I'm still having AFC tendencies and want to improve

[Deicide]

Hello, I'm trying to improve my game and believe I have though you can never gage my success since I've never had any with women. Lately, I'm still letting women walk over me(by that, they ignore me and I keep coming back for more) and getting too attached to certain ones. I admit, I'm a recovering AFC. For a certain girl, I keep "waiting" so to speak until she breaks up with her boyfriend and that is not good. And I'm having very high standards, going for the most attractive ones(HB's 8 and above) and getting ignored. I'm trying to lower my standards and use average women for experience but even I'm finding they have boyfriends!
The good:I'm fearless in asking hot women out
The bad: Get too affectionate with them too fast and I still feel needy when I don't talk to a girl for a week or so who hasn't been replying to me. Like I feel I need their attention.
Advice welcome, and certainly needed.

 

[Blaise]

Hello, I'm trying to improve my game and believe I have though you can never gage my success since I've never had any with women. Lately, I'm still letting women walk over me(by that, they ignore me and I keep coming back for more) and getting too attached to certain ones. I admit, I'm a recovering AFC. For a certain girl, I keep "waiting" so to speak until she breaks up with her boyfriend and that is not good. And I'm having very high standards, going for the most attractive ones(HB's 8 and above) and getting ignored. I'm trying to lower my standards and use average women for experience but even I'm finding they have boyfriends!
The good:I'm fearless in asking hot women out
The bad: Get too affectionate with them too fast and I still feel needy when I don't talk to a girl for a week or so who hasn't been replying to me. Like I feel I need their attention.
Advice welcome, and certainly needed.

I felt like this too. I had two oneitis' consecutively, both were my ex best friends. The first, I was infatuated when I was 16 for a very long time. The second I met and soon lived in my house. I was so naive and AFC (before I saw these forums). I eventually got the first to be my gf, but because of my AFCness she cheated on me with her exes. And I cut her off thinking I still had something with the second. The second knew better that I was clinging on too her and recently let me go forever.

Since then, I know now i can't show as much affection to other people anymore. It hurts when you realize they don't show the same affection towards you. You know why?

You don't love yourself enough to let them go once your in the relationship. You have to love ourself more than them. That was my big problem, I've always had a cling issue since I was born when my parents left me. I never learned to love myself because I thought people would always leave me. And that developed other insecurities and problems in other relationships.

I'm actually glad my second best friend left my AFC ass. Now I have no one I depend on and I can grow and learn to love myself in the process. So I thank her for having the balls to leave me and let me grow my own pair.

Now I wouldn't advice you to go into this, but this is what I'm doing. I've cut out everyone in my life except family. And just rebuild and learn to love myself. And each day I grow stronger and work on inner game. I'm still far, but I've been making huge steps into doing that.

And also read the DJ bible.

 

[Deicide]

I'm not going to go that extreme with taking out everyone but family. It seems like you're living the life of a prizefighter to an extent if you get what I'm saying. I come from an affectionate and emotional family. I wasn't left by my family or parents so I'm not sure why I'm clingy. I'm impatient and want everything now so that could stem from my problems. lol I'm going to join Plenty of Fish now and see how that works out for me.