Ok guys, I've been trying to do the DJ bootcamp lately. I'm obviously stuck on week one. I've gone out everyday this week with the goal of saying hi to any HB that crosses my path, but I just can't friggin do it! I've gone out to numerous stores with this goal in mind (probably at least spending 4-5hours a day driving from one store to another) and I just keep failing. I don't know what the **** it is. Like I've said hi to 2 HB's, and these were both situations when nobody else was around. But if I go to a packed mall and see an HB walking by I just cant bring myself to say "hi" to her because... I don't know why. Probably because I become socially conscious about myself in relation to what other people would think. I think "I can't say hi to this girl, if she ignores me everyone around me at that moment in time will think I'm some idiot." I suppose thats what's holding me back. It ****ing sucks, I go out specifically to complete this task wasting mountain loads of gas and a few hours of my time just to end the day feeling hopeless. URGH! How did you guys build up your confidence levels to do this? Any inner game tips?
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I'm socially retarded - I can't even say "hi" to a random HB
- Thread starter Bilogomja
- Start date
Metaphysical
Senior Don Juan
u suffer of fear not retardness
CapedCrusader08
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I kind of relate. See,I work a retail job, so I say hi to hundreds of strangers per day,no problem. I feel in control,and can answer most questions. But outside of that, I can't bring myself to really do what I want to do.
I too often feel self concious. Like I want everything to be smooth and perfect more or less. It's not even towards ultra hot girls either. What kills me also is all the times I have been out before,anywhere,and didn't do anything.
I too often feel self concious. Like I want everything to be smooth and perfect more or less. It's not even towards ultra hot girls either. What kills me also is all the times I have been out before,anywhere,and didn't do anything.
CapedCrusader08
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Also,how does one become it? The guy,you know?
martyfriedmanrocks
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I think you need to think about this in a different way. That is, what do you have to lose?
Seriously!
What have you got to lose by simply saying 'hi' to a random stranger? (news flash: hot babes are people too.) If the people around you (in the crowded mall) really bother you, then go out of your way a bit to another town where you probably don't know anyone, then start practicing saying hello. First to other guys, then average girls, then pretty ones.
Trust me, after you've done it, and you're looking at it from the other side, you'll be like "hahaha oh man, why was that such a big deal for me!?"
Seriously!
What have you got to lose by simply saying 'hi' to a random stranger? (news flash: hot babes are people too.) If the people around you (in the crowded mall) really bother you, then go out of your way a bit to another town where you probably don't know anyone, then start practicing saying hello. First to other guys, then average girls, then pretty ones.
Trust me, after you've done it, and you're looking at it from the other side, you'll be like "hahaha oh man, why was that such a big deal for me!?"
Thats your problem.You are going soley for the sake of women which is WRONG.Go out with a reason to go buy something/be with friends/etc...
Plus you are just starting out,why the hell would you try targets that are in a crowded ass area and typically walking in opposite direction?You are a beginner man take baby steps.
Go out with a friend and just have some fun and challenge yourself.Make a competition.Get motivated!
Plus you are just starting out,why the hell would you try targets that are in a crowded ass area and typically walking in opposite direction?You are a beginner man take baby steps.
Go out with a friend and just have some fun and challenge yourself.Make a competition.Get motivated!
Well it's very good you're going out. You're already one step ahead of half the people on this board. But really man, it's not that hard. Try not to think about it so much. After all, when you just look at the physical motion of it, approaching is nothing but literally having the balls to go up to a girl. Once you've done that you've approached and that's the worst part. After that just interact.
So my tip is stop thinking so much about it.
So my tip is stop thinking so much about it.
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
Look dude. You seem really genuine. So read carefully and implement this:Bilogomja said:
1. Go to a mall again, or wherever you find HBs.
2. Dress to feel comfortable and chill.
3. Look clean and drink some water to be energized.
Now, the art of approaching:
1. Walk parallel with the HB, or stand with your shoulders to the HB.
2. Look over your shoulder, say hello in completely calm and relaxed way, with a big smile.
3. Ask for directions, or something similar. And when you ask something, be genuinely curious about it, otherwise it will seem creepy.
Do this as a start.
If you feel fear, just bear through it. But don't let it come across, keep smiling, open your hands, relax your body, and speak with a comfortable tone.
That sort of advise never helps to someone like the OP because are appealing to his reasoning. The fear of approach doesn't come from the logical brain. Because the logical brain knows there is no threat in any sense from the woman you are approaching. It's not like the fear you'd have from approaching someone in a dark alley when you are lost and looking for directions. That fear is based on logic. The fear of approaching women is not. So any advice has to come from the realization that solving this problem can ony be at the "gut" level. Telling a guy like the OP "just do it, it's not going to hurt you" is like telling someone with a fear of heights to stand at the top of the empire state building and look down. They both know on a rational level that there's no threat. But the fear is coming from a visceral level and that has to be addressed somehow. That's where psychology come in perhaps and maybe this should be treated just like any other phobia, of water, spiders, height or whatever.martyfriedmanrocks said: