"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

I'm so retarded....

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
125
I feel like I'm in the 7th grade, haha

So last week this chick comes into my store. Cute, YOUNG, demure and exotic (which I like). The whole time I was helping her out she was giving me the doe eyes....total turn-on.

As she was leaving she asked my name and shook my hand for what seemed like two minutes. She asked if I would be working the next day since she wanted to come back in and buy some stuff from me.

She didn't show the next day, but today she came back in and made a purchase. As I was helping her we started chatting and I find out her birthday is at the end of the month and that she's turning 21, and she's single.

I was planning on working the "give me your number" line into the convo, but come to find out she's late for a hair appointment at the salon next door, and I can't get my register to work to get her change back to her. I told her to go ahead and do her thing since she was already late and I would fix the glitch and bring her change over to her when I was done.

So my chance at getting the digits was pretty well blown. I'm thinking "Hmmm.....nothing to lose here. If I don't do SOMETHING I'll probably never see her again. What to do????" I thought about it for a second, and whipped out one of my business cards and scribbled "This coupon good for one free birthday drink. Call number on back on or before 6/14/08 for details. Hurry! Supplies limited...." She was in the chair getting her hair washed when I went next door and handed it to her along with her change and told her that her birthday gift was included.

What are the chances she'll call? Eh....probably less than 5%, but who cares.....when you got nothing to lose you have everything to gain. I have found that women DON'T respond to you just handing them your number and telling them to call, but sometimes if you make a game of it and she is attracted enough to you, there's always a slight chance she'll call, and if she does you're IN.

So we shall see. I have to admit I felt a bit retarded doing something that I know has a very low chance of success, but again, nothing to lose so what the hell.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
And the good thing is if she does call you know the Str8up charm was in full effect that day.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
125
KontrollerX said:
And the good thing is if she does call you know the Str8up charm was in full effect that day.
Well one thing's for sure, and that's the fact that I can count on two hands the number of times in my 36 years that I have gotten that strong of an "I want to have your babies!" vibe from a woman. And in the past when I have gotten buying signals that strong, my gut was ALWAYS right and the woman was totally into me. The trick is finding the ones that I am into as well.

Another 20 year old...damn I'm a dirty old man.

If she only knew my age, haha
 

Deep Dish

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
2,191
Reaction score
175
Bro, how is your store treating you? Still pulling the long hours?
 

thedeparted

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
428
Reaction score
29
It's cool that she trusted you with the change. Could you have number closed at that point or when you brought her the change? In my experience they never call and I always kick myself for not closing the deal.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
4,440
Reaction score
1,559
Age
82
Location
Australia
I think she will be back,now when she returns just take it slowly don't come on too hot,mirror her hand movements,feed her back the same things she has just told you and she will give you the digits,of course she could just be an Ultra friendly girl,having a nice day,anyway give it a trot....Oh and 36 not a worry believe me...
 

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
"You seem cool, we should do X at some point ( or hang out)"

If she is as into you as you said, this will be your next closing statement. You will leave with the number.
 

Knight's Cross

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 31, 2007
Messages
471
Reaction score
43
Buddy that was all AFC. WTF are you doing? You sounded all highschool there with the cheesy line business card. Besides giving her all the power why didn't you just tell her what kinda car you were going to buy her....
Sheesh. Tough love and all buddy, but you screwed this opp. Move on

KC
 

Jeffst1980

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
834
Reaction score
131
That wasn't AFC, it was flirting. It was actually pretty clever and a genuinely nice gesture, considering it was her birthday. If she was into him before, I guarantee she'll be thinking about him even more after that.

She won't call, because only desperate, extremely confident, or really young girls call guys after stuff like that. BUT--she WILL make a point of coming back to where you work if she's interested. She will probably stake out the store. This is when you should ask to take her out for a (belated) bday drink.
 

ketostix

Banned
Joined
Feb 10, 2005
Messages
3,871
Reaction score
55
We've all been there and more than once when we didn't capitalized on a perfect opportunity. I think it was a reasonably good move to go next door and give you her number with her change. In hindsight, it would've been better to tell her to stop back in and you'll have her change then #closed. She likely won't call but I'm betting she drop in again.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

iqqi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2003
Messages
5,135
Reaction score
82
Location
Beyond your peripheral vision
STR8UP said:
Well one thing's for sure, and that's the fact that I can count on two hands the number of times in my 36 years that I have gotten that strong of an "I want to have your babies!" vibe from a woman. And in the past when I have gotten buying signals that strong, my gut was ALWAYS right and the woman was totally into me...
Firstly, I Laughed Out Loud when I read this. As all your threads involve some chick that REALLY WANTS YOU BAD... ok, :deadhorse: <- sh!t, they don't have that one here!

ANYWAYS, I think your little business card approach was cute. It would've been kind of not so cute, except your little witty line at the end. Good job :up:
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
125
ketostix said:
We've all been there and more than once when we didn't capitalized on a perfect opportunity. I think it was a reasonably good move to go next door and give you her number with her change. In hindsight, it would've been better to tell her to stop back in and you'll have her change then #closed. She likely won't call but I'm betting she drop in again.
My store was closing and she was going to be at the salon for a couple of hours. It would have been a bit on the creepy side to say "We're gonna be closed, but knock on the door and I'll let you in", so I threw out a last ditch effort.

I know it wasn't a first rate move, but I have had too many opportunities pass me by in the past like you said, and I got other irons in the fire anyway. Would be nice to get some more tight little 20 year old booty again though....it's been over a year since I've had one that young, hehe
 

DavenJuan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2003
Messages
792
Reaction score
32
Location
mistake by the lake
You should change your title thread.

THIS is the stuff that makes the whole thing worth wild. that feeling you get, the playful banter.

she may call, she may not call. but YOU acted. and you didnt just give her your number, you did something that she will remember.

at the end of the day WHO CARES if she calls you back or not, as long as you had fun doing it!
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 10, 2002
Messages
6,911
Reaction score
125
DavenJuan said:
she may call, she may not call. but YOU acted. and you didnt just give her your number, you did something that she will remember.
Yea, what a lot of guys don't understand is that CONTEXT is more important than CONTENT. You can do and say a lot of stuff that flies in the face of conventional DJ wisdom if you do or say in in the right way.
 

drmeathead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2004
Messages
490
Reaction score
6
Age
47
dude you are fine...when she calls about the free birthday drink agree to meet her out...then when yuo get there play it off that it was for one free drink for you on your birthday and it was a terrible miscomunication but you will but her a drink on her birthday since you are out and so she knows what to do on your birthady because you dont want her messing up your party...

if she doesnt call **** her...some girls dont like boys like you ohhhh but some girsl do
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

cordoncordon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2006
Messages
2,889
Reaction score
109
drmeathead said:
dude you are fine...when she calls about the free birthday drink agree to meet her out...then when yuo get there play it off that it was for one free drink for you on your birthday and it was a terrible miscomunication but you will but her a drink on her birthday since you are out and so she knows what to do on your birthady because you dont want her messing up your party...

if she doesnt call **** her...some girls dont like boys like you ohhhh but some girsl do

Huh?
 

cordoncordon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2006
Messages
2,889
Reaction score
109
iqqi said:
Firstly, I Laughed Out Loud when I read this. As all your threads involve some chick that REALLY WANTS YOU BAD... ok, :deadhorse: <- sh!t, they don't have that one here!

ANYWAYS, I think your little business card approach was cute. It would've been kind of not so cute, except your little witty line at the end. Good job :up:
Haha that was my first thought too, but he handled it well I thought after.

Good luck with the young hottie.
 

drmeathead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2004
Messages
490
Reaction score
6
Age
47
cordoncordon said:
i was just saying that he should knocked her off her pedastal a little. he sort of put her up on one. by telling her the unexpected that it was coupon for a free drink on his birthday not hers it would have put her off guard a little. then he pulls her back in by buying her a drink with the frame that it isnt for her birthday but only so she doenst mess up his free birthday drink. simple really...
 

Sir-M

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
83
Reaction score
0
DavenJuan said:
she may call, she may not call. but YOU acted. and you didnt just give her your number, you did something that she will remember.
Looks like you are not retarded after all, you lost your first chance but provided a very good recovery for yourself, i would have probably asked her to come back and collect her change after her hair do.. would have given you more time to chat, and probaly take her for a drink then ( provided you had someone to cover for ya)... i still commend you for your actions.. you realised your mistake and made up for it... it was your call and you took it..
 
Joined
Feb 2, 2006
Messages
70
Reaction score
1
Age
45
Location
Where the grass is greener
I think you did the right thing, but unfortunately I don't think she's going to call. I'm currently experimenting with giving out my number and so far out of about 6 girls one has contacted me via e-mail. The thing is I'm starting to get a handle on what works and what doesn't.

Girls will contact guys but the thing is, you need to have a lot of comfort with them. The one girl who contacted me was a girl I used to work with off and on. By the time I quit I had established quite a bit of comfort with her.

With this girl, from the looks of it you've talked to her for a grand total of 5 minutes. She may be attracted but attraction isn't enough. She needs rapport with you, she needs to know if she called you up you wouldn't suddenly turn out to be a creep.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Top