... he got everything he pointed on , he got all the friends all the family members loves him , and hes a bastard to me , he scammed me for 2 grand , (i got money from the state to travel to my shcool wich was a hour away but i saved it instead so i could buy a computor) so i wanted to buy a computor and i asked my brother for help , he said he would give me his computor and his cell phone for 2 grand , i didnt know any better and i trusted him so i said yes , half a year after i bought it , the pc-screen got broken the psu got broken the graphics card got broken and the hardrives got broken....

i used to go to shcool , but i got so lazy that i had to drop out cuz of attendency , so i had to wait a year before i could go to college to take up the classes i missed , and just last week i found out i failed one of my 10 exams that i had last month , and now ive got to wait another year before i can go off to college.... so now im stuck here for another year with out any friends , or any motivation or anything....

I found this site 3 years and 2 months too late , so i never been with a girl even though after reading some stuff here i found out that i had several girls that were interested in me. ive never even kissed a girl , ive just gotten hugs , i was the cute handsome friend who thought that you should treat women like princeses and do everything that they ask... but i know that i can pull girls now if i wanted to , but i dont have any motivation to do it , but thats not whats my biggest problem is , my problem is that im stuck in this hellhole of a town for another year!!! . ..

fuc\king out im so effing tired of life giving me sh\it , its been dealing me sh\it cards ever since i can remember , its not enough that i had to find out about racisme first hand when i was 10 , its not enough that i almost get knifed by a nazi gang when im 15 , its not enough that everyone i thought were my friends started cheering for the guys who wanted to beat me up , its not enough that i had to work all the time since i was 11 , its not enough that i always find out about stuff when its too late .... and still i get just more and more sh\it coming at me in my life....
its not like i asked to be born its not like i asked to live in this sh\ithole..... sometimes i really hate this world.....

 

[oakraiderz2]

What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to accomplish? Where do you want to go? If you do the sh*t you're always done, you'll always get the same results...

 

[KarmaSutra]

I still live with my family , im very unmotivated and lazy prolly cuz of my father working my ass since i was 11, seariusly he made me work since i was 11 and he would slap me if i didnt do it , i wanted to watch cartoons and chill but no , that was for lazy people. one time he even punched me with a fist , cuz i was walking to slow when working, he usually just slaps me or hits me with a stick.... but as i grew older he stopped eventually , one time last year he said he had gotten me and himself a job at a contractor and that i would get 3 grand when i finished, so i said oki and i worked my ass off for 7-9 10 hours a day (including saturdays and sundays , and pouring rain days ) for about three weeks , i was gonna spend the money to go on a trip with my only friend in town before he left, but then when i asked when i would get the money he just said :
"what money? , why you need money when you still live under my roof? "
then he said that i wasent a good worker and i didnt do **** at work , when

First and foremost kill your father. Perhaps not physically but, at the very least, mentally you need to destroy him. Blame it on the oedipal / psychologically defeatist mentality.

actually i worked my ass off and i even almost lost a thumb... so i had to cancel my trip wich i was really looking forward to , cuz ive never been out of the country alone so i can do whatever i want, last time ive been out of the country was about 9 years now..... and if thats not bad after we yelled at each other he hit me again , and then he stopped paying for me to get bread and milk , my mom doesnt cook for me , so i usually end up making and eating sandwiches for breakfest and dinner everyday..... but since he wasent gonna pay me or even just give me money for food , i had to eat plain crackers and water for a week some days nothign at all.... after that i just got totally destroyed in moral and even giving a **** , i just slept all day long i didnt have any money so i couldnt leave town, i didnt even have somewehre to go to , and i dont have any friends in town , so i just spent my time in my room... i just sat and wtached tv in my room everyday .... seriuosly considered taking my life , if i didnt have tv to distract me i probably would have.....
to top it off

The rest of this drivel is self defaming "eternal victim", bullsh!t. Take control of your life. " my mom doesn't cook for me."

Are you fvcking kidding me? Serve yourself.

 

[Holland]

You're right on with

its been dealing me sh\it cards ever since i can remember

But blaming your unfortunate situation isn't going to help you. You need to make the best that of what you do have. Your body, a roof above your head and all other basic stuff. Stop doing **** for people if they don't show any respect in return. Don't waste that gained time to watch TV, use it on things that bring you closer to your goals.

Start asking yourself questions like:

What can I do to "where I want to go in life"?

instead of

What is it that limits me from reaching my goals?


Remember:

Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him

Make a plan to transcend these circusstances, so you won't have to go through your life like your father does.

 

[brucevangeorge]

Its time to move away. Find a job somwhere else, get a new life. Don't go back to your parents... ever.

Move to another country if you can get the money.


Whatever you do, just remember: RUUUNN!!! Stay the hell away from those people!!!!

 

[brucevangeorge]

Ands as for your motivation?

The only reason you are not, is because you have been borrowing his. He makes you do stuff, not you. You have to find the power to find it in yourself. To want to do things, to have your own wil and not takei t from your dad.

And again, I ask you to reconsider: Move away from them unless you want to end up like them. They have a greater influence on you than you know.