"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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im scared?

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wvpimp00

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ME and my girl friend who is a virgin were laying on her bed..
well.. we started making out and started some rubbing and groaping.. i asked her how it felt? she said:"I can barely feel it"..
so i said while unzipping her pants:"May I".. and she put the convers over my head and kissed me and she told me ?Im scared?", she has told me time and time again that she totally trusts me and she would never let another guy touch her body and i was the first guy to touch her...

why is she scared? how can i get her over this fear?

then later that night at like 1am we started kissing again and my hands wound up at the same place but this time she had my pants unbottuned and ready to come off and she reached for my diock.. but i could tell she was scared because she couldnt find it?..lol.. she was shaking and i could feel her shaking so i told her: im just going ot put it back, i understand your scared and i respect that* just tell me when your ready to do more..

why is she getting scared?
any feedback is welcome..
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Kineti[C]harm

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She's a virgin... Isn't it selfexplanatory? She's afraid cause she is inexperienced and probably uneducated/ignorant too so she probably thinks by touching your **** she'll get pregnant with 3headed children... No seriously she's inexperienced and probably afraid she'll do something wrong or something will go fvckar00.
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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Originally posted by wvpimp00
...this time she had my pants unbottuned and ready to come off and she reached for my diock.. but i could tell she was scared because she couldnt find it?why is she getting scared?
any feedback is welcome..
Click to expand...
She was probably scared because she couldn't find your penis!:):):) she is thinking, "this guy wants to have sex with me and has no penis for crying out loud"

Was she looking behind you - maybe she didn't know where it was suppose to be located! She probably was asleep that day that they covered the male anatomy in health class!!!
LOL :) :):)

You guys kill me!!!!!!
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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WTF DUDE!! If she couldn't find it when it was hard and at it's maximum length, what the hell is she going to do when you are not excited, put you on a surgical table with microscopic instruments - forget about using a 1000x microscope, she'll have to borrow the hubble telescope in outer space to aid her in her search! :) LMAO

She'll have to call the pentagon and have them redirect their military satellites to your location when you are about to have sex and guide her, through radio contact, to its' whereabouts. You'll have to plan your sex when the satellite is directly overhead in your country and you'll have to provide them with your GPS location.:):):)

It'll cost billions of taxpayers dollars just so that wvpimp00 could have sexual intercourse!!!

After going through all this trouble, you'll probably end up limp and unable to get an erection, wvpimp00, says,"I can't get hard I'm too nervous, I feel like aliens are watching us"! LMAO again!
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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Dude - don't you know!!!! It wasn't that she was scared so she couldn't find your penis!!! It was the other way around. It's because she couldn't find your penis, that she was so scared!!!::)

I'm killing myself from laughter, I better stop!!!!
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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WaterTiger

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PuertoRican Lover~

DUDE! You are so mean! The Hubble telescope???
 
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PuertoRican_Lover

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Originally posted by WaterTiger
PuertoRican Lover~

DUDE! You are so mean! The Hubble telescope???
Click to expand...
The most powerful telescope in outer space - takes photograps of objects light years away - named after astroomer scientist.
 
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Viking25

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LOL this is freaking great! ...at list he gets to fukk virgin!...I would donate my left nut to some women's charity if i could fukk virgin! Nevr had one.:(
 
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wvpimp00

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short timer... whats up with your name?
does short timer mean you blow pretty quick? or is that referring to length?.. and well you cant get a virgin and i can.. so bite me!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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