I'm still too scary looking

[monster squad]

*sigh*

I've written countless posts about this (well, maybe two), but I can never make any sense of it.

I've been trying really hard to appear friendlier, and it doesn't seem to be working. Stopped bulking, started eating less, dropped 22 pounds. I try to smile once in a while, but I have some minor nerve damage in my face from being bitten by a dog when I was a toddler (the scars aren't noticable unless you're looking for them), so that comes out halfassed, and it's almost painful to smile. Started dressing a little more conservatively. Blah blah blah.

Still people cower in fear. Today I went out shopping, and women in the parking lot acted like I was going to kill them. I walked over to look at some DVD's at Borders, and this guy who was standing there quick put the movie he was looking at back on the shelf and walked around the display in the middle so as to not make eye contact. People look down if I so much as glance at them. Kids stare. People will be talking to each other, then go silent when they look at me. It's ****ing nuts!

I'm not the elephant man or anything, and girls used to always tell me how "cute" or whatever I am, but that's only after they get to know me. It's hard to get to know anyone.

To give a ballpark figure, imagine Kane from WWF (WWE, whatever it's called these days) about a foot shorted and 60 pounds smaller, mixed with a young Orson Welles (there WAS something a little sinister about him), with some piercings and whatnot. Besides ditching the lipring and everything, and losing more weight, which I don't really look forward to doing, what the hell am I supposed to do?

 

[DJVladdy]

Can you put up a pic, man?

 

[Adrian]

To give a ballpark figure, imagine Kane from WWF (WWE, whatever it's called these days) about a foot shorted and 60 pounds smaller, mixed with a young Orson Welles (there WAS something a little sinister about him), with some piercings and whatnot. Besides ditching the lipring and everything, and losing more weight, which I don't really look forward to doing, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Fvck man!!! I'd be scared too!

 

[zerocelcius]

If you want to change their reactions you have to change what they are reacting to. I am sure if you are that tall and bulky than they are going to look anyway. Don't worry about smiling it creeps people out when you do that. It makes them think you know something they don't know, or you are up to something. Since you are so big they really don't want to think you’re up to something. You know? Try a head nod or an eyebrow raise instead.

I know piercings are normal now, but not to the older crowd.
You really can't do anything to change your natural build, and don't kill yourself trying to lose weight. Try losing the piercings (other than ears: two at the most.)
If you have long hair try to wear it really clean and never lose, or just cut it.
Wear decent jeans and a button up shirt solid color or simple design. Good shoes count for a lot.

No facial hair or clean trim stylish cut.

This is to get people to not look at you so much. Or react to you in a more positive way. First impressions are so strong, but sometimes it is their ignorance and has nothing to do with you.

This is just a suggestion and in no way the final answer I am just going off of what I read. I agree with DJ V a pic., would be helpful.

 

[monster squad]

Ah, what the hell...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v685/cadaverinc/Picture017.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v685/cadaverinc/Picture016.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v685/cadaverinc/Picture.jpg

(^^^ That last one was after like 10 hours of drinking, and I nicked my ex-roommate's glasses.)

It's not really my face that I'm so concerned about, though people do say that I tend to look mad most of the time. It's more my overall build.

(oh, and if my e-stalker should see this: Hi Dana! How the hell are ya?)

 

[The Sperminator]

Not bad pics man. I thought your face was going to be scary as hell but it's not at all. What you can do is take the piercings off, shave, grow some hair. The thrid pic looks a lot friendly than the others too. Try not to give like mean stares like in the first two pics.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Jesus Christ, the whole Kane/Orson Welles thing is spot fvcking on!

Unfortunately young brother, with the way you've portrayed yourself you'll be lucky to get a weird ass goth chick or fetish model.

You get what you advertise for. Lose the c0ckring in your lip first. I'm all for originality and self expression but don't b1tch when you can't get a "normal" girl because you've made the decision to emulate a Cenobite.

 

[monster squad]

I used to have really long hair, like down to my waist, but I started going bald when I was 22, so off it went. If I let it grow back at all I get told I'm starting to look old, so...

 

[monster squad]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v685/cadaverinc/Picture018.jpg

Better? Actually that pic is from a few years ago, and I don't know why I look so pissed. I think I was mad at my guitar or something.

Anyway, piercings aren't a big deal around here. There's a tattoo shop with a piercer on pretty much every corner. I've thought about ditching them, but everytime I tell some girl I might, she tells me not to, or that I need more. I dunno. The hole left behind looks worse in my opinion.

 

[Kev07]

lose more weight, your face is really round

stop mugging with your eyes, put some kindness in your eyes if you know what i mean

 

[monster squad]

Thanks for your input Mctwist, but if I started wearing clothing from any of those shops (and I'd have to actually drive a fair distance to do so), I'd stick out like a sore thumb. The only ones I see pulling that look off around here, are essentially a laughing stock. I mean seriously. Even the cops around here look like thugs, riding around on Harleys when they're off duty.

edit: What I'm trying to say is that it's not the way I dress, it's my demeanor. I could walk around wearing a suit, or dress like you recommended, and probably get more stares.

 

[KarmaSutra]

You're not a bad looking dude. You need to stop looking like your dropping a watermelon out of your dirtchute.

Otherwise you should be ok.

 

[Night Owl]

Well, coming from the other side of the pond in UK, the gothic style does scare people.

Personally, if it was me - I would loose the facial hair and all the piercings, then loose a bit of weight. But most of importantly, I would totally revise my dress. Every tried dressing like in a plain white shirt, a decent pair of jeans - not ripped or faded, and a jacket and good shoes. When you're out you are selling your self man, and the women prefer the packaging to clean , tidy and appealing to the eye.

If I nip out down the shops in my around the house gear ie untidy jeans and a old t-shirt, I hardly get noticed, but if I make a bit of an effort to look the part, well the story is a lot different.

Dress gothic get gothic women - dress Hollywood star get the hot babes - simple & you will feel more confident too.

Man it's time for a makeover !!

 

[Jerry Maguire]

I think you look a little like Jack Black actually.
I'd advise you to cut a little more to try and make your face slimmer.
Experiment with facial hair, how about keeping a 5 o' clock shadow?
I'm going to go ahead and say that even though you had the incident with the dog, you can still smile, or find a smile that works for you.
I used to have a ****ed up smile, but I started standing in the mirror and pulling off the biggest cheeser I could muster and holding it til it became painful.
Then my smile became more natural and less tense.

Strange, I know, it's like a smile workout

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Like Jerry Maguire said:

SMILE!!!

 

[NickSCFC2000]

Turn that frown upside down.

 

[zerocelcius]

I used to have really long hair, like down to my waist, but I started going bald when I was 22, so off it went. If I let it grow back at all I get told I'm starting to look old, so...

My brother was bald by 22. He just keeps it buzzed not shaved and it looks good, kind of like Bruce Willis.

I think the skull cap is a good look on you too. I really expected something different. You aren't scary at all. You do have that bad a$$ look about you in some of those pics. I understand about not looking like a target in your town. I don't wear Mall clothes. Go for something like I stated above. Get a black button up shirt. Bigger guys should wear black. Don't over do it or don't under do it. T-Shirts: try to make sure it doesn't have a logo on it or band name. Vector Prints are cool or Tattoo inspired shirts are cool. Vintage is on it's way out (at least this version.) No chains from the wallet. The piercing you have is fine, with your hair color I would suggest going with a black ring with a black ball.

Just balance what you have naturally. You have a natural bad a$$ look, so add a refined outfit. But tie it into your natural looks with a pair of black leather boots. Facial Hair: go with a neat 5 o'clock shadow (meaning don’t let it creep down your neck or to high up your cheeks.)

 

[zerocelcius]

Or a sporty outfit like this one!

http://www.diamondmountaincasino.com/entertainment/view.asp?ID=32

 

[Stuntmann]

Your problem is your lack of self confidence, or self esteem.

How do you know people are reacting bad towards you? You look for that!! When you looking for something specific, you find it.


I'd say keep your current look, but you could do better. Even with your current look you are still attractive, thought!! It's your lack of self esteem, self confidence, that's gross. Got it?


Here is what you need:


1) Healthy weight, low body fat.

2) Unbold yourself, you look bold.

3) Shave. Facial hair are not attractive.

4) Peakcock with your hair length, and style. Get rid of lip piercing, keep ears.

5) Dress approprietly.



That will fix things about 5%. The rest 95% are in your head. You need more confidence. Work on your confidence using a method you haven't used before. Because if you worked on it before you failed.

 

[Soyoushave]

That will fix things about 5%. The rest 95% are in your head. You need more confidence. Work on your confidence using a method you haven't used before. Because if you worked on it before you failed.

yes, but it's the 5% improvement that helps so many guys to actually feel their self improvement.
In order to change from the inside (something you can't directly see) it really helps to have something 'physical' changed. something that you can look at