I'm still a nice guy.

[amazingswayze]

Here comes yet another one of too many frustrated threads by Swayze.

Today some b.s. happened, and it's my fault.

Today was the club fair at my school from 2 p.m. to 5. It was a day for all the organizations and clubs to showcase what they offer. I saw three that caught my interest; Men In Action (M.I.A.), The Pan-African Heritage Club, and The Christian Fellowship club. There was also a Frat that I thought was pretty cool but I don't see myself joining a frat.

Back to the issue at hand. First I hang with HB6 Kayla after class this morning and we study in the library. We have some history but I've been friendzoned by a fat bvtch. smh. I got bored of her anyway b/c she wouldn't put out.

By the time the fair starts, I have plans to meet with HB7 Jess and a few others. Jess says she will be there in 30 min. A few min later she calls me saying she needs a ride. "It's 5 min away" (1st red flag). I comply, thinking this is a good chance. It took me 20 min. When she gets in the car, I give her a kiss on the cheek. She says, "that's cute". So, we get back to school and chill. I'm not really making any moves whatsoever. It's time to go so I drive her back to her place. Before we get back to my car she tells me how she's going out to dinner tonight with a guy she's 'almost together with' (2nd red flag). I drive her home and give her a kiss on the cheek again before she leaves and she says, "Aww you're so nice" (strike 3). I've been friendzoned.

I've been friendzoned. And I know it's cause I didn't escalate. I have no excuses for why I didn't. I'm just another AFC orbiter to her. I don't care about losing my chance with her, I just care that my nature still hasn't changed. I'm still not alpha. I'm still AFC in essence. I thought I was so cool after this summer because I got more experience than I ever got in my life but I guess it doesn't make a difference. My behavior is still not where it needs to be. I need work.

When we were chilling today, HB7 called at least 2 guys hot. This proves to me 2 things; 1. attraction is instant and 2. I'm still not that guy

I've been here for a while. I just want to change. I've learned a lot but I'm still not the person I want to be.

I have work to do. Maybe when I lose weight and hopefully grow facial hair sometime soon my confidence will grow, and my SMV will be higher. I'm not hot, and that's all I really need to be for these girls to want to fuk me.
I want to boost my sex appeal. I don't really know how. I'm trying to lose weight right now so I eventually have a six pack, so my face is slimmer and more 'handsome', and so my Testosterone goes up.

I'm still beta bucks.

I know I'm not making any progress by posting this but, I just have to voice my opinion somewhere. I don't talk to my friends about this crap. Thanks for listening. I'm in a rough patch once again but I'll pull through.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Leave the h0es alone for a while and workout at least 2 hrs a day. Make a diet and workout plan to take care of your situation.

You are allowed to mess with females that don't waste your time ( IE: your having sex ).

You gotta get over this hump.

 

[WanderingMan]

Jess says she will be there in 30 min. A few min later she calls me saying she needs a ride. "It's 5 min away" (1st red flag). I comply, thinking this is a good chance. It took me 20 min. When she gets in the car, I give her a kiss on the cheek....... Before we get back to my car she tells me how she's going out to dinner tonight with a guy she's 'almost together with' (2nd red flag). I drive her home and give her a kiss on the cheek again.

Why are you giving this girl a kiss on the cheek?

She basically orders you to give her a ride, you comply, then you reward her for it by giving her a kiss on the cheek. Then, she tells you how she's going on a date with another guy that night, and you give her another kiss on the cheek!

What in the blue pill fvck are you doing??

I've been friendzoned. And I know it's cause I didn't escalate.

Yes, you have been FZ'd but, no, this has nothing to do with escalation. This is due to timing and mis-calibration. I'm sure there was originally interest there on her part, but you miserably failed her **** tests. Therefore the interest and attraction was lost. And you knew you were failing, those kisses on the cheek were seeded from desperation.

When we were chilling today, HB7 called at least 2 guys hot. This proves to me 2 things; 1. attraction is instant and 2. I'm still not that guy

Wrong. They were **** tests that you failed because you paid attention to what she said, and not what she was doing. She was out with YOU, could she have been testing you, trying to make you jealous - seeing how'd you respond?? Actions > Words.

Maybe when I lose weight and hopefully grow facial hair sometime soon my confidence will grow, and my SMV will be higher. I'm not hot, and that's all I really need to be for these girls to want to fuk me.

The fail safe; blame it on your looks.

I want to boost my sex appeal. I don't really know how.

Stop being so outcome dependent - start being a MAN.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Man oh man... I heard your story, and it reminds me soooooo much of when I was 18 and "just friends" with every girl I really wanted to get with.

There's nothing wrong with being a "nice guy," per se. However, there IS something wrong with being a pushover, which is the kind of guy a girl doesn't have enough respect for to be attracted to. Right now I can tell you are a pushover. How? Just by how your story starts out:

By the time the fair starts, I have plans to meet with HB7 Jess and a few others. Jess says she will be there in 30 min. A few min later she calls me saying she needs a ride. "It's 5 min away" (1st red flag).

The fact that she already knew she could count on you to give her a ride indicates that this isn't the first time a woman's gotten you to do something that you didn't really WANT to do for her, but caved in and did anyway. Which also indicates that, when it comes to women, you have a hard time saying "NO" to them, which is something you NEED to become comfortable with before women will start respecting you.

Try this little exercise for a week: for 1 week, don't do anything nice for any of the females in your life (with the exception of your Mom). By this, I mean: no opening doors for them, no complimenting them, no giving them rides, no listening to them when they start talking about other dudes... every thing you have trained yourself to do that's supplicating to women, don't do it for just ONE week. I did this exercise in college as an experiment to see how mad women would get at me for not doing the typical nice guy stuff I was doing back in the day. Y'know what happened?

Nothing.

That's right - nothing. No girls got mad at me, or told me I wasn't a good friend anymore for not doing what they asked me to do... nothing. What DID happen, though, was a shift in my mind that let me know it was okay to say "no" to these chicks, and that it wouldn't destroy their world OR our friendship if I did so from time to time. And that's something you, too, need to get into your head.

Think about it - what's the worst thing that would have happened had you not given this chick a ride? Realistically? She would have caught an uber or a ride from someone else, seen you at the school and been like "Hey, finally made it! So, how are you?"... AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN IT! But you haven't experienced this because you haven't been saying no to women - so, try it out and see what your results are.

 

[Tictac]

You don't have to be a di*k. But you do need to learn to say no.